Am I the only one who has never been followed? In that case, I’d probably call it serious harassment, but it’s never happened to me (thank god!) (I don’t think I’d beat the guy up, or assume ALL catcallers are like this, though)
I don’t think this is true. Yes, some people get bothered more than others, and I may be one of those women. But I don’t think I’m describing any bizarre phenomenon that only happens to me. Some people in this thread have been subjected to and/or have witnessed such behavior.
Story of my life until I moved up here. City life was stressful and it was all I could do to survive–fuck off with the “Smile!” shit. Up here it’s not that I’m happier, it’s that I’ll see all these people again somewhere around town so I better look vaguely friendly.
I didn’t mean to say that you are the single most harassed woman in the world.
Hey, it may be more unwanted attention for me because I *don’t like *when people holler at me. Some people, like Freudian, seem to think it’s “nice.”
You don’t think it’s bullying to scream obscenities at someone obviously weaker than you? What would you call it?
Also, what would you do if a random person, huge and unattractive to you, came up to you on an empty street and started telling you all the ways they wanted to fuck you? Would you find it fun? Flattering?
Once my best friend and I got catcalled when we were moving a bunch of stuff into her apartment, I was sort of annoyed mostly because her Mom was with us. So I handed the guys boxes and made them move all the heavy stuff for us…they did, too.
And I just wanted to add that I used to inspire lots of catcalls and sometimes I minded and sometimes I didn’t…a lot of it was in the tone.
Also while the catcallers were mostly men they weren’t all men…
Is MeanOldLady actually hot?
Since we’re in a catcalling thread, I won’t ask for photos… but inquiring minds want to know.
Yeah, I’ve heard white women worry that they were fat because black men dug them.
Wow. I guess you missed it so I’ll explain- it was intended as a humorous way of saying I find it amazing that there’s a place where mean old ladies get sexually harrassed all day, every day. Of all the women I’ve known, including friends, girlfriends, sisters, other female relatives, co-workers, fellow students, etc., I know none of them have been harrassed anywhere near as frequently as MOL claims. So where could such a place be where men can ogle and drool over women and basically act like neanderthals? A strip club, I guess.
So settle down, sugartits.
I know it’s not confined to strip clubs. I know it can, and does, happen anywhere. I wouldn’t have thought it could happen constantly from morning to night as a woman goes through her day, every day, to the point where she would find it justifiable to beat a guy to a bloody pulp for a wolf whistle, but if you say so, I guess it happens. It’s just completely contrary to the experience of every female acquaintance, but whatever you say.
It was a joke, so ha ha. Get a fucking sense of humor.
Well she talks about this issue in a lot of threads, so it must be something that happens to her often. Just something about the way she talks about her appearance tells me she probably is or maybe she’s able to carry herself as though she is, which is what makes people sexy to begin with and maybe that’s why she gets hit on all the time.
Anyway from her posting I would guess that it’s likely. I’ve guessed intimate details about people based on their posting style before so I put some stock in my intuition but you need not.
There’s cat calling and cat calling.
And most men other than myself are both bigger than me and way more loaded with testosterone than I’ve ever had to deal with so to speak. I dont assume they are all out to beat the shit out of me.
I’ve had guys I thought were gonna give me a pounding. No, I didnt like it. But by the same token, I don’t freak out every time some burly biker dude gives me a momentary evil eye either.
No.
Certain people seem to think my posts in this thread are saying that every time I put one foot out of my front door, whole armies of men clamor to the point that I can’t even move one inch without having to shove someone out of my face. What I am actually saying is that women -myself included, friends and siblings included, complete strangers who I’ve witness on the street included- are harassed, followed and demeaned by men in public, and it happens often enough that we’re beyond being merely tired of it all, and at times find ourselves mad as hell about it.
Also, hotness has nothing to do with it. Men who harass women on the street are dingleberries, and I’m pretty sure they harass all kinds of women with varying levels of physical attractiveness.
Quite possibly. To be perfectly honest, I can’t remember ever having catcalled anyone before, except out of the sunroof of a limo when I was wasted*, so I don’t really understand the psyche of the male catcaller any better than you do.
*wasted enough that the victim could quite easily have been a bearded man in a kilt.
You didn’t answer my question. What would you do? How would you feel?
There’s a line not to be crossed regarding free speech. “Hey baby” or a wolf whistle doesn’t cross that line. “I’m gonna fuck you good” does.
However reacting to either in a case where the blokes are on a crowded street or high up on a construction site or whatever and unable (and unwilling) to actually accost you, gives them the power over you, the extended middle finger means “ha! she took the bait, I’ll do THAT again, it amused me”.
Of course, if it’s midnight on a dark street and a carful of blokes is stalking you saying the same things, it’s a completely different matter, then it’s intimidation, which requires a completely different reaction.
Generally though it’s innocent free speech, in the case of my 2nd example, it isn’t, but a reaction of any kind in the first situation tells the men what they’re doing? Works.
But if something has been made clear it’s that you get harassed more than most women do. So it’s curious as to why certain women get singled out.
My wife is a pretty lady and she doesn’t get harassed like you describe. Her 1/5th referred to that ugly hissing noise the Dominicans make, not to being followed around.
I do know what you are talking about though because different women get hit on in the street at different ratios. I’ve seen it with women I’ve dated. My ex-wife it happened the most, my current wife it happens the least. A girlfriend I had who was basically a nymphomaniac, and I thought she was hot but wouldn’t call her a hottie generally got it a lot too, but she was more like Freudian Slit about it than like you. My ex-wife was vain enough that she probably would have freaked out and gotten depressed if one week it just had stopped.
How often does it need to happen before it becomes a problem?
Appropriately enough, I just got back from a stroll with my dog. I got two ‘whisperers’ (one 20-something black guy just saying hiiwanttomeetyou in a breathy voice – annoying but whenever – and one very preppy older white man complimenting my tits as if I’d asked him). I also watched as a 40-something white woman with a baby fought with a black teenage boy who’d clearly just said something sexual to her. He kept saying ‘I was talking about your baby! You’re ugly! No one would ever want to fuck you’ while his friends smirked. She challenged him to come to the other side of the fence and talk to her.
‘So you can hit me?’
‘Yes!’
She ended up walking off. I looked around for some cops but found none. Not sure what they even would have (could have) done. Anyway, while I do think street harassers are more blatant and brazen when it comes to ethnic minorities, this was a teen (or a group of teens) and an older mother, black and white. And yet the power still seemed to rest with him. You might ask how much power rests in the ability to yell slurs, but clearly he’d bothered her.
Anyway, I’ve seen worse and been on the receiving end of worse, but it was a lovely coincidence. Oh, and she was no supermodel. So maybe I made her up.
I get catcalled on a somewhat frequent basis. A few times a month probably (and followed down the street by some asshole 3 or 4 times a year) unless I take Creepy-Old-Guy into account. Then I get catcalled and harrassed every single day. He is about 70 and sits in a chair outside his apartment and yells things at me in spanish when I’m on my way home from work. After about 3 days I looked up what agarraderas meant and now I just want to punch the creepy old guy in the face. I won’t though because he is not of any danger to me, but the fact that he does this with a dozen young men around and basically leads them to believe by his example that this is okay behavior makes me feel like he could use a punching.
Again, no one is denying that it happens all the time. We’re curious about the frequency with which it occurs to individual women.
I think with MeanOldLady it’s a combo of her getting it more often and her caring more.
Let me take a poll of women in this thread.
- How often do you get any kind of catcall?
- How often does that catcall include profanity?
- How often does it result in confrontation/stalking?
Lets make the timeframe a month.