High school homecoming season is upon us and the youngsters are once again ornamenting themselves for display at the ritual of the homecoming dance. In my neck of the woods, for many of the young…um, ladies (is this the right term?) this means wearing the shortest skin-tight dress available. Bless their little hearts.
As a male parent observing all this, I am reminded of a minor curiosity that has always been unanswered for me regarding women’s fashion.
Logistically, it appears that when one is sitting down in one of these super short dresses/skirts, one is placing ones uncovered rump on whatever one is sitting on. And in these days of thong underwear and no hosiery, one is nearly bare down there. Is this essentially the case?
Don’t they do the swipe and sit to make sure the fabric is as flat as possible against the seat of the chair? It may not be much but any port in a storm.
I understand what you are describing, but these dresses are within fractions of an inch from their natural bum-crease while standing. I can’t understand mechanically how they would offer any coverage when sitting. Yes, yes, the fabric is stretchy - but it naturally wants to return to it’s un-stretched state!
A miniskirt doesn’t actually ride up in back very much when you sit, at least not enough to completely uncover your butt (if you’re careful: see below). Likewise, short-shorts don’t climb far enough up your butt to give you wedgies when you sit down. For that matter, panties don’t either. If the mere act of sitting caused barely-butt-covering fabrics to be exiled to the far north, all of us bikini-underpanted women would be giving ourselves wedgies with our underwear every time we sat.
So if there’s enough fabric in a mini to cover your buttcrack while standing, it will probably cover at least most of your buttcrack while sitting. Especially if you smooth down the back of the skirt before taking your seat as Inner Stickler mentioned, or alternatively lower yourself to the edge of the chair and scoot your butt backwards so that the skirt hem is pulled forward under your thighs as you sit.
I haven’t worn a miniskirt for nearly 30 years, and I don’t know if I’d ever have attempted to go out the door in the sort of ultrashort and ultratight ones that the girls are rocking nowadays, but I think I remember enough of the mechanics of it to be fairly sure that miniskirt + thong != planting your bare behind right on the chair seat. There’s some kind of minimal fabric barrier.
Believe it or not, the New York Times published an article on this very subject, although focusing more on subway sitting than prom dresses. All the news that’s fit to print!
Maybe. It always seemed like my art major friends were the ones who wear tights and thy always wear bright colors or patterns. I fully admit to not paying that close attention as a general rule.
TheKid and her friends wear Spanx or other almost short-like drawers under short dresses to keep from showing more than they should. Yes, some of her counterparts thong it, but those are the girls who just wearing underwear is an achievement.
Regarding comfort, that is a relative term. Some cannot tolerate a thong, whereas others are quite comfortable in one.
As for hygiene, why would it be unhygienic? You’re talking, at worst case, CHEEKS touching the seat, not genitals or anus. Cheeks touching the chair would be less unhygienic than hands touching it, which have been touching all manner of contaminated things.
THAT said, there are precisely three chances that our daughters would get out the door with such a skirt.
Slim, fat and none.
Of course, NOW, they’re grown. Complete with our eldest presenting us with our first grandchild.
I am a huge fan of the bandage dress for every occasion, but those are usually cut closer to mid-thigh.
In my very shortest and/or tightest skirts, as long as I give that little pull down before sitting, my private areas/buttcheeks are not making contact with seats. That would be really gross. Most of my thighs are, and that can be sticky and uncomfortable enough, on vinyl or plastic.
I don’t wear thongs, either - microfiber boyshorts are better in every way.
I for one couldn’t walk in something tight that only barely covered my ass - it would ride up to indecency within two steps. I assume this is a slight exaggeration.
Maybe skirts have attained an extreme shortness foreign to me, among the high school kids. I’m at least 10 years older than most of them.
I’d suggest the:
“I for one couldn’t walk in something tight that only barely covered my ass - it would ride up to indecency within two steps. I assume this is a slight exaggeration.”
AND the titillation aspect of teens…
PERSONALLY, I PREFER the abovementioned objectionable condition. In private, in our home, from my wife…
But, in PUBLIC, such is BEYOND objectionable.
Such things cause far more problems than they’re worth, due to the human male’s preference of substituting testosterone for a neurotransmitter (see my at home preference for an honest example).
The young seek their own identity of some sort. It is partially guided by society. It is more largely guided by the media, in our culture. It is less guided by familial guidance, as they are seeking their OWN identity.
That is true from “The Terrible Two’s” until FULL adulthood and in some cases, beyond.
In short, it’s called, growing up. Some parts are painful, some excruciating. Some parts, forgotten, in spite of important lessons, due to the pressure of adult life and limits on physical memory.
A parent GUIDES the adolescent and teen, to attempt to rule invites the gunpowder plot inside one’s home, though slightly LESS potentially explosively.
OR, one accepts the difference, fails to guide, fails to lead and expresses shock at the Columbine shooting of the week.
Ignoring the FACT that ADULTS can own and possess firearms, by LAW.
Ignoring the FACT that the law was ignored.
Disclaiming responsibility for ignoring said LAWS.
In short, parents not doing their damned jobs.
Spoken as a grandfather and before, as a father of grown children.
