Only reading materials reside on my toilet tank.
The Simpsons: A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family and a book called “Tricks of the Trade” that teaches you how do skate backwards, whistle through your fingers, tell a joke, tie a necktie and a few other vaguely useful skills.
Does it include a lesson in teaching women to make sure the toilet seat is down before they sit?
I think that’s the most overlooked skill in our educational system.
And don’t you start with me and say that men should put the seat down. I know where you live.
When I was 16, I visited my girlfriend’s house for the first time and met her family for the first time. Well, I had to do what comes naturally after sitting there and talking and drinking (soda’s) with the family for a good hour and half. I went to the little boy’s room and started to go about my business . . . Unzip, prepare, begin, SHOCKED, what do i see? On top of the toilet, a family picture. I was mystified. Not only was my 16 year old girlfriend starring at my man tool, but her mom and her little brother too. . .Ahh . . bad choice of decorative items . . .
Heh, my copy of Dave Barry’s Complete Guide To Guys fell in once. I bumped the pile of books with my elbow and it slid…had a real movie slo-mo “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”…sploosh! moment. Fortunately, the water was clean, I hadn’t done anything, so I fished it out and let it dry. I figured it was fitting, considering the book, for it to be baptized.
Y’know, I think I learn something new about you guys up there every day … Figurines and knick-knacks in the bog room. Who’d’ve thought?
When I was at the University of Minnesota for a year of grad school, I stayed with a female friend who lived alone and kept a really intricate, ‘busy’ poster of small cartoon cats (like 16 x 20) low down on the wall facing the, er, sitter…one of these, the more you look, the more you see sorts of things.
One of my undergraduate professors kept his Ph D diploma from Harvard (summa cum laude) over the tank so that he could look at it whilst expelling.
For a while, until I repainted the bathroom (deep, rich purple which is lovely dried, but looked like wet blood whilst still wet. I had to double check the chip to make sure I hadn’t accidently got Abbatoir Red from the local paint shop)), I had several framed Edwardian porn postcards over the tank at my partner’s eye level.
I have seen, for sale, a replacement tank lid with a planter built in. It was a self-watering planter, with wicks hanging down into the tank. I imagined users adding nitrogen to the soil.
I knock stuff over… I swear I don’t even HAVE to be in the SAME room! Its like a force field or something. And I have a bad clutter problem.
So anyway getting to the bathroom and yeah thats the issue getting in there. Over the piles of sorted laundry, shoes, cats, water bowl, dog thats going blind and is lost…
On the toilet at the moment is one sweatshirt, in case I get cold I don’t have to walk the extra 20 feet to the bedroom closet:D
one Jack Douglas book thatGMRyujn was nice enough to locate for me, a couple of CDs ( dont tell you all DONT listen to Jimmy Sommerville in the potty) and a roll of TP. All of which is subject to change due to
1 the whim of the owner of the object
2 the need to get into the tank
3 the hubbys tolerance for landslides:D
Gotta say a picture on the back of the pot would seriously creep me out!
My Mom had a plant hanging that you’d crack your head on if you stood straight up… I still lean to the left as I stand up and I have been out of there for 20 yrs! Talk about training…
At that age I think it is technically a boy tool.
See, and here I was half expecting a warning about quick tank top removal to prevent those overflow occasions.
Please consider–if it is a F & M household, 75% of activity at the potty will be (or should be) done in the seated position–which is why we women want that gosh darn thing down so at 2am so we don’t end up in the stupid toilet. I mean-you flush after you go-right?-so lower the seat at that time. It cannot be any simpler.
This is one thing that never bothered me. I always check first but I was trained to do so. I used to have a home-based daycare. Six little boys potty training at the same time tends to teach you to check the seat FIRST. After a few incidents I learned quickly.
Oh, and I don’t have anything on my toilet. I can’t stand those fuzzy covers so never have them. The only thing that might ever be put on the tank is an extra roll of toilet paper.
Since I have almost NO counter space in my bathroom, and the toilet’s right next to the shower AND sink (tiny bathroom), I have toothbrshes/pastes, perfume, and hair dye sitting on the back of the toilet. Nothing’s ever fallen in, or I wouldn’t put my TB up there, heh.
At a coffee house in Austin (Spider House), there’s a fucking CREEPY painting of a woman in the bathrooom. It looks like she has one lazy eye that’s staring at you while you pee, shudder I always have to try to ignore it while I’m in there.
But I looooove graffiti in a bathroom. Good reading material.
*shriek" The toilet paper lady! The toilet paper lady! shriek
Crocheted pink dress and bonnet… looked like Scarlett O’hara - I mean Pinklett O’Hara! Here eys would close if you tipped her back.
shriek
I had a housemate that used to turn my rubber ducky to face the wall when she took a bath or shower. She said he “leered” at her.
If you don’t enjoy being stared at by pictures of granny, then I would suggest that you steer well clear of the Tate Modern in London. Artist Monica Bonvicini has installed the world’s first transparent toilet cubicle :eek:
Not only that, but if the toilet stops working and you need to open the lid, you have to carefully displace dozens of useless trinkets first.
SO ANNOYING.
DONT DECORATE THE TOILET.
Yes… the toilet is already a work of art as it is.
The bathroom at my family’s home had a small closet, with an accordion-type plastic curtain which would often pop open. If it wasn’t open by itself, then a family member who went to retrieve a spare roll of TP would’ve forgotten to close it.
My mom used to keep her styrofoam wig stand in this bathroom closet. Then, my little sister got it into her head to decorate the wig form by drawing a realistic face on it. There I am, trying to take a piss with what looks like a glamorous decapitated head peeking out of the bathroom closet at me. <<shudder>>
Considering your alias, you may be correct about the usage % in your home, but the numbers don’t jive for a normal 1 man 1 woman household. Number 1 is much more frequent. Even numbers for both sexes…60% seated, max.
This drives me insane. You are basically saying that you cannot be troubled to do anything to the seat, while the man is supposed to raise and lower it. That is selfish, but selfishness is not my main problem with that attitude.
Here is a helpful health tip: flushing the toilet without closing the main lid is unsanitary. If your toothbrush is kept anywhere other than inside a medicine cabinet, then YUCK!!!
I always completely close the toilet before flushing…and leave it that way. That is the way a toilet is supposed to be. If I am expected to check the lid status when I go to use the toilet at 2am, then you better be damn sure that you are expected to do the same damn thing.
A live-in girlfriend actually yelled at me once for closing the lid proper. The unbridled nerve that took left me speechless.
I hope that live-in girlfriend is an EX. The nerve!
I see it this way, there are 5 primary reasons for keeping the lid closed when the toidy is not is use.
Keeps the peace. Both men and women are equally inconvenienced by needing to lift either the lid or the lid-and-seat.
You cannot accidentally drop something in the toilet. Eg/ you drop your toothbrush or expensive designer lipstick, it bounces off the sink and lands where? NOT in the toilet (phew!) because the lid was shut.
Aesthetics - I don’t like seeing the yawning bowl. The wood grain of the oak seat is much more pleasing.
Pets can’t drink out of it.
Yes, after reading Great Master Cecil’s column on the plume of spray from a toilet flush, anything other than a closed lid during the flush in question is just plain gross.