Stuff it. I went through all but the last 30 minutes of my third birth at home, mostly in a bathtub or otherwise in familiar surroundings and not being coerced by EVIL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS11!!11 at all, and it hurt like a motherfucker.
I’m not offended because you say that you experienced childbirth without pain. Good for you. You’re a very special snowflake. I’m offended because of your obnoxious attitude implying that the rest of us poor deluded losers who did experience pain only felt pain because we were “conditioned” to do so by society’s expectations. No, I felt pain because there was something the size of a watermelon coming out of my vagina, thank you very much.
Yes. Childbirth was a very strong, intense thing that my body was perfectly adapted to do. Painfully. It was awesome, I loved it, and the third kid came out sans drugs which is what I had wanted, and on top of all of that it hurt like a motherfucker. Not because society conditioned me, not because a doctor told me that it should, because IT HURT. I think that as a grown adult woman I can tell when my body is sending me pain signals, vs. when I am being oppressed by The Man.
Which is kind of telling other people that they shouldn’t feel it as pain, and it’s only because they have been ‘conditioned’ that they do.
As an alternate data point, I gave birth drug free in a hospital, but within a half hour of arriving there after labouring for 40 hours at home. The first 35 or so were periodically uncomfortable, but totally bearable. The last 5 or so before transition were really painful. The first active labour contraction bent me double in bed, and I swore, and said; “ah, so that’s what real labour is like”.
It was basically nothing I couldn’t handle; the moment at which I started to say I couldn’t do it any more coincided with the time I started to want to push - exactly as the Bradley Method book I had read suggested. But if someone had walked into my living room and offered me an epidural at that point, I may well have taken it! That was real pain - good pain, as it brought my daughter to me, but pain. Sorry.
On the subject of water births - sitting under the shower was one of the only things that got me though labour - the sensation and the warmth was fantastic, and I can really see the appeal of a birthing pool for next time.
I can’t even imagine why a woman would be remotely interested in it. What, the wonder of bringing your own new life into the world isn’t enough? Sometimes this notion (by some) that sex needs to keep going more and more off the beaten track in order to be fulfilling is just so…so…BRAINLESS or something,
When I hear things like this it makes feel sorry for people that they’ve lost that “zing” to the point where they feel they have to go further and further afield to get any sort of sexual pleasure.
Yeah, exactly. I hate this idea that pregnancy and childbirth are “natural” for a woman, and how her body is “designed.” Pregnancy is actually extremely trying on a woman’s body and can be very dangerous. Blood pressure frequently goes up, diabetes can develop, there are associated musculoskeletal problems, etc. Childbirth traditionally has had a significant mortality rate and to this day increases your risk for certain cancers (I believe cervical) and rectal/uterine prolapse, among other things. Also many women tear their perineums giving birth.
If you were a woman and you wanted to maintain ideal health, I’d imagine that along with not smoking, drinking in moderation, eating your veggies and exercising you should also avoid pregnancy.
Yes. The human body is not perfect - unlike other mammals, we have rigid pelvises (for bipedal walking) and our babies have much bigger heads.
Some people simply are naturally less likely to feel pain in childbirth. Broad hips, straightforward birth canal, whatever. They’re lucky. That doesn’t mean everyone else can be like them. Our eyes have evolved for us to see with, but that doesn’t mean everyone has perfect sight.
I usually have a very tolerance for pain - hell, one time a woman accidentally stamped on my foot and walked away with my big toenail attached to her stiletto heel, and I wasn’t in pain - but I had debilitating menstrual cramps as a teenager and labour was two days of hell. There is no way in hell that was down to conditioning.
TBH, I’d be a bit weirded out by associating my child’s birth with sexual pleasure. Orgasms are lovely, but they don’t have to be had everywhere - I wouldn’t want one in the middle of a job interview or exam either. Well, you know, depending on the type of job or class, I guess.
“Come” is a euphemism or synonym for female orgasm. “*I’m going to come *[have an orgasm]” It’s a shorten version of “come to” as in “I’m going to come to orgasm”.
“Cum” is a euphemism or synonym for male orgasm. “I’m going to cum [have an orgasm]”. However, it is also a euphemism or synonym for semen and/or sperm.
“Swallow my cum [sperm]!”
When I quoted my wife in the OP saying *“Screw THAT! The last thing I would have considered during labor was a come!” * it meant the same as if she said *“Screw THAT! The last thing I would have considered during labor was an orgasm!” *
These are not official terms, only the way we use them at Beitz stately Manor. A Beitz-to-English dictionary is no longer being published.
The only person saying this is you. IO never said anything about anyone else. She was stating her own experiences with pain and childbirth- experiences that are indeed subjective. If IO’s experiences make you feel inadequate, that’s nobody’s fault but your own.
I have some experience with this. For years I had terrible cramps- the kind that has you crying and balled up on the floor. Eventually I learned that the more I fought it, the more it hurt. I started to just let the pain kind of wash over me, observing it from a distance. The cramps still hurt, of course, but it’s not exactly pain. It is indeed more like a very strong unpleasant feeling. Maybe it’s a small difference, but it’s been enough of a difference that I no longer go home early from work when they start. It’s kind of like how when people acclimate to the cold- they are still cold, they still feel it is unpleasant, but they are no longer shivering and shaking.
Orgasmic childbirth sounds pretty strange to me, but the concept that there are different ways of managing pain in childbirth that may be appropriate for some women doesn’t seem that shocking.
I understand the problem is the drugs affecting the baby. Personally though I’ve always suspected that the baby would prefer to be drugged while being born if it could articulate itself that well.
Meh - sez you. I was induced and I can assure you that the ONLY way to describe the sensation was ‘pain’. There was something very, very wrong going on.
In fact, ‘pain’ doesn’t really do it justice. OMFGpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseMAKEITSTOP!!! is closer.
Further, it turns out that my poor little punkin’ was transverse so the ‘cascade of interventions’ that you were keen to avoid probably saved both of our lives.
I’m delighted that your birthing experience was positive. Mine was not and suggesting that I shouldn’t associate the whole thing with ‘pain’ is absurd.
Further, I suspect that some of the blow back you’re getting in this thread is due to the rather, um, smug tone of your first post. Like, ‘Oh if only these women were enlightened like me they would realize the miracle of birth!’ Gimmie a break - I already feel inadequate enough without types such as you dissing my birth experience.
And even sven, before you chime in here with a ‘cramps’ story, let me assure you that they are not even remotely the same thing and you’ll just make yourself look dumb.
OP, uh, yah - if it wasn’t obvious by now, there were no orgasims had in my Labour and Delivery room and the idea never even crossed my mind. I guess if you can get off during that, more power to you, but it wasn’t on the agenda for my birth experience.
I would assume it was done to help with the pain. I read on this very board that women are often invulnerable to pain right during an orgasm. Heck, I find that the endorphins help with my chronic pain.
Combine that with the people that for one reason or another choose “natural birth,” and it makes perfect sense to me.
Some people believe that pain medications affect the baby’s awareness and ability to nurse after birth; narcotics definitely do unless given a good chance to wear off before delivery, epidurals aren’t supposed to but many women believe they do anyway
If you have an epidural you can’t walk around and have to birth on your back, which is suboptimal. It lengthens labor and increases the chance of a c-section. Which is no walk in the park, either
If you can feel what’s going on during pushing, crowning, and delivery, you can pace yourself to decrease the possibility of tearing. If you can deliver without tearing, you’re in clover recovery-wise
Let us also not forget 4. You want to put that needle WHERE?!? :eek:
Every woman is different and every birth is different. For me, birth was quick enough, and not so painful, that an epidural would have been overkill. (And since I have mild scoliosis, it wouldn’t have been entirely risk-free for me, either.) Opiates and I don’t get along. You get the picture… Now, as I said, it was quick: five hours for each baby. If it had lasted five more hours I might have been singing an entirely different tune. But please don’t assume that everyone who went unmedicated was expecting a Mother Hero medal when it was all over. We’re different, just like the women who choose medication.
And to respond to the OP: an orgasm? I suppose it’s possible, but few things would have freaked me out more at that time…
Yes, all of the above, with a special focus on #2. Pain intervention (epidural or otherwise) is often the first to lead to a whole cascade of interventions which unfortunately lead to our current over 30% c-section rate. (Induced labors and external fetal monitors when they’re not warranted being my other two big bugaboos, for the same reason.)
And a note, call it 1B, that Demerol and Stadol simply don’t work well to control pain during labor, at least in my experience. Stadol made me very sleepy between contractions, but didn’t deaden the pain during them at all. I was simply dopey and in pain, not an ideal state for childbirth, and I’d fight like hell to avoid it again were I to have another baby (which I’m NOT!)
