(So, what is the best response to this ‘lets be friends’ statement from a woman? )-handy
“No problem. But as a favor between friends can we keep having sex while I look for a new girlfriend?”
- Charlie Tan
Charlie, what planet are you on? Most women will seek out an ex if he’s been a good friend after the break-up to talk, but I can’t think of one woman I know who’s gone back to her ex just for sex. OTOH, I know of scores of men who have gone back to their ex, faking a “let’s make up”, just to get a quick roll in the hay. I think it really depends on who broke up with who.
Hoe, sorry she’s hurt you. I think women somehow think that saying “let’s be friends” makes things easier, which it doesn’t; that somehow it will make the rejection less painful. I’ll agree with Gail. Make a clean break of things. It’ll be easier on both. If you guys were really great friends before you started dating, maybe some time in the future, that friendship could resume, but I think she’s imposed on it a little too much to expect that from you.
Carpe Diem!
I can think of one–I dated her for three years. She dumped me, but we had sex a few more time after we broke up, all at her request. And, frankly, as heartbroken as I was over the breakup, I wasn’t going to pass that up.
Generally, this means you have been dumped.
This is difficult for a guy to take, since it is almost impossible to imagine really liking a woman WITHOUT wanting to have sex with her. For that matter, it is difficult to imagine DISLIKING a woman without wanting to have sex with her.
I think for a woman it may be possible to like a man without wanting his body, so from her point of view it sounds plausible.
Note that it is quite easy for a man and a woman to be friends without having sex as long as they both know that the other person would really like to have sex but that there are extenuating circumstances, like a marriage or something.
Huh, I always heard it was an ingredient in the wedding cake, or that the wedding band cut the female’s “desire” nerve, or – oh, you meant married to a third party. Nevermind.
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
Most I heard that friends line was with women
aged 15-35.
But it’s been several days Hoe, so what happened?
Well, in my line of work you have to work late into the evenings. Especially when the premiere draws near. This means that during a two week period we only saw each other when I came late at nights. She just couldn’t take it. This happened three months ago and she’s been calling me lately.
I have to agree with Charlie. She came to visit the other day and we made love. And thats it. She came to me seeking sex. Allthough I didn’t mind, and probably would do it again.
My experience is that a guy will go to length to ensure the survival of the relationship, but a woman chickens out at the first bump.
Have you also noticed that a woman always tries to change her man?
[[My experience is that a guy will go to length to ensure the survival of the
relationship, but a woman chickens out at the first bump.
Have you also noticed that a woman always tries to change her man?]]
What I’ve noticed is that men and women like to generalize their personal experiences to the world at large.
My personal experience is that women constantly adjust their own behavior to make relationships function more smoothly–not just sexual/romantics ones, but also friendships, business relationships, etc. They just don’t make a lot of noise about it. On the other hand, when a woman does make a demand for some kind of sacrifice from a man she is trying to “change him.” This is a terrible thing, of course, as all men are just perfect the way they are.
I read this magazine article (I was waiting, OK?) where this woman wanted her men to learn a simple sign language, so they could easily communicate their basic needs to her (all men’s needs are basic).
Isn’t anybody going to quote Paul Simon (who?)…you know…just slip out the back Jack, get a new key Lee, etc etc.
>>I can’t think of one woman I know who’s gone back to her ex just for sex.<<
Uh, ::cough:: …
–Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny
I’m sorry if I’m generalizing. I love women. I think women are the most beautiful thing this planet has to offer. As much as women are wonderful they are equally cruel.
Maybe that’s what makes the so loveable.
(I’m generalizing again, stop it…)
-PL
[qutoe]Uh, ::cough:: …
[/quote]
Rowan
Whoops! Sounds like I have to take that back! Geez, I’ve got to stop reading all those romance novels! 
Carpe Diem!
I can’t speak for all women, but when I said, “Can’t we be friends?” what I really meant was, “Can I be assured that you won’t talk shit about me behind my back and ruin my chances of getting with anyone else?”
Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green
Sunbear: “I read this magazine article (I was waiting, OK?) where this woman wanted her men to learn a simple sign language, so they could easily communicate their basic needs to
her (all men’s needs are basic).”
There is such a simple language, its called “English” (insert appropriate language here); however in my experience using it for “simple” or “straight forward” communication on issues like this is a totally different kettle of fish. However if anybody knows of this new language that would enable me to communicate my basic needs in a straightforward manner without getting slapped please please let me know, its beggining to sting.
It only hurts when I laugh.
Esperanto, Moonshine, Esperanto.
I think it sucks when two people can’t manage to maintain any sort of a friendship after the romance/sex/etc. is over. After all, if it was any sort of a relationship at all, one would think that the people would still get along, laugh about the same things that they laughed about before, enjoy each other’s company for the same reasons that they did before, and so on. I know that many people just can’t bring themselves to be comfortable in a platonic relationship with a person that they’ve been intimate with after the intimacy is finished, but personally, I just can’t forget about the times “we” spent talking about this, or giggling about that, or the things that attracted me to (BLANK) in the first place, the things that made me want to have a relationship with him. Love, if it’s real, and whether or not it turns into and continues to be something romantic, should not be based on whether or not you’re having sex with someone. If you really love someone, you’ll love them even after the sex is over with, and you’ll still love being with them, even if it hurts to think about the fact that you used to be “in” love. You’ll get over it. I firmly believe that everyone should remain friends with their ex-lovers. (Unless you have an ex who just generally treated you like a walking pile of shit…in that case, to hell with them.) 
I think one reason why some women say the dreaded “We can always be friends…” is so that she can keep the guy on a friendly basis incase she needs some heavy furniture moved. I have witnessed this with hubby and his former girlfriends on countless occassions. The problem that ticks me off is that when we ask for a favor, suddenly everyone is busy. (Everyone disappeared when we painted the entire interior of our house except two friends.) I’ve learned that if he asks me if it’s ok to help so and so move/fix something on such and such a day, to ask for the payback then an there. It’s amazing how many people suddenly say…" We may or may not need you for this, I’ll let you know." and they never call back. This is just my armchair quarterback prognosis.
Guys are also kept around for getting things off tall shelves too. More seriously, I think many people don’t stay friends with their ex’s simply because friendship wasn’t what brought them together in the first place; there are plenty of other reasons to get together, and that’s not even including physical reasons. The other thing is that as a guy, if you get dumped you don’t neccessarily want to hang around and be confronted with your failure everytime you meet up with your ex, or even worse, be told about how things are going with her “new man”. Wow, am I getting cynical in my old age or what!
It only hurts when I laugh.