Okay, so I met a really amazing peace officer tonight. I stopped in to a new sushi place in Oakland on my way home from work; I wanted to treat the housemates to a little sashimi-toting love.
When I got there, there were about a dozen cops in there, having dinner. By the time I left, there were at least a half dozen more. One of them opened the door for me as I left with my to-go bags, and we chatted for a moment. He asked my name, and I introduced myself & shook his hand, and he said, “You’re kind. I can tell.” No, not as a pretense of any kind; it was more like a good-spooky thing. Anyway.
I am wondering what it is like to be a good-hearted and ethical individual who has chosen to become a police officer; particularly in a major urban area. How does it affect you, to have so much of your human interaction be the unnatural abstraction that cop/civilian interactions can be? In other words, what does it do to your head to have most people afraid of you in varying degrees? How does it affect you emotionally when to trust others can literally put your life at risk? Is it lonely? Do you ever feel like you’re sick of taking folks in for a law you personally disagree with, or one you find a bit pointless in the grand scheme of things? How do you feel when a cop in your town does something really awful, and then you have to go out on the same streets and face the people and their feelings about it?
Police officers, please feel free to talk about anything of this nature if you want to. I am really interested.
Though it would seem like police work would attract one type of personality, there are actually a wide range of personalities, attitudes, and temperaments on the force, even after years on the job. One factor that might affect the adversarial feeling, the us-vs-them or social isolation is the nature of the community in which one works. I’ve been in areas and/or worked for departments where I might make one arrest in a month; I’ve been in others where I would routinely make 3-4 arrests a day. After a while, the environment affects how you see yourself, and how you assume the community sees you (“serving the community” vs “enforcing the law”).
I believe it was the author Joseph Wambaugh that wrote in one of his books that a police officer needs common sense, a sense of compassion, and a sense of humor. If he/she loses any of the three, they are ineffective…or dead.
I know one guy who would fit your description, he worked for California Highway Patrol in Los Angeles. He HATED it, and is now far more content working for one of the Sherrifs departments in the SoCal area. He worked with me as an EMT and CHP is all about writing tickets. The regular cops occasionally get a victim of whatever situation they intervene on saying thank you, CHP…not so much.
Most cops IME are very much regular people with homes, lives, families, etc that share the unpredictable schedules of many people in EMS feilds. They don’t wander around off duty with their ticket books citing friends and neighbors for tearing the tags off their matresses or having a fence that is 2" too high for building code.
I do also think it depends on where you work. I started off in a really really violent place so pretty quickly i learned how to assess people and to make quick decisions. I have steadfastly refuse to become like some of my co-workers… its not us against the world. and I constantly remind my friends that this isn’t a draft… we signed up for it.
I was however thrilled when my son told me under no circumstances did he want to follow me into the profession. My father was a cop… brother… sister. I’m pleased that that line will end with me. Its simply not the same job anymore.
Also I’d be lying if I said it didn’t have an effect on me. You can’t stand over so many people shot dead and not have to play games to manipulate your psyche. And you are privy to things people do to one another… Law and Order… i like it… but rarely do people kill for any interesting reasons… (summer of 1999… one brother killed another of the last piece of barbecue chicken… )
I love my job… truly do… and I guess it’s because I like people. But I always tell the rookies if you want to be loved be a fireman… our fan club stops at the age of 9 and picks up again after the age of 65…