Wonko's Adventure in the Freaky-Ass® NJ Pine Barrens

So I got a nice new not-shiny at all tire for my motorbike today, and decided that it would be a Good Idea to try it out by zipping around in the NJ Pine Barrens. So, I went cruising down south (geographically, you perv!!!) and picked a dirt road that I’ve ridden down before, and know a little bit. I’ve got my GPS, and a kit of emergency items with me, so I figure I’m set. I went riding with my nice new knobby tire, flinging dirt, sand and mud all over the pine barrens. I saw a cute deer, some rodent things in Tom’s River (at Hooper U), and some snake tracks (I think). I also saw a Box Turtle, that was rather concerned by my presence- he had the most beautiful shell, with really cool patterns of brown and yellow, with a surprising sheen on it’s shell. I put Mr Turtle on the side of the trail, and carried on with my trek. I found puddles full of water striders and polliwogs, and the mosquitoes found me… often. I was riding along, getting more comfortable with riding through water, mud, and loose sugar sand, and I found… The Puddle

You see, when you go trail riding, and you find a big nasty puddle, there often is a small trail going around the puddle, or a small trail avoiding the puddle, with a demi-puddle in residence. This Killer Puddle, had two trails going “around” it, and I picked the wrong one. My legs were submerged to mid-thigh, and then I dumped the bike, because of the unseen ruts in the “road” under the vicious puddle of doom. My bike sucked in so much water that it died. I was two miles from anywhere with a phone, and the sun was beginning to set. I got my NX-650 out of the puddle, amongst much panting, sweating and grunting (It’s a heavy bike, you perv!!), and completely failed to start the thing. I removed the airbox cover, and a bunch of muddy water came out. It still wouldn’t start. I did hear water gurgling, so I removed the spark plug, and muddy water came out of the plug hole when I cranked the engine. The bike still wouldn’t start. I ended up walking through the pine barrens -in the dark- all the way to Warren Grove. Fortunately, I had my GPS, so I marked the location of my bike, and started walking.

The Pines at night have five things:

  1. Bugs
  2. Bugs that fly around, make weird noises, and don’t look like any bug that you’ve ever seen anywhere. Ever.
  3. Bugs that want your blood.
  4. Really weird creepy noises from animals that I’ve never heard before.
  5. The Jersey Devil, and Rodents of Unusual Size.

After walking through the these weird danger for two hours, I finally made it out of the woods, and found some nice guys who got my bike started, and helped me fix it. I never saw so much water and steam fly out of a motor vehicle before!!! It was cool.

The guys who helped me out run a website that specializes in TikiBars, Tiki Sculpture, and Animals sculpted out of wood with a chainsaw, so I may be buying a cool tiki soon. He makes sculptures out of wood with a chainsaw, and now… I want one.

That’s about it.
So far I’ve only found one tick on me.

Anyone else have some exciting adventures this weekend??

I may go for a walk on Sea Bright Beach later but that’s about it :smiley:

Does dealing w/kids all weekend count as an adventure?

I went over to pick up a print at the framers’s at 10:15, because they said they opened at 10 when I talked to them on the phone the other day (after I’d gone over and there was no one there and I couldn’t roust someone to wait on me and I left a snippy note) but there was no one there at 10:15 so I was pretty pissed off but went over to Target, which wasn’t on my to-do list yesterday but I hadn’t gone on my way home the night before, so it was on my general to-do list, and I found box fans for $13 (the one that’s only 15 years up and died on me, while the one that’s 20 years old, though lacking a knob, keeps moving the air around), so I bought two, plus a really cool aluminum vase and a 12-pack of Diet Dr Pepper, so that saved me from paying $20 for a box fan at the grocery store, and could have saved me a trip to the grocery store except I also wanted bagels, and even if Target sells bagels, I’m not going to buy them there, and then went I got back to the framers at 10:45, someone was there and I got my print and it looks great, now all I have to do is decide where to put it, and then I stopped at the grocery store too.

So, in answer to the OP – no.

I fed the ducks on the MSU campus with friends yesterday, and then went to a cool new Japanese restaurant downtown and ate sushi for the first time - yum!

But I didn’t have any opportunity to sight a “Michigan Devil” or anything, so I guess my trek wasn’t as exciting as yours, Wonko. :slight_smile:

Tsarina- you probably aren’t itching like a MoFo either, so I figure it’s a good trade off. Happy first sushi Tsarina!