Okay, let me start off by describing my neighborhood. It is well-planted, with many trees and bushes. In fact, get on a high hill and you will see only treetops. The tops of the houses are not visible. Our town is covered in trees, effectively making it a forest.
Every day I go outside and scan the trees around my house and my neighbors’ houses. I derive great enjoyment in observing the warblers migrate through our trees in spring and fall. I follow the Gray Catbirds as they spring through the bushes from yard to yard. I laugh at juvenile Gray Squirrels falling tens of feet to the ground. I am happy.
One of the neighboring yards is particularly well-planted. It has a row of bushes where the Gray Catbirds and Cardinals live. It also has several very tall trees where the Flickers, Red-bellied Woodpeckers, and even Great Crested Flycatchers frequent. These trees also provide shade in the summer and keep snow off the ground in winter. This yard is perhaps the best of them all.
But the neighbor who owns this property apparently is not happy. He thinks he should get less shade on his yard so grass can grow better. So he takes out his chain saw and cuts down four trees and three bushes. Two of these trees are justified on being removed to get less shade. But the other two trees do not cast shade on his lawn for more than three to four hours a day. None of the bushes cast shade on his yard at all. But I guess he didn’t have the precious time to notice how the shadows fell. I’m sure his weak brain did not have the capacity to realize that shadows are longer in the morning and evening when he checked. And his meager intellect could not be expected to grasp the concept that grass does not require sunlight from sunrise to sunset without interruption.
I’m certain the jackass could not assemble his vacuous thoughts so as to form the conception to use a grass that can tolerate shade well. Did it ever cross his degenerate mind that there is a row of dense shrubbery blocking the view to the area of the yard he is trying to improve the grass in? Does he not realize that trees and bushes are infinitely easier to maintain than a lawn? It it beyond the abilities of his dimwitted brain to think of alternatives to spoiling the beauty of the neighborhood?
Maybe instead of corrupting the organic theme of the block, this fatuously half-witted cretin should have packed his bags and left. I, for one, would rather live in proximity to an empty house with an ugly “For Sale” sign than a hideous abomination like the idiotic simpleton created. Then again, I suppose he could not sell it; after all, who would buy a house from a witless moron?
