It took me a while to get, but that’s funny!
Darn scams… always dangling a carrot in front of you. 
Well, for heaven’s sake, don’t try using it outdoors unless it’s a cloudy day…
Nah, that’s seafood. That’s treyf. 
Tee hee.
Interesting point I thought of the other day. I read a story in the Los Angeles Times that told of an appeals court decision about conspiracy. It seems that The Man[sup]TM[/sup] foiled some kind of drug smuggling operation involving driving a car full of drugs into Utah, and transferring the car to some other smugglers. The drugs were confiscated, and the car was brought to Utah, to try to snag the bad guys at that end. In Utah, the caar arrives, two guys try to receive it, and they get arrested and charged with conspiracy to smuggle drugs, or some such thing. They get convicted, and at their appeal, the defense raises the fact that since there were no drugs in the car, the defendants couldn’t have committed a crime (since you can’t conspire to smuggle drugs that don’t exist). The Appeals court agreed with the prosecution, who said that if you believe the drugs exist, you’re still guilty of conspiracy to violate anti-drug-smuggliing laws.
So I wonder if anyone who gets suckered into the Nigerian scam could be successfully prosecuted for conspiracy to violate whatever laws would need to be violated if it wasn’t a scam.
A suspense account is an account where money sits until it can be disbursed properly. For example, you and your landlord have a disagreement about who’s responsibility a certain repair is, and you threaten to withhold rent payments until it is worked out. Rather than just not pay, you would open an account into which you would apply funds until the dipute is settled. This is basically a suspense account.
We use suspense accounts to hold questionable funds on the advice of OFAC (Office of Foreign Assets Control). If someone sends a wire with a reference to, say, Castro, we put it into a suspense account until we can establish with certainty that the wire is not intended for Fidel Castro.
And I’ll make sure the supermodels don’t work too hard on the Sabbath.
When you’re as rich as we’re all going to be, all your problems go away!
I checked my bank account. Still sitting at $-254.13. I guess the wire transfer hasn’t come in yet. I’ll buy a new Jag on credit!
In
please replace the word fact with the word argument
I was finally sent one of these sure-fire business deals, and this is the total of it:
I don’t even know what this means, though it seems I’m not worth a dollar figure or a good back story.
This really makes me angry.
Will y’all hire me to drive you shiny new limos?
Well, we live and we learn, don’t we?
I don’t want to hijack this thread (such as it is), but I probably would have called something like that an escrow account.
No Nigerians ever offer me money. All I get are magic penis enlarging schemes. (I mean, talk about coals to Newcastle … )
You think you’re lucky? I got one of those from George HW Bush’s lawyer. The lawyer was telling me that there’s all this oil money in Iraq that he wants to get out before his son bombs the place into a smooth glass plain. And the lawyer’s surname was the same as mine! What a coincidence! That makes me 100% more inclined to take him up on his offer.
Hey jjimm, me too!
Gary Kumquat, that was brilliant!
In relation to the Nigerian deal, a suspense account refers to the suspense involved over how long it’ll take the scam artists to drain your account once you turn over the account info.
Yeah, but did yours come with a free RC Mini Car?
I DIDN’T THINK SO!
Yeah, iampunha, we’re all jealous because we’re all stuck with these big ones, while yours is really tiny.
I missed a great opportunity with this scam. I was working for an idiot, and he got the paper version in his mail one day. He asked me what I thought about it.
I told him it was a scam, and how it worked. He didn’t know if he believed me or not. I pulled some newspaper articles off the computer and gave them to him. He read them, and then asked me if I was really sure it was a scam.
If I had it to do over again, I’d be telling you all about the meeting where I explained that I’d handed over the good faith money and we should be hearing from the General any day now, and the meeting after that where I “discovered” that he’d been ripped off. I’d be typing it on a much nicer computer, too.
Stupid morals.
Keep your millions. It all sounds way too complicated and suspicious.
I’m getting a free holiday, personal email from a young female who wants to show me, alone, her photographs, eight amazing deals on a Read-Write DVD, more radio controlled cars than there’s bandwidth for, a great deal on refillable printer cartridges, a fortune from this amazingly clever scheme that involves sending envelopes of cash to strangers, tons of free electrical goods from eBay and millions of just-verified genuine email addresses! My web site is also really popular with unidentified surfers who are crying out for it to be listed in a red-hot web directory, I only need to send them all my details.
If I didn’t have email I would never have known what a lucky guy I am! Thank goodness I had that bout of total amnesia and subscribed to all those opt-in, not spam, cross our hearts and hope to die, lists.
I’ve never gotten one of those. I’m kind of insulted the Nigerians don’t think I’m worth stealing from.