Fucking Word. I understand that I use more complicated functions than simply cut-paste-footnote etc, but does this mean I am destined to spend the rest of my document-assembling life in a Word-created hell?
I’ve spent the last hour trying to cut and paste a document which contains (gasp!) a table. That’s all. Cut, paste. How hard is that? Now, I already knew that Micro-Fucking-Soft Word doesn’t like it when you try to do that, and I should have learned my lesson.
(Silly cowgirl. Word knows everything. Once you’ve made a table, you shouldn’t try to edit it. Just because it’s MY FUCKING DOCUMENT doesn’t mean I should have any control over how it looks, right?)
Ironic since this morning, in a more cool-headed state, I offered advice on outsmarting this FUCKING word program in someone else’s ‘Why is this program so stupid’ rant. And now that same program has driven me, who is usually so cool-headed about computers, around the bend.
[slightly technical ranting, probably not interesting]
Yes I use section breaks. I’m sorry. Does this mean I can’t also use tables? Why is it that when I paste a table into another document, it inserts section breaks where I don’t want them and deletes them when I do (thus fucking up my footers and page numbers)? Why, O Why, did you REFORMAT my table, so the table runs off the left of the page, and the title for the next page appears, squished up, to the right of the table? Do you think that’s how I WANT it to look? Why is the next page (the same table) formatted completely differently, but also WRONG? Why must you do this to me? Why is there an extra page at the end, in ‘Landscape’ instead of ‘Portrait,’ that I can’t get rid of without messing up the rest of it?
[/slightly technical ranting over]
I know, last year, you tried to screw me over with tables, on another document, in another job. I outsmarted you then and did what I wanted to, despite your most valiant efforts to prevent me. It took me two days of fretting but I finally did it. Do you hold this against me? Do you want me to spend two MORE days of fretting? Why can’t we be friends?
It’s now 5:30, I’ve spent an extra hour at work fighting with this fucking thing, and it’s now so unrecognizable that all I can do is erase the whole thing and start over. I should be home by now.
I will have nightmares about coming in tomorrow to face it.
Moral: NEVER EVER use tables in a word document (if you are using things like headers/footers, section breaks, titles, margins, text, cut and paste, indents … etc), no matter how flashy you think they look.
Phew. I feel slightly better. Thanks for listening.
… i’ll be back tomorrow with updates in the cowgirl vs Word saga. Unless I’ve killed myself - or my computer.