As inspired by the “items found at truck stops” thread, and about ten hours on the Interstate, I found that there’s certain keywords that almost always indicate a lodging establishment is going to be spartan at best.
Budget
Value
America, America’s, American, etc.
Host
Super
Deluxe
any number (if it’s not “6” or “8”, it’s going to be really low-end; e.g. “Value 5” or “Budget 7”.)
If you’re referring to the Radisson New Orleans Airport, which is in Kenner, 20 miles from New Orleans, you should’ve been clued in by the word “AIRPORT”, which is my submission for this thread.
(The only Radisson in New Orleans didn’t make it through Hurricane Katrina, which is unfortunate because it was an old historic hotel and was very nice.)
I don’t know if they do this in real life (never been to any motel/hotel I’d call really bad yet), but in shows like the Simpsons they’d give their hotels names like “E-Z Sleep” or “Slee-Z Motel”, so maybe “If the hotel/motel name is spelled in text-speak, you know it’s a bad hotel”
Not entirely pertinent to the thread, but when we first moved to Madison, there was a motel I was a little worried about. We had driven by it a few times, but only at night and the lighted sign announced: MOTEL MAY LOWER. I finally saw the F when we drove by during the day.
Which, after a few more hours on the road, reminded me to add:
Sleep
Rest
Relax
On a sign, AMERICAN OWNED is usually a bad indicator. It’s usually an indicator of a fairly basic independent motel that isn’t owned by Patels. Appeals to racism make me think “what kind of folks would stay there?”
Not too far from me is a motel that has its name on a sign visible only to northbound traffic.
Approaching from the southbound side of the highway it appears to be called the
Albuquerque’s “American Inn” and “Express” Motel have been demolished after turning into drug dens where the occasional bizarre murder or suicide took place.
A “Super 6” got locked up after inspectors found numerous meth labs along with faulty gas and electric connections–the sort of thing which could have led to the place being renamed the Sky High Motel (with the slogan “You’ll have a blast!”).
Have pretentious-sounding names…like the “Beverly Hills Arms” or the “Planatation Resort”. You usually have a dirty little swimming pool (with algae scum), and a ratty shuffleboard court as well.
Avoid any establishment that calls itself the “Bates Motel”!