I can’t put this in the Pit because I don’t have the vitrol for it, but this is my rant against advertisers who need to pick up a thesaurus and learn a few synonyms. The following are words that I will ban from use in commercials when I become King of the Universe.
Decadent - Just about anything with chocolate is being described as “decadent” lately. Fiber bars, pudding cups, even chocolate milk. Jello Mousse cups may be tasty, but I really don’t see them as providing unrestrained gratification.
Value - This is one that’s bothered me for a while. It’s in virtually every car commercial in huge bolded font flying across the screen along with “safety” and “style”, usually with the implication that this make of car is the only one that has any of the above. Sorry, but to most people, a care is a car is a car, just with varying degrees of options and price (although I’d never be caught dead in a Smart car. Those things look retarded).
I’m sure I’ll come up with a few later, but these two in particular have been grating against me for some time. Anyone else got a few?
“As much as”, as in “You could save as much as $400 on your car insurance” which is really pretty meaningless, as most people won’t save that much. You might as well say “You could save no more than $400” and it would mean the same thing.
Not so much a word, but a style of commercial that is currently in vogue that drives me crazy:
White woman: “Nearly 200,000”
Hispanic teen: “New cases”
Asian middle-aged man: “Of invasive breast cancer”
White elderly woman: “Will occur among women”
Young adult African American woman: “In the United States”
Asian middle-aged woman: “This year.”
Note to ad (wo)men: it is no longer cutting edge, it is no longer original, and it is no longer clever.
SO STOP IT ALREADY!
mmm
An estimated 192,370 new cases of invasive breast cancer will occur among women in the United States during 2009.
If it takes longer to list the possible - life altering or potentially life ending - side affects of the medicine you’re hawking than it does to describe the benefit, perhaps you need to rethink your marketing strategy.
“give you erections when you need it most - please ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough to have sex” - hmmm, I asked him for the pill, maybe he should offer up “oh yeah, take this and you’ll be dead before you finish” without me having to ask -
Oh yeah, since all of these meds are prescribed that you’re advertising - perhaps my doctor should already know the list of meds I’m on, or atleast be privvy to that info without me having to bring it up?
Actually, they have two options. First, they can not mention what it is the drug is supposed to do. If they go that direction, they DON’T have to list the side-effects. Second, they can mention what the drug is supposed to do, but if they do that, they have to mention the side-effects.
I’ve seen both types of ad. The Claritin commercials (way back when it was still a prescription drug) used to be full of Wonderland-like rainbows and giant flowers and puppy dogs, without ever saying what Claritin did. I can remember watching the ads and thinking to myself, “But WHAT’S IT FOR?!”
For me, well, there’s a lot of things I don’t want to see in commercials, such as people acting like morons, but sticking to words, I hate it when people aren’t specific. One offender is that stupid Restasis
Lady: OK doctor, here’s the thing. I’ve been using these over-the-counter eye drops several times a day.
Doctor: For how long.
Lady: For quiet some time.
Wow, that’s really informative. If I tried that with my doctor he’d be pressing me to be more specific. It makes me appreciate the Consolidated Credit commercials just because they give you specific numbers to work with.
Not just “decadent,” but “sinful.” Even when I was religious, I never for a moment believed that food is in any way a sin. I still boycott products that advertise themselves that way.