Can we start a club? When I started here I was disgusted by the rumors flying around (even about me! And I’m the token “nice guy”). And every time I went out for a beer after work with even the sweetest coworker, I was treated to long, vicious diatribes about other “sweet” coworkers.
So I backed off, and now I have no close friends at work, but no drama, either.
I answered “female” and let me be clear, my definition of “backstabbing” never involves doing something for yourself, but intentionally fouling another player in order to makle them look bad. Here’s an example.
Years ago when I worked for the late, lamented, Borders, I was in the marketing group and, in order to complete certain projects for Merchandising, I needed them to give me certain information that was in their sole possession. One of the merch staff I worked with would consistently withhold [information] from me, and then report me to management when I failed to produce [project] on schedule for them. Luckily, I was way too smart for that bitch and made all of my numerous (sometimes daily) requests for [information] in writing, and communicated with my managers about the problem.
Why would someone sabotage a coworker that they only know incidentally and is in no competition for their job? Honestly, I have no idea, but I’ve only ever seen women do it.
Yeah, but why would we want to join a club that would accept the likes of us…? 
(with appologies to Graucho)
Like Nava said, I think it depends on the type of workplace, and maybe on the type of work.
I’ve worked pretty much exclusively in engineering groups, and it’s been my experience that the guys do most of the bitching (and there’s a lot of bitching), while the women are generally pretty gung-ho, and I’ve almost never seen any backstabbing within an engineering team by either. The picture is different in other groups, though, from what I’ve seen in my interactions with them. HR seems to run to women who will stab you in the back with a smile and a saccharine platitude and guys who are just punching the clock. Sales is full of bitchy, backstabbing men, while the women–though just as predatory as the men–seem less inclined to screw over each other or other departments.
That’s all within the company I currently work for; the patterns were similar at a previous company, but it was much more male-dominated and had a very different market, both of which make a comparison difficult.
I voted other. I’m a guy, and while I think in my office it’s probably males, I am obviously not privy to the behavior of women in women-only groups.
The hockey player?
That’s been my experience working in offices, too - why women would go out of their way to sabotage other people and make everything more difficult for everyone, I don’t know, but that’s who I’ve seen doing it. If I had my preference, I’d take an office full of men over women every time.
What about that female boss from hell that you had?
I work with about 80 men and 2 women. 98% of the office drama originates or at least passes through one of the women. I think this woman might be a special case, though. She seems to need social conflict to stay alive.
Men, at least in corporate world. OTOH, they don’t get as personal about it.
Same here. There’s a new guy that keeps on asking me to go out for lunch with him. I keep on making excuses, I brought a lunch, too early for me etc. Now he’s ask me to hang out with him after work. He’s a nice guy we chat at work, share a lot of common interests. But I have a policy: I don’t hang out, date, or party with people I work with.
Almost all of the nasty comments come from women where I work, where they try to engage me into some sort of shit-slinging fest regarding another person. I just change the subject right away, it makes it uncomfortable for a second or two but they realize I’m not interested in petty office bullshit. I have hobbies and friends outside of work so leave me out of it.
I work in a female-dominated place, so I’ve mostly seen and experienced it from women. There are men who do it, though. I would give examples, but I am currently in a workplace situation in which backstabbing and bitching is included, and I really don’t want to go into details, other than to say I’m no longer directly involved.
Now if you asked who gossips more in the workplace, I would definitely said men!
I dunno, I’ve seen it from both sides. I’m now working with my third Credit Thief in less than 20 years. I’ve been backstabbed by both men and women and watched both do it to others, although the Drama quotient is definitely higher when women are involved.
A compairson between the anonymised poll results, and what people are claiming, shows both just how relevant the emperor having no clothes story is, not to mention how important having anonymous voting is for any kind of voting thing.
With no comment whatsoever upon the validity of any position, it’s very clear indeed almost everyone from either sex thinks it’s women, even if they don’t have the gumption to say it.
I’ve seen both genders backstab and bitch, and I have seen a bit more from females than males. Now that I’m a whole lot closer to the end of my career than the beginning, my advice to any young person is don’t trust anybody. Office politics is a blood sport- the person you hire today could very well steal your promotion tomorrow.
Well, it’s clear that YOU think it’s women, anyhow.
Well one, the poll questions lumps bitching and backstabbing together, when two, more than one respondent in the poll has mentioned there are gender differences between the two, but three, moreover, thus is just another SDMB thread which is another excuse for butthurt dudes to whine about what’s wrong with women. But fourthover (pretend that’s a word), I’ve failed by responding your bullshit, so I’ll hang my head and bow out now.
So on that note, a bottle of Jamo calls my name. clink
Really? How do you get that out of a thread title that asks you to pick between equal options? The poll question is in no way biased.