Holy hell, there are Dopers with children younger than this thread. And it’s not a zombie or nuthin’!
Today’s our potluck. Let’s see if my short-handed and seriously behind team can get a lick of work done.
Okay, I have to get this out or else my head is going to explode. For anyone who has actually read this entire thread, you may remember I bitched earlier about an annoying coworker who can’t seem to manage to find a shirt that covers her stomach. Very fucking annoying. This same coworker eats the same smelly(!) meal every fucking day, and daily odor has led to me forever being turned off by the dish of her choice.
She is also annoying in several other ways.
[ul]
[li]Not only is her stomach routinely exposed, I swear she’s doing it on purpose, or else why would she deliberately lean back and stretch in her chair which results in her flesh being exposed even more?[/li][li]She stomps when she walks. Really. The items on my desk rattle when she walks by.[/li][li]She clears her throat for a good 35% of the day. Maybe she needs to see a doctor?[/li][li]When she’s not clearing her throat, she’s sighing heavily. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to listen to “Ahm… Ahem… Bhrrrm… Sigh… Ahem… Sigh… SIGH!!!.. Ack… Ahmm!” all day long? Thank the lords above and below for earphones.[/li][li]Her posture could use some work. Okay, so could mine, but I don’t otherwise annoy myself, so it’s forgiven.[/ul][/li]
There. It needed to be said.
Is MeanOldLady in a cube farm with a Spoo rancher?
Had to Google “spoo.” Heh. While I don’t work in a cube farm, the person near me seems to fit the definition of spoo (mealy, white, slow-moving, lots of loud sighing) but isn’t the rancher. I suppose the boss is the rancher and I just got lucky to be here.
I did, too. (Have to Google it, that is.) Linkyfor those who were clueless.
Made it through another week. Jesus. Well, it’s wasn’t as bad as all that. I enjoy my job when it’s just Good Boss and me. Almost three whole days without Bad Boss. Heaven. But Bad Boss was back in the office today and the entire tenor of the office changes. Horrible.
I hate to post this, but I do have to say something in SG’s defense. I don’t think that he is digging his dirty paws in my boss’s food. SG would eat the whole thing and then shred the evidence. I think that my boss is just freaking out because I’m not there.
Boss used to think that I was mean because I didn’t share. SG is very charming, so the facilities guys thought I was a bitch…well some of them. The other ones think that Lynn has the best idea. Feet first in the shredder. Those were the ones who actually had to work with him.
I understamd that the pest contol guys are going to quit. They can’t use poison bait for the RatKings Lair because of the rattlesnakes. The snakes might eat poison rats and die. 17 species of rattlers are protected species, and we can’t risk killing them.
I so love working for the government.
PS. I’m in Texas now. No cow noises in Houston. Bill thinks that we should go to Wis, eat cheese and drink beer. Just to piss my boss off.
Then there’s no other option. We must nuke it from orbit.
Why would you have a voice mail box greeting telling someone you are too busy and don’t bother leaving a message? No wonder we get horrible customer service scores and people hate us. Woof!!
You are racist. Yes, colleague, you are.
Dear colleague A. Trying to involve me in a discussion where you come out with great phrases like “…come over here and take our jobs…” or how about “…they are all terrorists…”, or even “…but they all live together…” probably won’t end well.
This went on for about 15 minutes, while I’m picking holes in her every argument. It was like listening to soundbites from a far right protest march, and not one of the more educated far right groups at that.
She had already told me that she doesn’t feel happy with the political system, so I suggested that she votes for one of the far right parties. She seemed a little perturbed by this, so I take it a little further. I tell her directly that she is racist, and while our country may have its flaws, if we evicted everyone that wasn’t her shade of white, there would be nobody left to do the work. At this, she quietly flounced off.
Now colleague B, you’ve been to the loo, and you may have heard the start of the conversation, but you certainly didn’t hear the conclusion. So you might think I’d agree with the above phrases, but when you start repeating them to me, I’m calling you out as racist as well.
(Surprisingly, While I may object to their opinions, as this is a democracy, I respect it’s an opinion that they can hold. Just don’t try to bring me onto your side.)
And now it’s 5pm. I bid her a coldly polite good evening (as only a Brit can do) and I depart. Two racist colleagues that probably won’t be speaking to me any more. I’m gutted…
And in thinking about it, while I may have been a little cutting, if attempts are made to drag me before HR for hurting their feelings, I’ll ask them to recite their statements to our equal opportunities people. :D.
Colleague B is my local SG, but there’s a limit as to how much I can publish.
You guys won’t be hearing me bitch about my job much longer… I got the job I was interviewing for!! 
Now all I have to do is give my notice to my current boss, and I can’t do that until Wednesday because she’s “working from home” tomorrow. This oughta be fun…
Do it in writing, dated today, and leave it on her desk. then you are already ahead 2 days on your required notice period.
You’re going to keep in touch with your future former coworkers, right, so you can find out how things fall apart (even more) once you’re gone? And then share the stories with us?
Congrats on the new job. May it be much, MUCH less stressful.
Thanks Morgyn! I’m friends with a couple co-workers on Facebook, so I’m sure I’ll hear all about the fallout. I’m actually planning on giving two and a half weeks notice, so I’m not too worried about the extra day. (That and I’m already at home in my PJs… too late to leave a note!) It has to do with a vacation that’s already planned.
My boyfriend was walking around with this goofy grin all evening. Probably because he knows he won’t have to listen to me gripe much longer.
beI so want to jump up and down clapping hands for DrG. Go Grilfriend!!! I’m really hoping that your next job won’t be so toxic.
SpazCat, I am so up for the nuking it from space option, but Bill won’t buy me a bomb. He’s such a meany at times.
I’ve been looking at job postings in Houston. Bill and I have agreed that it would be unwise for me to work for his company.
Drug testing for making pizza? Really? I understand how the drivers might need to be clean, but smoking pot means someone is unqualified to toss cheese on a prefab crust? Drug testing for working in a book store? Us potheads love books. Drug testing for an Adult Bookstore? Honestly?
Yeah, I’ll probably go back to my safe, secure no drug testing job and smoke lots of pot to get over it.
Spott, don’t try to reason with B. Its like trying to teach a pig to sing. My SG quotes Rush and when I used to try to talk reason with him, his eyes would glaze over while he asked me how I felt about my taxes.
Yes, I agree…you MUST keep in touch with anyone who can keep us updated while the whole place goes to shit.
Mebbe they want to make sure you take the right kinds of drugs, whatever those are?
Dr. G, may the honeymoon part of your new job last a looooooooooong time.
spotthegerbil, I would like to point out that, while my colleagues Over Yonder and I can be said to have taken your jobs, we did not all live together (as shown by the fact that I did not throttle Sheboss), one of us is currently living with a Brit pale enough to work as a nightlight, and we’re not terrorists… we’re not, are we guys? Not unless you count a tendency to start arguing over who’s nerdiest as “terrorism”, nope. Oh wait… does Dave hooking up with a Brit count as “stealing your chicks”? Sorry, I didn’t do it!
I thought you meant Rush, the classic rock band, then I realized you probably mean Rush Limbaugh. Hey, maybe you can pretend he’s talking about Rush, the classic rock band. 
Even better start quoting Rush, the classic rock band back to him!
“No, his mind is not for rent
To any god or government.
Always hopeful, yet discontent,
He knows changes aren’t permanent,
But change is.”
Why am I Mikey, the Life kid?
Don’t like a case? Send it to Missy!
Don’t know what to do with a case? Send it to Missy!
You think you maybe shouldn’t have that case, but really aren’t 100% sure? Be safe and send it to Missy!
I then do something strange and scary - I review the case to verify whether I really should have the case or not. Lately, I’ve been returning 60% of cases received because the do not fit the criteria of my caseload.
In the three hours I’ve been working today, I’ve already had two damn e-mail wars with other workers because I’ve tossed cases back to them. No, I will NOT just hold a case because you THINK the situation will change, making it appropriate for transfer to me, you hold on to the damn thing until it IS appropriate for transfer to me.
I hate that we transfer cases willy nilly, which annoys the hell out of our clients; however, the cases I have require fairly intense work and I don’t have the patience to babysit your ‘maybe’ cases so YOU can keep your numbers up.