Ooooh, yes, here’s hoping you get a new and better position! 
t ¥P ¡Ng W¡†h ƒ|NgÉr z Cr0∫∫eD …
That… was an interesting exercise, digs. Cracked me up, too.
Speaking of positions, a coworker was complaining that “in every job, they’re just out to screw you”. Another one was calmly eating his ice cream. The first one finally asked the second one “doesn’t [whatever he’d just said] piss you off or what?” “Well, the way I see it, they do screw us in every job, but at least these ones pay for the lube. Your ice cream is melting.”
Ice cream is important. So’s getting screwed in the least-painful possible way…
I know my boss is a smart guy. He has to be. But he and I just don’t think in the same way. Seriously, if you give me something to do, explain clearly what you want instead of going off on tangents and the job will get done three times as fast!
The latest insanity is trying to clear up some problem (I’m still not entirely sure what) with two little tiny pieces of land (seriously tiny - they’re both about 1000 sq ft). Yesterday, I thought the problem was that he wanted the ownership changed. Today, I think the problem is the value is too high (both are assessed at over $5000, if I’m reading the form right, which I hope I’m not, because that’s ridiculous).
He keeps insisting they’re worthless and that he doesn’t own them, but if you look at the map of what he bought, it’s obvious he does. I swear, I’m going to give him a dollar for both of them and build a treehouse.
True dat. I’ve worked temp work for 15 years now, and I can count on the fingers of one hand all the good managers I’ve had.
I did sort of the same thing - she was holding onto the daily deposits that she needed to check so I could finish them up (it would take her about two minutes to actually check them), my shift ended, so I just left. She was all huffy and puffy the next day, but the boss backed me up - she knew that checking the deposits was a priority, and she knew what time my shift ended, so it was on her that she didn’t bother to get them done in time. He wasn’t a good manager, but he got that one right.
Everything crossed over here!
The best jobs are the ones where you don’t get screwed over (rare), but the second best are the ones where you know exactly where and when the screwing is happening, so you can prepare and accommodate. 
For fuck’s sake, boss, stop saying ‘it doesn’t exist!’ when we’re looking at the map and it does, in fact, exist.
Oh, just buy the two plots and build those treehouses already!
That way would have been epic, but how exactly did you do it?
Boss, I understand the level of frustration you’ve reached with the per diem rates*, but seriously you need to stop saying that you’re a government employee because you pay taxes. No you’re not. You work for a private corporation, not the United States government. On some fundamental level you know this, but years of Rush Limbaugh have rotted the connections between your thinking brain and that level.
*Hotel in a tourist town. We have tons of people trying to game the federal government per diem rates which we actually need because there are several federal offices plus a VA hospital close to us. We are very strict about the federal (not state, not local) government ID and government credit card as payment requirements.
Well, my boss finally groked that he did in fact own that property, instead of it just being an easement. ‘That’s pretty cool’. :smack: :rolleyes: Well, problem solved without me having to actually do much. Best I can figure, the source of the problem was him not reading the contract…
So here we are, the 14 of us, standing in the lobby waiting for the elevator. Minutes tick by. Each pair of eyes regularly dart up to the elevator scoreboard, wondering which of the three lifts will reach us first.
And then, finally, BING! The center elevator arrives and empties itself of its human cargo. When the container is empty, we begin the orderly shuffle toward the…Hey! You! Hey, late-arriving motherfucker who just entered the lobby and is now striding, striding to board the lift ahead of a whole group of stand-up citizens who waited patiently just as Miss Kerfluffle taught them back in kindergarten…you are taking cuts, man, you are jumping the line in a fashion that would get you shirt-collared and escorted out of any righteous amusement park on the planet!!! You ignorant, self-important, clueless piece of toe-jelly.
mmm
There’s a paper plate in the wastebasket in the women’s restroom. I’m puzzled: are people fixing themselves a sandwich while they’re in there or something? 
I can explain that one, maybe. We’re not allowed to throw food refuse in our desk trash cans, instead were supposed walk to the far side of the building and dispose of our trash in the lunchroom trash can. Many people on our side of the building, not wanting to walk back to the lunchroom, just toss stuff into the bathroom garbage.
The official reason for not tossing garbage in our desk trash cans is to keep vermin out. We’re not allowed to have food out at our desks, if we have a party it can only be held in the wide open lunchroom (amazing just how many people “wander through” when there’s a private party). This is for us only. Another organization that shares a large portion of our floor has no such rules. Any given day, I can look from my desk into their office and see platters of food on counters. Sooo, we have secret parties in our area and dispose of the illicit trash in the bathroom garbage so management doesn’t see it.
You really need to update your sign-off line, man.
How many people here read that rant and ended up thinking: “mmm, toe-jelly…”?
I really don’t understand why I have to explain to someone FOUR TIMES, finally copying their manager on the fourth email, that the ID they’re trying to sign in with is not a valid logon ID.
No, we can’t reset the password on an ID that doesn’t exist.
Yes, an ID is being made for you, but it doesn’t exist yet. That part is being done by other people and I expect it to be done within 48 hours.
No, that other area can’t reset the password either. The ID doesn’t exist.
No, the software you’re using to try to sign in is not faulty. It cannot sign in to an ID that doesn’t exist.
No seriously, what part of “you don’t have a sign on ID yet, wait until you get notified that it has been created” is not making it into your skull?
YOU DON’T MOTHERFUCKING HAVE AN ID ON THE SYSTEM YOU ARE TRYING TO SIGN INTO, JACKASS. WAIT UNTIL YOU DO, THEN IT WILL WORK.
Seriously, I should cancel your request for an ID. Clearly you’re too fucking stupid to be allowed access to anything complicated.
Thanks for the good wishes! I have three days to scare up two kids to work for the festival Saturday or else I’m gonna get stuck working it myself. Half the kids are on vacation and most of the others have some lame excuse.
Any news on the other job? I’ve been sending good wishes for you as well. Wouldn’t it be awesome if the new job came through and you didn’t have to worry about the festival?
Ooh, okay, now I have a specific goal to pray/invoke/channel/beam/voodoo towards!
“Oh, Mighty Lord, would it kill ya to get this job thing straightened out before the festival?”
Try this in England. YOU. DO. NOT. JUMP. THE. QUEUE. Ever. Especially not in a bank, even when you plan on robbing it.
Your queue jumper would have been asked to go to the back of the queue in the polite, velvety, BBC English Tones that gave Hitler nightmares.
The one Olympic sport the British are guaranteed to do well in this year is queueing.
In our next lesson on British culture, we will find out why it’s a bad idea to ring the bell should you require service in a pub…