“Sorry about the kick to the pelvic girdle, and the broken bones, I’ve been training in martial arts for 10 years, and by now that sort of thing is just reflexes, I don’t even think about what I’m doing.”
My daughter has ASTONISHING reflexes. I’m so proud of her. And I pity the fool who DOES try to sneak up on her and touch her, because she really does react without even thinking.
Co-worker, I do the same job at the same time every week, and I have to go ask you for the same sheets to check off all the packages that have come in every week. Here’s a wild and crazy thought - how about you print it off on the day you know I’ll be in without waiting for me to ask you for it?
And no, I can’t print it off for myself - they won’t even give me a card key to get into the building - you think they’re giving me access to any computers? 
There are three people in my division that I cannot stand. Absolutely destest.
Of the six people here today, they are three.
If they would just stay in their cubes, it might be tolerable. But no. In the “Spirit of Xmas” all feel the need to spread their version of joy to the other three of us here.
Add that to barely any sleep and an upset stomach…fml.
Throw up on them?
What’s fml? Fuck my life?
Correct.
It’s not a good sign that that’s where my mind immediately goes. Sigh.
I recently started a pretty simple finance-related job. Or at least, I thought it’d be simple. I’d done these sort of positions before, running numbers, match what’s in our accounts with the invoices, transfer funds between accounts, send documents to Central Bureaucracy so people can get their money, etc. A monkey with a calculator could do it. However, what I didn’t realize when I agreed to this job was that the last person before me was an incompetent buffoon.
One and a half months after she’s left, my director and I are still finding things that weren’t done properly, or documents that were squirreled away and we spend half a day having to follow the trail and trying to figure out if it was actually done or not. Central Bureaucracy, the people who are supposed to have all the documents we send them, is no help, of course. Too many people on holidays and they are short staffed.
So, because of the previous buffoon’s incompetence, my boss has learned not to trust anyone in this position and has to look over EVERYTHING that happens. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice lady and I sort of understand how concerning it is to realize that the job wasn’t being done right for the six months before I took it. But just because previous buffoon was lazy, stupid, and unwilling to learn how to do the job properly, it doesn’t mean I am the same way too. I actually started off very eager beaver and had a week’s worth of work managed down to two days. And then I went over the backlog, and that’s when shit exploded. I have a personality where if I’m being micromanaged, I’d just rather not do it. A bit of a self-fulfilled prophecy, because if she’d just left me alone to do what I had to do, I’m quick and efficient and I get the job done. But the more I’m grilled about why I’m doing things this way, or why the numbers look like that, I just shut down and don’t want to proceed because the more I do, the more that comes back to me with questions.
Oh, and everyone else in the fucking office should stop giving me so many fucking pieces of paper. I’m getting buried by dead trees over here!!! So fucking much for the digital age.
Well, it could just be a sign that you pay attention to internet- and pop-culture. It’s a pretty common expression and initialism these days, so even if you didn’t officially, consciously know it, you’ve probably seen it more than once.
Is your boss also your manager, or is there someone else managing you who you could have act as a sort of intermediary to try to resolve this? Otherwise, have you considered talking with your boss about how this management style is affecting your productivity? It would probably work best to find a time to discuss it other than right when it happens (i.e., when you’re angry and frustrated). If your boss is a competent manager, you should be able to work out some sort of compromise where you can get your work done without constantly having your methods questioned, while your boss can still get the information they like to have about how the process is working.
That scares me more.
My boss, who is the director, is also my manager, the HR person, the signing authority, and basically the “oh shit, it’s not supposed to look like that” go-to person. It’s a small department, just five people, and she holds all the answers to everything and anything. In all fairness, I really do understand where she’s coming from, but since this is the last week we’re in the office before the new year, and we’re trying to get a lot of things done before we take off, tension is running high.
There was actually an incident yesterday, where something was going wrong with the database, so she came down to my desk and we sat together while trying to figure it out. Since it went wonky when I was using it, she was very “Oh dear, what have you done now?” with me. I showed her exactly what I had been doing, and it just goes kaput on its own, nothing I was doing wrong. She tells me to change this, change that, and in the end, an error message actually comes up and I click “ok” before she finished reading it. Simple message, really. The “value” in the little entry box can’t be blank, so I have to type in “$0.00”. Except, she doesn’t read as fast as I do, and when I was about to type in the $0.00, she freaks out because she thinks I haven’t read it, and tells me not to screw around with it like that because the database is sensitive. So I tell her that’s not helpful instruction because I did read it, but she’s gotten me so flustered, that I’m screwing it up because she’s trying to make me pay attention to two things at once. She ends up kicking me out of my seat to fix “my mistake”. So something that should have just taken me two seconds to fix (typing in $0.00), it took her ten minutes to get through because she was convinced that solution wasn’t the solution just because I said it was that simple. I spent those ten minutes going :smack: :smack: :smack: until she finally realized, hey, it is indeed asking for $0.00.
I think I’ll just have to take my holiday break to think about how to talk to her about these kinds of nitpicky attitude. I mean, there’s got to be a better phrase than “I don’t like how you don’t like the things I do, so stop thinking everything I do is wrong and needs to be questioned!” It’s not really a personal thing she’s doing to me, just that she doesn’t trust ANYONE to do this job right anymore.
Anyway, didn’t mean to turn this into a blog entry. But in response to your question, there’s not much room for negotiation in this department, and it’s a temp job anyway. When the person I’m filling in for comes back from maternity leave, I’ll move onto something else. I mean, compared to my last assignment, this one isn’t that bad. The last one, oooooh boy. I actually had to call my assignment coordinator to pull me out of that one, and on my last day, I actually said to the woman who drove me away (when she asked why I was in such a hurry to leave) “I can’t stand this toxic environment, and waking up every morning with the thought that I’d have to sit in the same office with you for yet another day will eventually lead to my mental breakdown, so I choose my health over your shrill condescending ‘needs’”. But that’s a story for another time!
One of the hardest things to learn to do as a good manager is to trust that when you hand a job to somebody, you can’t expect them to do it your way. As long as the result is correct, it doesn’t matter *how *it gets done; if you want it done *your *way, *you *have to do it. Unfortunately, that’s a hard thing to find a tactful way to explain to a superior.
SCENE: 2:00pm Tuesday, December 21, University Academic Department office
CAST: Mr Boss Man, Orderfire (senior Admin Asst), Dumbass Old Lady Retiree with Short-Timers Disease (Office Asst)
Mr Boss Man: Orderfire, I’m leaving for the day, see you tomorrow.
Orderfire: OK thanks, I’ll be here. Have a good evening.
(20 seconds later)
Dumbass Old Lady Retiree with Short-Timers Disease (excitedly): Orderfire, when did he say we could leave today!?!
Orderfire: He didn’t. We have a full day today.
Honestly, WTMFF you stupid, lazy, clock-watching waste of space. You are scheduled to work ONE. FUCKING. DAY. this week. It’s not even the day before Xmas, for crying out loud…it’s TUESDAY. You lazy piece of shit. This isn’t the first incident, by the way - just the latest and most shameless. It would be one thing if your productivity was off the charts, but you just barely manage to figure the basics out without extensive hand-holding, after four years.
I don’t care if it takes me 90 hours a week to interview all these damn candidates for your job on top of doing all your work, I’m going to hire someone who isn’t constantly looking for a way to weasel out of doing their goddamn job all day every day. Moron.
And the response from Central Bureaucracy when I inquired why the funds from an account hasn’t been transferred to our other accounts even though the documents were sent in over three months ago?
WTF? How about some actual information? Or at least some further instructions on what I need to send in? 'Tis the season to be snarky, I guess.
Only five more hours to go. Only five more hours to go.
If the boss isn’t looking, there’s no point in working!
But seriously, she sounds like a chore.
orderfire, you’re getting mad at somebody for mishearing something? If you *don’t *get excited at the prospect of getting extra paid time off, you have the best fucking job in existence.
I could probably tolerate it if she were really a sweet little old lady who was just kind of clueless, but she’s a conniving lazy old hag in sweet little old lady’s clothing.:mad:
Oh, no no no. Not mis-hearing. Greedy entitled wishful thinking, developed over four years of honing her weaseling techniques. Of course, everyone (including me) loves the idea of extra paid time off but:
a) we need coverage in the office every day to receive temp-sensitive packages, so one can’t just waltz off at 2pm. Melted samples = $$$$ wasted
b) for some strange reason, taxpayers really, really don’t like it when nobody is in the office or answering the phones. 
My gripe is with a person with zero sense of responsibility. Seriously, you’re scheduled for 8 hours in a week and you’re looking for extra free time off???
To be (sorta) fair, it’s really difficult to concentrate on work on a holiday week. I only had three days this week, and I still couldn’t stop watching the clock. If I worked one day for the whole week, I’d probably have to consciously remind myself it was a full day too.
If her job sucks, which apparently it does, because nobody ever gets good part-time temp work, why *shouldn’t *she be excited because she thought she heard someone say “you can leave for the day at [mumble mumble] tomorrow” and not “I’m leaving for the day, see you tomorrow”? Be mad at her for being a shitty worker, fine, I’m with you there. But getting mad at her just because she got excited about the prospect of getting out of some office grunt work? That’s cold.