I just asked a former coworker over IM whether he wants my mother’s phone number. That way, he can call her, they decide what work conditions I should have, and then they can run my negotiations for me, aye?
No, I am NOT going to tell you how much I make (and I don’t believe you when you say how much you make, because it’s inconsistant with what you say those times you’re babbling about how much you dream about making). I am NOT going to tell you the exact conditions I’ve negotiated. Whether you’re my mother or a business contact, anything beyond: which agency it’s with, who the final client is, project duration and module is None. Of. Your. Fucking. Business. And I’ll appreciate it if you get out of my face before you find yourself fucking a whole line of cactii.
Sweet baby Jesus licking a strawberry lollipop, that information should not get shared with anybody other than IRS and a spouse, and they demand it like they have the right to it!
Hi-fives Nava. Your former coworker is too nosy. Fie on them.
Flatlined, sorry about your minion training. I’m sure your boss is going to miss you big time when you leave. Did you get a chance to try your Veskimo in action? If you did was it helpful?
I hope that everyone has a stress free Monday at work!
My department apparently has no respect for reference materials now. The index book for our only complete set of ASTM books is missing. We used to have three or for copies of a big cross-reference book for metal material standards; now we’re down to one copy that is split down the spine and is missing several pages. And I’m this close to buying my own copy of Engineering Properties of Steel ($149!), because it hasn’t been on its shelf for weeks.
Before state statutes were available online, the Courts used to issue four complete statue books for our division. Four books. Over 200 employees. Now, granted, we didn’t have to look up statutes all the time, but it was impossible to find a book when needed.
So I bribed a County Attorney (they each had a copy).
I would say buy your own, let it be known you have a copy, then accept bribes for usage within your vicinity.
Only if you give the wide eyed, slight head twitch, looking in another direction, very low and quiet “it speaks to me at night” when people ask about why it’s chained up.
I could strip the coverings off the tiny shades on the ceiling fan in the living room. I’m not entirely sure what they’re made of, but they look like rawhide and they feel nasty.
User: I want access to every database.
Me: <explains how it works - you have to ask for each database and get permission from the owner of the db before we give it to you>
User: I already got access to one database and it wasn’t enough. It took far too long and I don’t want to go through that again. Give me access to everything.
Me: It doesn’t work that way. You need to figure out what databases you need access to for your job, ask for access by database and then we ask the owners if they’ll give you permission.
User: Well what can I ask for that gives me access to everything.
Me: Nothing. There is no “rights to everything”.
User: I’ll have to talk to someone and see what I can do here.
<click>
You can fucking figure out what specific databases you need access to as part of your job, then we’ll see if the data owners agree. But there are these people called AUDITORS who frown on random idiots demanding rights to everything because they’re too lazy to figure out the specifics of what they need. I’m pretty sure the risk management people would probably not be too happy about it either.
I got no problems with people going over my head. When I’m right I’m right, and if there are exceptions that are going to be made, then it’s them that will make them. More often than not, people who try to climb the food chain demanding exceptions because they’re “special” get told in no uncertain terms how NOT special they are. Fact is where I’m at I have a good relationship with the risk managers, precisely because I’m on top of things that need their attention. I enjoy the fuck out of sending them things that people are trying to bypass them on and almost literally hearing the record scratch as they step into the middle of it and say “Excuse me…”
It’s been well established that my boss is a major-league asshole. Today he outdid himself.
One of our booth cashiers is this sweet 70-something lady who has somehow managed to put up with the boss for 15 years. She just recently found out her husband has cancer and might have six months to live. She wanted to talk to the boss about her situation, even called the office to make an appointment to see him.
I reminded the boss today that the cashier was coming to see him, since he tends to “forget” about these things. Just as she’s pulling into the parking lot the boss sees her and dashes out the back door, saying he doesn’t have time for her right now. He tells me I’ll have to deal with her.
He reappears almost immediately after she leaves. He tried to pass it off as a coincidence but it turns out he was hanging out in the warehouse. Nice guy, can’t find 20 minutes to make a long-time loyal employee feel important? I can’t understand how people have put up with him for so long.
Oh and the recruiter guy with the fabulous job offer for me? Apparently just blowing smoke. Haven’t heard a word from him. Won’t return my messages either. Sigh…
Had to listen to a department manager a few months back. Direct quote, “I’m a manager and I find it insulting that I don’t have full access to my computer.”
What I thought. “Get over yourself you stupid twit. You having full access would just make more work for me cleaning up the crap you break.”
What I said. “I understand your feelings, but you have the same access that I myself and the CEO have. The security team has determined the workstation policies in effect and we have no way to modify it. Sorry.”
That’s what I have always despised. “You’re supposed to acknowledge their feelings and empathize” So you’re demanding that I LIE to them and say imply that I approve of their feelings? “Oh no, saying you understand their feelings isn’t an endorsement. You just understand them.” Sorry, I don’t necessarily “understand” little wookums manager’s demands to be special and why he’s INSULTED by something everyone has to deal with.
Someone made loose leaf chamomile tea in the basket of our coffee maker. And left it there. For hours, and it was a crusty on the outside, soggy on the inside mess. This was made in the fliter basket of our nice new communal coffee pot (cuisinart witht he thermos pot) and the gold filter thingy someone had bought, so we don’t use (or have) paper filters.
I drink both tea and coffee. I am not a tea hater, although chamomile tea gives me sniffles and watery eyes. My parents make tea in their coffee maker too (only they never make coffee in it, and they use bags). I use a tea pot and a strainer. (I hate tea balls)
I am not anti tea! But I can not fathom this!
But making tea in a communal coffee pot is a dick move, maybe could happen once, ok I understand. (but wouldn’t coffee flavours mess with the flavour of your tea?)
Making looseleaf tea in a communal pot is a messy dick move.
Leaving it harden and get nasty and compost-y is just infuriating. I was so dishartened by the mess I almost made instant coffee tonight rather than clean up the gunk. But then I would still feel punished. I figure being angry with a good cup of coffee in my hand is better than being sulky and drinking instant.
Two workplace gripes in one night, after more than a year?
The inventors of bed alarms should have to trial them them selves. With the sound on full volume. Every burp fart twitch and breath setting them off, should wake the designers up. Or maybe they can put them in the puppy bed, so it can go off not at all when the puppy walks across the room to pee on the new couch.
Then and only then can the designer maybe find a happy medium between “goes off if person scratches his nose” and “goes off when person is already in the bathroom and on the floor.”
But you know, thanks for keeping my whole floor awake with the stupid alarm tonight. We gave up and turned the thing off and kept one staff in the room watching the person we care for. This does not really improve safety for the rest of the people in our care though.
Someone took down a sign that I had pinned to the outside of my cubicle, claiming that I was “secretly fomenting sedition.” I take issue with this for two reasons:
(1) No, I was not. I’m pretty overt about my displeasure around here. Sometimes you can’t get me to shut up about it, even.
(2) The sign said, “This workspace proudly velociraptor-free since 2003.”
Unless a particularly prickly velociraptor has taken over as CEO of the company, there is NO WAY that anybody could take that as anything other than a joke. “Secretly fomenting sedition” … sweet cracker sandwiches, they’ve all gone around the bend.
I like that idea.