“I was told I needed to notify you if we wanted to add {{{ XYZ functionality }}}. How would I go about doing that?”
Ummm … you just did? 
Some guy comes in today to pick up an application. I tell him we’re not hiring and he leaves.
About an hour later I get a call. “I want to talk to your supervisor!”
“May I have your name please?”
“You don’t need my name!”
“I need to have your name if I’m to transfer the call.”
“Whiny McBitchpants!”
I go back to tell Big Boss there’s a call. He tells me to send it to his voicemail. I do.
A few hours later Big Boss checks his voicemail and returns the call. I’m in the back eating my sandwich. I hear Big Boss say “I understand you might feel that way if you don’t get the answer you wanted.” He was talking to Whiney McBitchpants who decided to call to complain about how rude I was for telling him we weren’t hiring. Big Boss tells him we’re not, but why don’t you just come by to pick up an application anyway. He did that for a specific reason. He told me and Milquetoast, the executive housekeeper, that this way Whiney can’t say we’re discriminatory or any bullshit like that and we can just ignore the application when he turns it in. Because, as you see, we know his name and that he’s a whiney bitch already before the interview!
A couple of hours later, Whiney shows up all cocky like he got away with something. He smirks at me when I hand him the application. I do not laugh in his face, instead choosing to wait until he’s gone so Big Boss and I can share a chortle together. He ain’t getting hired. I’d be surprised if his application doesn’t land in File 13 the day he turns it in.
Seriously, he thinks this is how you apply for a job? :rolleyes:
Oh, don’t throw it away!
Put it on the bulletin board for posterity, marked ‘DO NOT HIRE’.
Back when I was an admin asst./receptionist, I was the first line of defense for idiots like that.
Every time a position was open, I was the one to look at the resumes. I was the one who told the people who were hiring how I was treated. I didn’t need to give them the applications from people who were jerks.
Polite and well groomed people who had their own pens got their applications moved to the stack I’d look at.
The ones who didn’t bother to comb their hair and stole my pens went to a different stack.
I just really don’t understand how people don’t understand this. Don’t tick off the gatekeeper.
They think they’re better than the gatekeeper. What they haven’t figured out yet is that the gatekeeper has a job and they do not. They also can’t figure out that the gatekeeper can speak to the boss about them when they are not around. It’s lack of common sense like this that keeps them unemployed. This holds true even when they’re applying for a job beneath the gatekeeper’s pay grade.
Housekeepers that treat me like shit do not stick around.
Workplace non-gripe: I have a workplace starting Monday! I sincerely hope I will never have reason to post about it in this thread, except perhaps the odd stealth brag. 
I never say this, but OMG! Whiney McBitchpants just showed up to turn in his application!
“I want to hand this to your supervisor personally.”
goes back, tells this to Big Boss
“I’m not here yet.”
goes back, tells this to WMcBP
“I’ll come back.” (obviously not trusting me to take his application because he’s just that special)
Milquetoast is signing out her key. She comes over and introduces herself as the head of housekeeping. He gives her the application and stalks off, obviously thinking he’s got one over on me.
Milquetoast, Big Boss, and I agree there has to be one application to keep the good ones off the table. A coaster, as it were.
I guarandamntee you he’ll call in a few days wanting to know the status of his application. And when he doesn’t get the job, it’ll be because I’m racist. :rolleyes:
I’m not, but I am employed. 
Okay, I’m going out for breakfast and raising a tall Greek coffee in your honor. Great to have a non-gripe. What’s the job?
(Hmmm, should I mention that no place is weirdo-free, so you will be back? Naaah…)
Hear hear!
Along the same lines, I’ve never understood why people think that being rude, loud, and harassing is going to get you better service in any industry. Yes, sometimes you have to be pretty firm about something or stand your ground, but if you need a CS person to help you out and maybe get something done through unusual channels, berating them isn’t going to give them the warm fuzzies, y’know?
:rolleyes:
Well, if he comes back and is a jerk about it, I recommend you give him a great big wolfish smile and explain it to him. 
I’ll add “Don’t try to hit on the gatekeeper, either” to this. I did some of the hiring for Bosshole, and I remember this one particularly creepy guy who came in to fill out an application.
After I got called “sweetie” and “pretty little thing” and “babe” his application got “WEIRDO” written across it in red ink and filed in the “no way in Hell” file.
Looking back on it though, I should’ve hired him. Eventually he would’ve gotten slapped with some sort of harassment lawsuit which would’ve cost Bosshole money. I’m long gone, wouldn’t have been my problem!
I’m doing the Happy Dance for you, Dunkelheit!
PLEASE tell him that it’s being used as a coaster! Or pass the phone to Bog Boss and have HIM tell. The reason can be “Because you treated a valued employee like crap.”
You need to describe him to flatlined. Or just check his job history and see if he’s listed Shredder Guy on the application.
When he comes back to complain about racism, just point out that it couldn’t possibly be racism because asshat isn’t a race.
Nor is it a protected group.
And unfortunately it also isn’t an endangered species.
I can FIX that, if someone will just hand me a flamethrower, unlimited fuel, and an unlimited travel budget. And immunity. I’ve already got the bad attitude.
OMG I love this. 
Filing it away for future use…
Have you ever been squawked at for doing something sooner than your boss wants?
Manual states in X situation, you can review in 180 days. Can. Not must. I have a case with X situation, but with some feelers out for info, so I set it to review in 90 days. Silly me wanting to work a case sooner, in the hopes of being able to take action earlier than half a freakin’ year out.
Another coworker was squawked at - she had the nerve to send a letter giving someone 14 days to response, and set it to review in 20 days (to allow for mailing, etc). Boss said 30 days would be better.
We constantly get bitched at for being slow, so we try to shorten timeframes and again get bitched at. Gawd, I love working for the government.
Whiney McBitchPants won’t talk to me because I’m mean to him.
If he comes back, I’ll get Big Boss to talk to him. Then he’ll know who the mean one *really *is.
I have a long-ish commute, 45 miles takes about an hour with traffic, so when I get home I’m ready to sit and relax for a bit. Today I get home and my parking spot is taken. While the spots are not marked, the are directly in front of the apartments, and each apartment is offset so its obvious which spots go with which apartment. This person passed up the visitor spots to park in front of my apartment. So now I have back up and back in a visitor spot. I just spent the last hour dodging the morons on the interstate and now I get to deal with one at home.
ETA: I just realized I put this in work rants when I ment for it to go in April mini rants
It amazes me constantly just how rude some cold-calling vendors can be. You’re trying to sell a good or service to my company, but when you get someone on the phone, you demand to be directly connected to a board member. Or you give me the name of a person who no longer works here and snap at me when I, who has access to the company directory, inform you that they no longer work here. It’s not my goddamnned fault that your contact list was a post-it on the Dead Sea scrolls.
Look - I know that you’re a sales rep. I understand that you’re trying to make a living so your dear mother can stop making those films with the boars out of a economic reason and can instead do them as a hobby. Work on your people skills, sparky. Keep calling and being an asshole - I will be more than happy to email our vendor management team with the number you’re calling from and get you blacklisted.