Hey, guys, I heard there was something interesting to watch over here! {Sets up camp chair, pulls out chocolate fountain}
Pulls out a chocolate fountain from where? :dubious:
Nevermind. If there’s chocolate, I’m in. Gimme a minute to dolly out the recliner.
Oh, I’ve got some bananas for that fountain.
brings strawberries and blueberries
I have a question for our programmers: when I want someone to make a copy of, say, a screen or a form, is there a way to get them to actually make a copy? For some reason, there’s a few forms for which it’s relatively easy that the programmers will actually. Make. A. Fucking. Copy. And tweak it, but in general it’s as if that paragraph was invisible. And since formats are defined by the goddamned salespeople, I am not allowed to write “MAKE A COPY OF TABLE 5 AND UPDATE COLUMNS D AND E AS LISTED.”
Maybe I should repeat it in every cell in the list of fields? Column A: copy Column A from Table 5. Column B: copy Column B from table 5. Column C: copy Column C from table 5. Column D: copy column D from table 5 and substitute P to N. Column E: leave blank. Column F: copy Column F from Table 5.
Pulls up chair, gets cold, makes campfire S’mores, anyone?
We’ve had this new software at work for over a month now. Still many bugs and glitches, software occasionally rendered unusable. As a result, my entire department is falling behind, not just “so far behind!!!” Snowflake. So what does grandboss do? Have multiple meetings about why we’re behind, rather than just leaving us alone and letting us work. Already two this week and another one scheduled for Thursday.
Grandboss was one of TPTB that lobbied for this fantastic new software, so he of course doesn’t want to hear about the bugs in it. :rolleyes:
Well, back to the dark end of the closet where we don’t get told what is going on with the software we support. Other issues are putting it on the back burner. Production issues which we (us support people) knew would be as huge as they are when they initially told us their cunning plan.
offers some honeycrisp apples
I needed to find some absolutely ancient (early '70s) documents this afternoon, so I went to speak with document control. “Oh, that’s probably in The Container.” I was intrigued…I had no idea what she could be talking about. I was aware that some additional storage was added after the last building addition, and I was actually looking forward to seeing what sorts of new storage solutions had been added.
Turns out that The Container is one of several old shipping containers that were unceremoniously deposited in the lot between the back of the building and the dumpsters. >.< As the company runs out of space for file cabinets in the building, they’re moved to The Container. Some of these cabinets are rusted shut; others have deformed just enough that they’re impossible to open. A handful are locked, and no one seems to have the keys. This is also the place where the recent payroll records are stored. Needless to say, I never found what I was looking for. Oh, did I mention that the doors of The Container are secured with a single padlock?
I would seriously cut a bitch for some honeycrisp apples right now. We don’t have them yet.
They’re so tasty! I enjoyed one for you today…does that help any?
Oh the stupid, it hurts. I spent probably close to 15 minutes on the phone today with someone who didn’t seem to understand that September comes before October. I can’t even attempt to describe the way the phone call went.
“I don’t understand why our Production system is having issues and I demand that someone in your area explain why! Why haven’t we been told of any issues? How am I going to explain this to the people dependent on our systems?”
Ok, first off, there have been like THREE EMAILS PER DAY that go to several thousand people each time, which have been carefully explaining what the issue is, when it will be resolved, and what you should do to help out and make sure your shit runs.
You have an ID on our system. You get those emails. I absolutely guarantee that, because my co-worker runs a script EVERY FREAKING MONDAY that ensures that everyone with an active ID is on that mailing list. Hell, you may be on one of the several other lists included in those emails too. So I fucking KNOW you get those emails. Hell, I get them forwarded back to me from other teams, because I’m on their email lists. I got THREE copies of the latest one.
My response was a very very short “This has been explained by the multiple emails we’ve sent out on the subject. I will forward you the latest one now.”
Seems like the way it went was “backwards,” at least from the POV of your interlocutor.
Maybe you should have attached it.
I keep forgetting you’re younger than I am. Let me give you some advice for streamlining the process.
Nail their heads to a table, set fire to them, and feed the charred remains to a Pak’ma’ra.
I’m 51. I’m younger than you?
Love the Pak’ma’ra reference though. Been re-watching B5 on my iPad on the bus.
Reckon’s how yer younger than a buncha us curmudgeons here…
Dadburn whippersnapper. No respect fer them what’s older an wiser.
Okay. Maybe not. 48 here. But 30 years in IT.
Depending on where you are, you should get the full quote. Taking a break before season 5 to watch Crusade.
Is this person one of those unbelievable idiots who is proud of the way they don’t ever actually read their emails?
OK, listen: I. AM. NOT. THE. IT. DEPARTMENT. I know how to fix quite a few issues with some of our software, and I know quite a few workarounds beyond that, but just because I know how to make paperwork come out of the system with the correct language on it DOES NOT MEAN THAT I KNOW HOW TO FIX THE PRINTERS OR THE MONITORS OR THE GODDAMNED ID CARD READER THAT LETS YOU INTO THIS PART OF THE BUILDING.
And even if I DID know how to fix them, I wouldn’t do it for you, anyway. Fuck you. You’re an asshole. Open an ITR like everybody else has to, or call the facilities manager. Don’t call me just because you know my extension and think I’m handy.
I don’t LIKE you, and I don’t WANT to help you.
I’m a little bit in love with you right now.
Hey, old guy who never truly learned how to use a computer–call the IT department for your stupid-ass questions. Your email “went all slanty” because you hit the italics button. I may be closest to you and I may actually know the answer, but the same question asked five times over the course of a week means you’re not learning anything. Maybe if the IT guy ridicules you for it enough, you’ll retain the information.
Maybe the IT department will send in Nick Burns.
