It is a truth universally acknowledged that the guy who works in our mail-and-file room is a world-class douchecanoe who absolutely CANNOT just leave shit the fuck alone. He’s opened three tickets with IT in the last month about the stupidest shit – e.g., “customer addresses do not fit in window envelopes.”
Guess who has been asked to test his foolishness?
Contrary to the movies, one does not ‘start in the mail room and work his/her way up’ (although that once may have been true). No, you only work in the mail room because you’re too fucking incompetent to do anything else.
Oh, love this one (summarized);
“I need to fill out some regulatory report, so please give me this long list of sensitive customer information.”
How about you go fuck yourself? If you were authorized for that data, you could get it yourself.
And no ‘regulatory report’ on Earth asks for that kind of information.
I could probably successfully argue that he’s too fucking incompetent to work in the mail-and-file room. Because his “critical issue” with the addresses? Was caused because he insists on changing all Word documents to 18-point type so he can read them, instead of just increasing the magnification on the view screen. OF COURSE the addresses are going to be too big for the window in the envelope when the documents are being printed in a large enough font to be viewable from space.
Also, there are contracts in there that have literally not been filed since 2003, when I started here, because he swears up and down that files are “missing” when in at least five different cases I know that they’re just misfiled (e.g., MIS is after MIV in the cabinet). I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste time teaching a 50-something man the fucking alphabet.
AAAAAaaaaaaaaah, my supervisor (the one who signs off with “Thank you for your patients”) is on our portal iteration GoToMeeting calls.
Except, if you ask her, they’re board **alliteration **calls.
Someone kill me.
Then for fun, I’d make sure to provide as many answers as I could using alliteration. Sometimes even painfully so.
Does this supervisor like to substitute “Pacific” for “specific” too? One of my co-workers does this…I’m not entirely sure if she realizes what she’s doing, since she has no trouble understanding the word “specific”.
Shut up. Don’t give her any ideas.
I dunno, give her as many ideas as possible. Encourage this idiocy in as subtle and complete a manner as you can. Eventually it has to come to the attention of her bosses, hopefully through a series of complaints and questions about her intelligence and competence.
Moderate workplace griping:
Up until about a year ago, I worked in IT at my job. My goal up until that time was to move up into a leadership position within my group and I had been taking steps towards that goal by completing a masters degree in IT management, mentoring the other techs on my team in my office as well as others, and by generally kicking butt at my job. Two years ago, on my annual review with my supervisor (I’ll call him Greg), I said that once I finished my degree I wanted to either move up into a supervisor position or move out of the department. It wasn’t an ultimatum, it wasn’t a grab at his job, it was a stating of my goals and what I wanted to accomplish. My thoughts were that I could slide into a leadership spot at my current office and lead the IT team that’s there where we support 8 floors of sales – the biggest sales office in our company and because of its size and the needs of the users there, could definitely use an IT supervisor with feet on the ground there. I knew the sales force there, I knew the people, I knew the needs, and the IT support team there was a mature team that did a very good job of taking care of it. Good spot for a first time supervisor, which I iterated to my supervisor and manager (I’ll call him Joey Joe Joe) several times.
I did interview for a supervisor’s spot within my group, though it wouldn’t have been the best fit. I would have to go to a different office that was less convenient, I would have to manage an “immature” team, and I would have had to move away from supporting sales to one that supports other parts of the company. I admit, I didn’t interview my best with Joey Joe Joe. I interviewed well enough with two other IT managers, but stumbled a bit with the one I really needed to sound good too.
Shortly after that, Joey Joe Joe told me the day before Greg was getting terminated that he would be and he (Joey Joe Joe) wanted to move me into a supervisor spot which would be my current office and another nearby sales office – something that I had pushed for for 3 or 4 years by then. The next day, he made the formal announcement to the team and said that Greg was gone and the supervisor role was going to be rolled into the other position that I interviewed for and didn’t get. I emailed Joey Joe Joe about it and he replied that it was “out of his hands” and we could talk about it later.
We never did talk about it, that was a real backbreaker for me and I could have pushed harder, but instead I interviewed for a position that is out of IT and got that one. I took it personally, and I’m sure that Joey Joe Joe wasn’t sitting there tenting his fingers and laughing evilly, but I still feel slighted, to say the least. I am now a networking specialist that helps the sales people with technical questions, setting up opportunities, and acting as a technical go-between between my company and one of our vendors.
I like it here much better, hours are nicer, I get a day working at home, and I’m salaried (instead of hourly) with a small sales bonus. I’m still friendly with the IT department and having worked there meant a lot to me – I grew a lot there and I’ve accomplished a lot within those (almost) 9 years.
Last week, one of my former teammates told me that Joey Joe Joe promoted another team mate (I’ll call him Big Tony) to supervisor of the sales building. Apparently, the promotion essentially consisted of Joey walking up to the two, telling them that they needed a supervisor in the building and if either of them wanted it. Big Tony shrugged and said “OK, I’ll take it.”
So something I wanted, had been working towards, and felt that I was qualified for was kept out of my reach until I left the department and then just kinda given to someone else 12 months later 'cuz he was there.
So I’m happy where I am and I am happy for Big Tony, but pissed that this is how it went. Like I got snubbed. Suck a zitty ass boil Joey Joe Joe!
Months or years from now you will revel in tales of Big Tony’s incompetence and failure.
I hope not. I like Big Tony and I hope he does well but I imagine there’s going to be some Peter Principle-ing going on. Something Joey Joe Joe mentioned to me once as a concern many years ago when we were discussing my then-career goals. Now they’re going to be rolling around in it like some dog who rolls around in some other dog’s doggy doo doo.
Fuck me. Either my hearing has gone, or she just said this.
** whimper **
Is it possible she’s hard of hearing? My dad says a lot of words wrong because his hearing is shot.
You know how sometimes people give their 2 weeks notice and are essentially checked out for those 2 weeks? My coworker gave a month notice. A whole month where she gets paid for not pulling her weight. I’m going to snap.
Guess who’s still at work? Almost 11 hours, and I’m still trying to get out of here. Big release on Friday, and of course, major pieces of information needed for my document didn’t arrive until the middle of the bloody afternoon. AND our CMS takes forever and a day to upload files. AND our IT people cut me over from regular Outlook to the new cloud-based 365 or whatever it’s called, and apparently the cut over isn’t instantaneous because I’ve been trying to send emails after restarting the program and, as far as I can tell, they’ve gone into the ether. Or the bit bucket. Probably the latter.
It’ll be another hour and a half to get home, too. The cats are going to be pissed. Or pissing. Or something.
More than likely…last week, she thought I was telling her about a co-worker named “Stevie Vee”. The co-worker’s name is Steven.
Hey asshole (I decided to stop using “co-worker” because it’s much too neutral)–when you have the pager duty, YOU are responsible for responding to ticket pages.
This means YOU need to log in every day when you come in so that YOU can acknowledge and update tickets. Don’t fucking sit there at your desk with that damn pager beeping away in your pocket and look over at me. Log in to your computer, grab that ticket and get to fucking work.
I guess maybe you’re just experimenting to see if I’ll do your work for you? I got news for you, jerk…that ain’t gonna happen.
Something I finally learned after thirty years in my bid’ness:
Never take things at work personally.
You think people are actively keeping you from doing things – opportunities, positions – but most of the time, they’re so busy keeping their ass covered and getting their little pile of work done and worrying about all the stuff going on at home and their kids are hanging out with those losers that are probably doing drugs and their car’s making a funny sound it’s probably the transmission how are they going to pay for that…
that they’re not even thinking about you!
It’s sobering, but it can be quite liberating.
So true!!!