I’d suggest under your desk next to the old computer nobody wants.
I, for once, am seriously unhappy with my job. They’re moving in a direction that I cannot support. They want to quantify our job, as if people are widgets. Management doesn’t care what you do with a case, as long as it’s done timely. It’s bull. A coworker received a gold star for reviewing cases timely. I have been working some of those gold star cases - orders never entered, charging wrong, taking punitive actions when legally we can do nothing… BUT they done on time, so all is good. Any idiot can put a note on a case. A good worker reviews the case to make sure the actions are appropriate. Management doesn’t want to have to expand energy to have to LOOK at cases. They just want to count widgets.
Management has also been sending mixed messages. Our clients are adults. Supposedly self-sufficient, and we’re supposed to treat them that way. No answering questions on things they can look up online or over our phone system. No hand holding to get them into court. At the same time, we’re now supposed to call them every few months to make sure they’re being good little boys and girls. And these calls will be counted per the above paragaph. Not WHAT is discussed, just that we call them.
And lastly, every Wednesday my laptop runs an anti-virus clean up program. It’s been taking longer and longer, to the point where I had to run it this morning since I had to leave the office yesterday. It took 7.5 hours to run, from when I logged on at 7am until 230pm. The laptop became so hot, I had to put it down. Send a help ticket to IT - you must have downloaded something. Nope, please feel free to check. Well, you must be doing something. Nope, please feel free to check. Are you working while it’s running? Of course I am, it runs at noon in the middle of the week, when I am scheduled to work (although I did take a nap today, since it hurt to have my hands on the thing). We’re not replacing laptops right now, since we’re getting new ones. When? Dunno. sigh
Again, tiny complaint - finally got this done. It’s Thursday and we’ve been trying since Monday.
What I want to know is who seriously expects the employee who’s looking for another job to tell their manager that they’re looking? (“My current manager” is the correct answer.) Let’s see what they can do in my 4 weeks before exit.
Shut the fuck up, Clueless George. Trying to show off your incredible knowledge and lecturing me about something I’m doing when I know what the fuck I’m doing and already have all the proper management approvals is pointless, stupid and only serves to PISS ME THE FUCK OFF!
“Oh, but users inherit some of those rights anyway!” is fucking useless and doesn’t help me when they’re asking for all of the rights and they’re NOT all inherited. No, it doesn’t make me want to figure out which exact rights are inherited and code around them, especially when I can (and did) just say “grant all rights on X to Y” and was done with it. I finished this task in 5 minutes and won praise for handling it swiftly and efficiently. Your way would take a half hour or more and at some point along the line, someone else would demand to know why the fuck I did it that way and tell me to do it the way I did do it. Or something would be missed and cause issues later.
Fucking arrogant know-it-all twat.
and yeah, I never mention this board to him. Don’t want him here.
My husband has 44 acres of West Texas scrubland that he uses for a hunting range. And I’ll give you an alibi. But I ain’t helping you move no bodies. We just aren’t best friends like that, sorry.
If you DO get caught and charged, though, try to get me on your jury. I’ll vote for justifiable homicide, and also nominate that you be given a medal.
I feel your pain…
One of my gripes with my current project is that when people have to choose between several options they don’t look at each of them carefully, completely, globally: they just pick whichever one has the first step they think will be easier. So, instead of taking each decision once, there are things which have been re-decided five or six times. They approve something and, a few days or weeks later, realize it’s not going to work, send it back to the blacksmiths.
I fucking hate “decisiveness” when what it actually translates to is “making decisions by pointing blindly”. And I think that’s one of the reasons HR-type shrinks tell me I “don’t have a leadership profile”: I actually look at options before chosing one, which means longer decision times.
My company uses Excel to log emails for projects. When I pulled up one of these spreadsheets yesterday, I noticed very quickly that all the file links were broken - - apparently the result of moving the spreadsheet to a new folder after the project was completed. After a little research online I figured out how to update all the hyperlinks using a macro. I still couldn’t get the damn files to open though. After about half an hour of playing with the macro, I finally spotted the problem: I thought the new folder’s name was “Project ** Archive**”…it’s actually “Project ** Achive **”. :smack:
Maybe someone put all the R’s in the Archive and there weren’t any left for the Achive.
Oh, I see. The folder was named by my team lead, Ms. “Thank you for your patients.”
Jeep’s P., if you take in critters and need a name, Achive (pronounced “ah-KIV-ee”) would be kinda fun!
So here’s the TL/DR basics + what I found out through various office grapevines about my situation:
1- the person who informed my manager that my computer wasn’t set up properly … is the same person who set it up in the 1st place.
2a- there is a more than 50/50 chance that the new computer setup wasn’t the issue at all.
2b- if it wasn’t the setup, it was the fact that years ago I was [del]forced[/del] talked into getting work emails sent to my personal smartphone. when my husband got sick, and then died, and I went on leave for those, ah, life issues, that access was revoked. it was never restored.
2c- that means there’s a good chance that my current work woes are related to the fact that my beloved got sick, and then died, which is a *helluva *kick in the teeth.
3- my machine was taken back to the IT tech who said it wasn’t done right (who did it in the 1st place) so I’m limping along on a computer that runs at approximately the speed of 1990s internet on AOL CDs via dialup (remember those? everyone with me: make the dialup noise!)
4- said IT tech is rumored to have a bad case of pinkeye.
All that, and I’m meeting my parents in an hour, because what better way to cap off a “fun” week like this than an exciting Friday night having dinner at a place I hate (explaining to them why would take longer than actually eating, so don’t even suggest it) with two people who still don’t understand why I wouldn’t so much as speak to them a couple of years ago.
Just found out today that, oh, by the way, I am moving into a shared office situation next week (from a large roomy shared room, no cubes).
That wouldn’t be so bad, the office is about 12 x 14 which would be big enough for two desks, except for a big honking pillar that sits right in the way of one of the natural desk positions.
That wouldn’t be so bad, the person I will be sharing the office with is someone who is super mellow and easy to get along with, except that the ambient temperature of the room is 67°F and nothing can (or at least nothing will) be done about it.
Frankly, I’m expecting the worst with the furniture that will be assigned, and the position in the room of said furniture, over none of which do we peons ever have any choice. But, as my mother used to say, don’t cry until you’re hurt, so I will wait and see. It’s all supposed to happen next Friday (yes, I will be working that day), so it won’t be a long wait.
My mantra: only 21 more months, only 21 more months, only 21…
Roddy
horseshoe, do you also get A/R/F errors? 
For some reason it totally cracks me up when I say it being with a bunch of guys who know I’m “functional, not technical” and watch jaws hit the floor. Yeah, I’m that old and yeah I’ve been using computers that long, I simply have never learned object-oriented programming… cos I’m that old 
And Roddy, I think you should put up a velociraptor-free poster in your new office. Oh, and maybe you could keep your eye out for the ugliest Advent calendar you can find and eventually use it to label your currently-still-distant last 40 days on the job? (For those not familiar with the things, they’re Christmasy themed contraptions with 40 little pullable tabs or boxes, you pull/open one in each day of Advent)
Nice idea (velociraptor free sign) but someone in the area beat me to it by a couple of years.
Now, the Advent calendar is a thought. (Does math) if I bought 16 different advent calendars and re-labeled all the days, that would just about cover the time until I retire. It would keep me busy, because
ahem
I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AT WORK
(sorry, did I say that out loud?)
Roddy
Four weeks.
It’s Lent that’s forty days. Hey, they both come to candy at the end; it’s easy to mix them up.
For some reason, my brain keeps processing it as “ay-CHIVE”. I like your pronunciation better.
Heh. 
I suspect the folder was named by someone in upper management.
Seeing that spelling absolutely makes my teeth itch…renaming it is out of the question though, since a) it would affect a tremendous number of project logs, and b) the folder ‘belongs’ to another department even though I do have write access.
The Bad Santa version of the advent calendar comes with aspirin at the end. That might be the one to go with in this case.
There are not enough desks and phones set up for EVERYONE, unles you IT people hurry the fuck up, this Monday is going to be some epic fail.
Because you hired all the people you could get, there are not going to be enough desks for everyone unless you set some shit up this weeekend. There are also not enough lockers to go around for everyone and their CRAP. Thanks for the paycheck and all but seriously, get some shit together ASA-motherfucking P.
Oof, I’d have to buy, like, 23 advent calendars to make it to my retirement. I’m going to have to re-think. Maybe (since I have nothing but time) I could make my own.
What goes under the little flaps? I’ve never actually seen an Advent calendar up close.
Roddy
Usually chocolate. But I’ve seen other types - how about this one?
The ones I saw as a child were just flat pictures (little holiday-ish icons) of Christmas ornaments, trees, reindeers and such.
My father had one from his childhood which had just a sentence of text, and gradually told a story of the Wise men’s journey to visit the crèche.
(Yes, it had the Wise men arriving on Christmas itself.)