Here’s another one for you, Cognoscant!
Schadenfreude is a wonderful thing!
That is hands-down the best thing I have read all day. Congratulations, Cognoscant!!
“I think we can go higher”?
Aw yeah! Let the wild rumpus begin!
I’m secondary, which is grades 7-12. And considering what I’ve been overhearing on the faculty lunchroom lately, I’m not entirely sure arsonists are automatically excluded. It’s frowned upon, of course, but I don’t think it’s a show-stopper. [insert appropriate smiley here]
Cognoscant- I’m picturing all of us in this thread doing this for you:
That made my [del] day [/del] month. Raising a glass to your great fortune!
Our users keep opening incidents that amount to “waaaaah, the system is behaving exactly as we’ve told it to behave!”
Bossman says we’re not allowed to answer “congratulations” but that we are very much expected to explain that “this is the way the system behaves when X setting says 1” and close the tickets.
Yesterday I was at Grandma’s waiting for the five-yearly gas checkup when they called me because “waaaah we have something that’s broken” (yes it is, but because of a choice their boss made, I was told to stop being negative when I tried to warn against that choice) “and you must come in now!” I explained that no, I wasn’t coming in, but if they sent me the information I’d look at the issue as soon as I could. This morning I had to ask for the information 
The warehousing guy had an incident which read “Tried move stock get error”. We asked whether he was allowed to reply “tried read mind get blank”; he isn’t. He asked for further details instead.
I swear they want automagic. Not gonna happen.
It is a constant struggle to convince people that “bug” means “doesn’t work the way it was designed to work”, not “doesn’t do this other thing I think it should do”. Especially when “bug fix” gets a quicker response than “feature request”.
“I don’t know why support people always want to know things like what browser we’re using. Why can’t you guys just stick to the issue I call about, huh?”
:headdesk:
If you’re going to call me with 5 minutes left in my day and ask for assistance with an ‘urgent’ issue…
When I try to get back to you over the course of the next two days, you should probably be available sometime to get it resolved.
Because you know, I’m logging the times I try to contact you, for when you complain to my boss that I’m not getting back to you.
My office is moving buildings. We have been informed that we will be coming in ON A SUNDAY to set up our desks etc. My parents told me I should strenuously object. I pointed out that this is SUPER BOWL SUNDAY and, trust me, strenuous objections have been voiced already.
I’ve been through more than my fair share of corporate moves and I’ve never had one happen over a weekend. I think we’re getting paid.
Oh, and a Big Honking Major Software Change that happened back in September – I know this because it rolled out the weekend before my husband died and I spent most of what I now know were our last precious hours together bitching about it – has only now been shown to be mixing up client accounts. Not clients with two accounts getting them switched or something; I mean John Public and Jane Doe at two different branches are having their accounts crossed. It’s been almost … counts on fingers … five months (Jeebus!) and we’re just now finding all these bugs and errors.
And finally, a photo that was sent in for me to use on one of the websites I’m setting up looks suspiciously like a stock photo. I plugged “{words in the photo} stock photo” into Google Image Search and just GUESS what the #1 result was?
Did you mention that it was also PUPPY BOWL SUNDAY?
I shared this with some of the support people I work with, to combos of :p:smack::D:rolleyes::mad:
ETA: oh, lordy lord, I gotta set the DVR to two different televised bowls next Sunday! How could I have forgotten about Teh Puppies!
“(Department name), this is Chimera”
(long pause)
“Hi, um… Is this (department name)?”
:smack:
I swear some day I’m just going to snarl back “Look, do you want to order a pizza or not?”
I played dumb and wrote back asking the client to please confirm that we had permission to use the image.
“No, I pulled that picture off the internet. Is that a problem?”
“I don’t know. Are you budgeting for lawsuits over unauthorized use of copyrighted material?”
Or my old favourite, it’s been on your desk for two months, but now that it’s on MY desk, it’s an emergency. :rolleyes: That really is one of the perks of being a temp - nothing I do is an emergency (and if someone wants to pretend it is, I don’t buy it).
At a previous job I had the misfortune of having a work number that was one digit off from a popular taqueria, so I would occasionally get take-out orders, usually in Spanish. I had a sign up next to my phone with the Spanish for “This is not Taqueria (name), you cannot order tacos from this number.”
I’ve found it to be the opposite. As a temp, I’m finally brought in when they realize they don’t have the manpower/expertise/time to complete something by a certain deadline and after all the legwork/time spent to actually get me in there, by that time whatever it is that needs doing was needed yesterday.
Yesterday I made a minor mistake on one piece of paper that managed to shut down production at one of our customers. I don’t appear to be in too much trouble for it, but I’m still antsy. I took all the blame and repeatedly told the customer it was totally my fault, but the difference between UPS Ground and UPS Red shut them down for the day.
But fuck them for not ordering them a day earlier when they knew they’d need them today.