On every autoflush toilet is a little button to push in case the flush mechanisim isn’t working. Just say’n. 
I’ve contributed so much to this thread, so I’m gonna anti-rant:
One of my co-workers used the words “obfuscate” and “chevron” correctly. We may need to clone him. Repeatedly.
“Clone?” Is that they’re calling it these days? 
So, my immediate boss is leaving in about three weeks, quitting for greener pastures. Apparently there are no plans to replace her; instead, her boss is going to take a “more active role” in our work.
He won’t last a month. He doesn’t have the patience or interest to care about the kinds of operational details that have been my boss’s life for the last few years. And those in sales who make it their life’s work to complain about everything to distract from the fact that they can’t sell, will easily get him running in circles until he forgets where he is.
Counting down to retirement: 17.5 months. Hope I make it.
How does one use “chevron” incorrectly?
Go co-worker! I needed some good news after a full day of “asterik” and “eg” to indicate “that is”
ETA how did I forget… 101 instances of “I’m not for sure of…”
Thank you.
I just need to know what kind of shrubbery. Or perhaps an unladen swallow?
I have only a minor complaints, really, but there’s the kind of thing which really acts like splinters under my fingernails.
(1) Make up your mind on what you want me to do. I am not a fucking mind-reader, and some people can be entirely too wishy-washy. I will do this whichever way you want, but you need to let me know if you are changing the contract and how everything is being done, as well as if you would like to hack out a major portion of how we normally run something.
I do not operate on good vibes. I can and will lay out options, but I am not usually the person making the final decision. I am the person who takes your final decision and turns it into reality.
(2) The above is happening because you’re not fucking paying attention. I am fully aware that you are very busy with Project A and Project B. If you’re not willing to give two spare thoughts to Projects C & D, then they may not work and we will run into more problems because the six people responsible for gathering information, making decisions, and keeping things on track just shrugged.
This is a bad habit the company’s leadership has: chase the next big project and ignore your current business, or even the projects you are implementing this very minute, until somebody gets really pissed. Then it becomes a priority and you bend over and take anything they whine about because you’ve stretched your resources insanely thin.
(3) Boss, I like you. You’re a good man and the only supervisor I’ve ever had who is younger than I. You’re smart and you know the systems.
Stop handing me projects late on Friday. You do not manage me closely, which is fine and fits the work. But you also don’t know everything else I’m doing, and I can’t actually give clients the finger when they need something immediately. Yes, we don’t technically promise them instant service, but you and I both know they will bawl their little hearts out if we don’t fix all their mistakes and do their work for them. Further, you don’t get to assume that a project takes only five minutes just because it uses Excel. You’re smarter than that. Finally, it does not actually help when you keep revising what you need and how you need it until the literal last minute before you leave.
And frankly, I might not actually be available on the weekend just because you need it, nor am I generally available Mondays no matter what you want, because your boss takes priority. If you wanted the numbers fixed, you probably should have brought this up several weeks ago.
I’m on assignment this week, and I’m not letting it get to me (since I put in a solid day’s work), but it’s making me wonder about folks as usual. I’m in for a week simply to photocopy a whole mess of files they need sent out for an audit - they need 600 files photocopied by end of day Friday. I got four done today. They’re not thrilled.
I could have told them that photocopying big ol’ files is incredibly fiddly, time-consuming work, but no one ever asks me!
ETA: I forgot the biggest time-consumer - the photocopier was jamming about every 50 pages - I cleared multiple jams probably 30 times today.
See, the problem is, just saying “600 files” doesn’t really give us the scope of the problem. Is that how the job was presented to your agency?
Maybe if they had said how many pages needed to be copied, your agency could have made a suggestion about how long the job should take (I presume the number of available photocopiers is a limiting factor).
How many pages does the job comprise, btw?
I don’t think the job was well-qualified at all - they just needed a whack of files copied, so the agency sent in a temp. We’ll see how it goes tomorrow - I’ve done plenty of photocopying of complex files in my day, and I seriously doubt that I can get over 100 done in one day.
ETA: Sorry, I missed your question - I have no idea how many pages, but the four files I got copied today filled about three-quarters of a normal-sized file box.
I work on the top floor of a 16-storey building. There are two banks of 3 elevators each - one for floors 2-9, the other for floors 9-16. The elevator maintenance guys have been faffing about with “my” elevators for about 6 months and one of the three is completely out of commission. It’s not unusual to have a 10-15 minute wait for an elevator.
Today the elevator electrical system crashed and the building maintenance staff had to operate the elevators the old-fashioned way, stopping at each floor because the call buttons didn’t work. We were told to use the stairs going down.:smack:
16 storeys. Two flights of stairs per floor. Nine steps per flight. My knees are shot. Fortunately, our two disabled employees are on leave this week.
Do these have staples and paper clips and odd-sized pages?
Lots of them. Lots and lots of them.
Is that even legal? Are you going to have to walk up the stairs tomorrow? Do you get paid for that time. Holy cow!
I’m now having flashbacks to explaining to people why it took so long to scan their files. Its the fucking staples.
3 stapled documents stapled together were always fun, but the best part was if the stapler was fucking batshit insane and went nuts with his/her weapon of misery. Staples on the right side of the pages, staples in the bottom of the pages, staples in the fucking middle of the pages.
Oh, and don’t forget about the documents that were stapled when they were copied, which makes you rub the staple puller around until you figure it out.
I could scan 2 banker boxes of files on a good day, if that was all I did. Fucking staples.
Time for a Tale from the Past…
My supervisor asked me to work an evening event. This wasn’t part of my job when I was hired and I don’t like it, but I’ll do it occasionally. If I have to do it on a regular basis I’ll be looking for a new job. I said I would work this event if I could come in late the next day because I had a night class, and I didn’t want to be so tired I couldn’t focus in class. She said that would be fine. I came in a little late the day of the event (about 10–most people when they have to work these events come in at noon or 1 or even later). The next day I came in around noon, and my supervisor went nuts. “Where have you been!!! Rawr rawr rawr.” So, this is the thanks I get for doing her a favor. Yeah, please sign me up for more of that! :rolleyes:
I had a feeling you would understand. One of the very large files that took me two hours to photocopy consisted of almost nothing but printed out emails - two or three pages each, every one of them stapled together. Oh, the icing on that cake - most of the emails were two pages because of the fucking autosignatures and logos and shit like that. The actual content was usually one or two paragraphs.
ETA: When a document has 25 staples to hold 10 pages together, I call it “staple build-up,” and I eliminate it whenever I can - removing all the extra staples and replacing them with one logical staple.
Bingo. Former manager e-mails me and requests a meeting tomorrow, wanting advice. I told her no, as I’m busy all day then and Thursday as well. (I also forwarded the e-mail to my new manager with an explanation of them losing their remaining experienced person in that position.) Former manager follows up with a request for a 15-minute phone call, as she says she really needs advice. I’m tempted to suggest going back in time and at least interviewing the experienced employee.
I hate multiple staples. I’m known around the office for keeping the staple remover (which we call the “dolphin”) at arm’s reach. After I’m done with it, only ONE staple will hold these pages together! :mad:
Minor rant. I wasn’t able to print something out at work today because the printer wasn’t working and my boss wasn’t around and my coworkers were too busy for me to get help. Oh well, it can wait until tomorrow I suppose.
Also, on the upside, I haven’t seen Insane Staring Woman in a while - or perhaps, she hasn’t seen me.