Mrs. Trumper: Let me stress one thing above all else. You must report any damp or smelly beds immediately.
Ruth/Vesta Rose: Do you mean…
Mrs. Trumper: INCONTINENCE! Bedwetters have no place in the Golden Twilight home!
Ok, this is where, me being me, I would find a good time, walk in to her office, close the door and have a serious chat about this.
Or buy her a printed dictionary, with all the wrong words and their correct replacements (if you can figure them out) highlighted and tabbed.
Or reply to her memo, only to her (but BCC everyone else) and say “I think you meant “incompetence.” “Incontinence” means that you wet your bed and that you need a diaper. No-one believes that you are incontinent.”
This last I might do on my last day, if I really didn’t like her.
Nah. Better to get her a box of depends, put a bow on them, make a copy of the note, highlight the offending word and write hth on the outside. Leave the whole thing on her desk.
And miss out on the whole “How DARE you speak to me this way, I’m ABOVE you! I’m your superior! HOW DARE YOU!” routine while I’m actively trying to help them - WHILE pointing out that pretty much everyone in the known universe is laughing at their sorry, stupid ass behind their backs? And if I see this, don’t they think their bosses and peers see this as well?
Never.
Ah yes, it’s once again time to watch the traditional Easter movie: Life of Brian.
"He has a wife, you know. You know what she’s called? She’s called… ‘Incontinentia’… Incontinentia Buttocks "
Incompetence? Inconvenience? Who knows, when she seem to assign random meanings to words (or random words to meanings)?
I think I would also be very tempted to have a lot of fun at her expense - like pretend that she actually meant incontinence, and ask her about where you can get a mop and bucket, and where the puddle was? 
Well, they didn’t have much choice, especially since they’re the ones who caused that situation.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that happening, even at my previous job, which was union.
She is relying on auto-correct when she types her emails. I typically reread everything I type before I send it, but I have found cases where I sent something almost this boneheaded. Almost.
No, no, what happens is that horseshoe works with EmilyG.
At the Postal service, it’s called “penalty overtime.” It kicks in if one exceeds 12 hours on a normal workday, or 8 hours on a sixth workday of the week.
My useless co-workers are not medicating my cats. I work with two other people in that section. At least one of them should be on this, for fuck’s sake. Now one of my cats is going to die without getting the chance he deserved because those lazy bastards don’t want to do their jobs.
They don’t treat ear mites, either. We’re constantly getting in trouble because so many of our cats have ear mites that won’t go away. Because they’re only being treated the three days a week that I’m down there and that doesn’t really work on ear mites.
I’m so sick of those two. They just really don’t seem to want to do their jobs at all. I really, really wish they’d both get fired and we’d get someone better. I’m not sure why they haven’t already been.
I wish they would get fired too. Poor kittehs. They deserve better.
Fuck speakerphone. My department has a large conference table in our area; it happens to be right outside the door to my shared office. Some people decided it was absolutely necessary to conduct a speakerphone meeting (via cell phone) at that table this morning. :mad: Fortunately, I have headphones and an iPod.
Today I get a call. I’ll paraphrase;
Him: “Hi, we’re not getting this table that this other group provides to us, and I can’t see this other thing in MSAccess”
Me: Well, we don’t support MSAccess with our database environment, so you’re on your own with that one. <interrupted>
Him: “Well ok, what about the table we’re not getting? Should I have that group call you?”
Me: I’d prefer that you email me all of the details on this so I can…
Him: <CLICK>
Ok, fine. I wanted you to email me this so I could keep some records and maybe note who to deal with if this comes up in the future. But if you’re that much of an ass, just hang up and call them yourself, like you probably should have fucking done in the first place. Honestly, if YOU know who it is your getting the file from, and you didn’t get it, why the fuck are you going to call them and instead of dealing with it yourself, tell them to call ME about it??? What the fuck am I supposed to do? Ask them to please send you the file? Like you should be doing? Why am I being involved? :dubious:
And yeah, I was a bit of a dick on the MSAccess thing. We very specifically DO NOT support it, and I don’t like bending that one to teach people how to properly use a tool we don’t fucking support, or they just keep demanding more and more support on it. “But you helped me last time” becomes a constant refrain.
Note to self:
The correct response is: I’m sorry, we are out of [the product you are looking for and desperately want for Easter dinner] we expect to get more in on Tomorrow’s Truck.
Speculating on whether it’s a sale item, or whether not enough was ordered or whether the warehouse didn’t send all we ordered . . . NOT HELPFUL.
Get a rain check, either way. If they can’t honor it until after Easter, just notify the rest of us, and we’ll put off Easter another week.
I hate speakerphones. The Bosshole I used to work for would talk to everyone by speakerphone, even if he was just sitting at his desk doing nothing else. You see, he was Big and Important and wanted everyone else to know who he was talking to. And then he would yell at the person on the other end of the conversation to speak up because he was on a speakerphone. Sometimes I still have flashbacks about that place… :mad:
Got a call four hours before I was due to go in to work today-- the person who was supposed to open my department no called/no showed. Someone who knew how to close was working in the neighboring department, so if I could come in early and open . . .
I went.
It was an exhausting day, but wasn’t as bad as it could have been-- I had untrained help for several hours, and still didn’t keep up with all the stuff that needed keeping up with, but some days are just like that.
And if the co-worker fails to show again tomorrow morning, it won’t be my problem. (Someone else is scheduled for a mid-shift, so I don’t feel bad about planning to leave my phone in my car during several hours of church services. I sing in the choir-- each service is only an hour or so).
I have to admit-- I’m a little ambivalent about whether I want co-worker to show tomorrow or not. I have a feeling that if she doesn’t show tomorrow, she may be out of a job, but I’m not super excited about the odds of getting a really good replacement for her.
I’ve already shut my phone off!
Despite my earlier griping about my current job, there is one good thing. When we finally got my new manager hired, he told me, “You have seniority. You can choose your days off and your schedule.”
So I picked Sunday-Monday as my days off. I’m the bass guitarist at my church, and I hate not being able to be there. My previous job, where I typically had Sundays off, had me stuck helping with the Easter brunch buffet at the hotel for the last 8 years, and now I finally get to actually be at church on Easter this year.