My husband does that. I occasionally have to resist the urge to bash him over the head with his keyboard.
One of my coworkers does it, too. We’ve pointed out that the way he treats his laptop might be at least part of the reason it’s working badly. We got identical laptops at the same time: maybe his is a lemon, but really, a cracked screen already? It wasn’t cracked when he got it, but hey, I don’t sit on my backpack when the laptop’s inside (or at all, actually). The rest of us don’t slam the cover open and closed, either; I didn’t even know it was possible to slam a cover open, but it is, he does it.
He’s got his good points but today he was having one of those days that make me want to tell the guy in question to go see a doc because really, PMS is not normal in a dude and there are pills for it. Only, I don’t do it since I’ve had instances when I was justifiedly angry and some asshole assumed “you were just PMSing”, but I really really want to. He managed to piss off my main customer by telling him that he wasn’t allowed to do something which is my customer’s core task the way we’ve already agreed it will be done (1); later he was cracking jokes at the expense of my accent. To the customers. Who by the way are Swedish, so English isn’t their native language either, and yes many of them speak English as well as I write, but not all, and like me all of them have some things they’ll never get quite right - and they know it. And the son of the Great Britain in question don’t speak nuthin’ but English and that badly (2), so who the fuck gave him the right to criticise? He’s really, really pissed me off today.
(1) If we don’t do it this way, but in the simpler way His Lordship wanted, then His Lordship’s reports won’t have the right data, Purchasing won’t work correctly, Sales won’t have a correct Profitability Analysis, Costing will be sideways, but what do you mean that’s important? If I can do something in two steps, I will not use three - if I’m doing it in six, it’s because we fucking need six!
(2) He can’t string a sentence together without tossing a pair of "you know?"s and two or three "I mean"s, and any time he explains something he explains 2/3 of it, goes back to about 1/3, goes all the way to the end, then explains it all again from the beginning. That’s when he doesn’t get completely lost on a side discussion of the relative merits of paper vs cloth napkins (we’re not working for a restaurant chain, it’s an industrial company, and no, they don’t make napkins).
Its really easy. When you hit the keys harder, it sends more energetic electrons into the document or page, and the people on the end unconsciously pick up on that extra energy. Or if they don’t, it’s because they’re oblivious.
This afternoon seemed to be dragging on and on until I realized that the digital clock on the wall stopped running.
I had thought that, but she’s not that much older than me – I doubt she’s ever touched a manual typewriter.
Fortunately, this lady is otherwise very sweet and quiet. The people she’s doing the temp work for, on the other hand, are a bit hard of hearing, and can get very loud.
Yeah. I do know that she has a very heavy workload right now…maybe the hard typing is just her working extra hard.
Replying to self, to give background.
So. The job was advertised internally, to paid staff and volunteers. Paid staff were to contact Mr Management, and volunteers to contact Ms Manager.
I contacted Ms Manager, as per the advert, she told me to phone Mr Management, and gave me his number at the charity. It kept ringing out, then going to main switchboard which was engaged. (no voicemail)
I showed my initiative, found his email address on the charity website, and emailed him my expression of interest, details, and asked for an application.
Silence. Other staff give me his mobile number, I leave voicemails. Silence. I text him again to see if he even got the first email? Silence.
Finally last night, I get an email basically saying they’d changed their mind and are just transferring another manager from another branch into the job, so there’s no vacancy. I know another lady who also wanted to apply (and had expressed interest by the deadline) who is raging. I’m just a bit - blah.
Anyone familiar enough with UK HR law to know what rules they’ve broken by not even making this guy apply for the job? 
My supervisor specializes in making things much more difficult than they need to be. We’re working on a big project right now, and we have problems (which will cost money to fix) that have arisen that could have been avoided if she had done one very simple thing. So of course now it’s on me to fix this problem, and I’m working on several big projects right now which also have urgent things that need to be dealt with immediately, and she expects me to get it all done. Sorry, I can’t bend the laws of time and space to do three things at the same time. I can multitask, but there are limits.
Also she doesn’t understand why I can’t get work done if I’m in meetings. :rolleyes: I really can’t make phone calls and be in a meeting at the same time. If anyone has figured out how to do this I’d like to know how.
Screw it, I’m going to lunch.
Oh, yeah–something else from this morning–she forwards me unimportant emails multiple times, but she does not forward emails containing documents that I need to do high-priority projects that need to be done right away. :rolleyes:
Cinnamon Imp, that sucks. I hope you find a job in a place where the management is much better.
One more thing…my supervisor expects things to be done right away when they realistically will take at least several days (but probably a week or more) to get done. I need to make phone calls (which takes longer when I’m in meetings a lot and can’t actually talk to people on the phone), and people have to make decisions and then we need to schedule a time for the work to be done, which usually takes some time because we are not everybody’s first priority. The next few days are going to be unpleasant. I might have a job at the end of next week. Or not.
MagicEyes, you have my sympathies. You have even more of them if your supervisor ever tells you to “work smarter, not harder”.
She hasn’t said that. Yet. I’m sure that’s coming, and I’ll let you know when it happens.
Lately she’s been complaining that I work too fast. :rolleyes: Yep. I work too fast.:rolleyes: And yet she keeps dumping more and more work on me and expecting me to get it done in the same amount of time. If I didn’t work fast, I don’t know how she thinks I would get it all done.
MagicEyes, I used to have a boss who (although she had many good qualities) apparently believed that saying “Work smarter, not faster” was magic and actually would enable me to do the job of three people in one-third the time.
News from on-high, as the acquisition proceeds. Just lost a week of paid vacation, and the take sick time when you need it policy is gone and replaced with 5 paid sick days. (Yes, I know it’s become the standard in most businesses. I don’t care. It’s a STUPID standard. Plus, 20+ years into my career, it would be NICE to get past the pure entry-level leave policies. Stupid corporate layoffs and buyouts and failures and … ARRRRRRRGH.)
With the “you can’t work from home when sick” policy in place, I predict a lot of people will be spending a lot of time in the office when they ought to be home. His Loogieness either has never comprehended, or, more likely, just doesn’t care, that there are days when you’re not too sick to work effectively but you are too sick to be in the office.
I catch a lot of colds. I hope I get to share some of them with him. :mad::mad::mad: Penny-pinching, mean (as in small, cheap, ugly, ill-made), weasel.
From the Sr. VP on my floor (who I don’t report to, but still “Boss Lady On The Floor”) earlier this week;
“As we head into cold and flu season, let’s make sure to take good care of ourselves and remember that if you’re sick, do not bring it to the office.”
And ohfuckmetohell, my boss decided to change the ground rules to my ‘this is way too big for one person, but good luck!’ project in mid stream, after I delivered my first draft of one of the deliverables. :smack::smack::smack::mad::mad:
Maybe I got the better end of the deal after all. If nothing else, I won’t have to work for this guy anymore.
(for those of you who don’t know. Morgyn and I work together IRL and have on and off for the last 18+ years 
)
Hey, bitchface accounting lady - I’m SORRY I don’t know the correct procedure to route clients your way. It’s only changed 100 times in the past two months and I’m only here once a week. All this person wanted to do was give us money - she didn’t even have to see me, but reception thought she did. I try to hand her to you and get snipped at. Bite me, heifer.
And client? Which part of “I cannot tell you ANYTHING” do you not understand? I thought I was pretty clear “Without him signing a release, I can’t even confirm he has a case”. Quit asking me specific questions that I cannot answer. It may be stupid, but it’s the law. Would you want me giving your info to anyone who comes in?
Ten more minutes… ten more minutes… ten more minutes…
Today’s academic bullshit bingo challenge - how many synonyms for “work together” can you create?
Collaborate
Build connections
Reach out
Cultivate relationships
Outreach
I just got an email from someone on campus that used each of these at least once, some more than once, in an email of three paragraphs.
Someone must have gone to a management training workshop recently.
Whenever collaborate comes up I am reminded of this XKCD.
Well, it is true that XKCD has a strip/panel for every situation
I am creating a Buzzword Bingo card for our next big meeting so my fellow faculty and I can entertain ourselves.
Dear Boss:
I get what you are trying to do with the schedule, but really, if flakey newbies are going to be hired as night people (people who work evenings and weekends–the time my boss is least likely to be around, but many customers are), don’t you think it would make sense to schedule someone who can keep an eye on them?
Since I’m not stuck functioning as night supervisor, I don’t plan to fuss at my boss. She’s got enough stress right now. But I hope she spends as much time lecturing the acting night supervisors on how to set a good example as she has those of us she isn’t scheduling at night right now.
Hey, coworker. I realize that English is your second language, but since you have a Master’s degree from a university here, I’d assumed that you would understand a simple instruction of “Do not release this information to clients; this is corporate intellectual property”. If I’m handling an issue, don’t gallop off and handle it “for” me. Just stop.
And YOU, in the office in overseas! Stop claiming that I stopped work on the project, like I just skipped off to look at the pretty autumn leaves and didn’t come back. Our mutual SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT told us to stop work on the project and re-assess our approach after I discovered that our process was seriously flawed.
Oh, and ***really ***don’t try that trick of lying to the senior VP again. And yes, only giving half-truths falls under “lying”. I will throw your tuchus under the bus.
And since I’m bitching, I really hate the mostly-open-office plan that allows people to lean on my neighbor’s cube wall and chit-chat and “collaborate”. You know what that is? A fucking distraction and annoyance to the other people trying to work.