Workplace griping, anyone?

To my co-worker posting on Facebook today about how dedicated she is to her job because she’s in the office working not only on a Sunday but a holiday weekend complete with picture of her desk so we know she’s really in the office… save it sister.

I know you got called on the carpet last week for not being anywhere close to your productivity numbers. We have numbers that we’re supposed to hit every week but they’re more of a guideline than a hard quota. As long as you’re close most weeks no one is going to say anything to you. Some weeks I’m over, some weeks I’m under. Boss doesn’t care because it all evens out.

But this chick was missing by a mile every week for the last month. Coming in late, taking long lunches and spending an hour or more each day flitting around socializing will do that to you.

So stuff your “dedication”. You’re just trying to save your ass this week. That and I don’t know how much work you’re actually doing when you’ve posted seven other things on Facebook in the last fifteen minutes.

In a job I had with a software company some 15+ years ago I had a cow-orker who resembled yours. Usually, she stayed to “work” late. Of course, first she would order supper in, which involved about an hour or so of seeing who else was “working” late, and deciding where to order from. By the time supper was received, paid for and eaten, it would be at least 6:30. Then she’d do about 2-3 hours work which included an hour or so chatting and gossiping.

Next morning she would arrive late, around 10 AM, moaning about how late she’d worked the night before. Another hour or so of having coffee, breakfast, chatting an gossiping. Then about an hour of work. Oops, lunchtime, which takes another 2 hours. Another 2 hours of work, interspersed with chatting, gossiping and complaining. Oh, it’s getting near quitting time, better see about ordering dinner.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

She also had a reputation with the top brass for completing things quickly. Problem is, most of her code was sloppy and buggy and most of the rest of the programmers knew it. Other teams were constantly having to debug and fix her stuff. I remember one application that was already in release and there were regular needs for her to fix data that had somehow become corrupted. I had one of my team do some intensive line-by-line live debugging for about a day and a half. She found the problem with the code and fixed it. Somehow that wasn’t as valued as having the original programmer ride to the rescue about once a week or so.

In contrast, one of my team members was known for coming in way early so he could get a lot of work done while the office was quiet. He would work steadily for 4 hours or so, eat lunch, work another 3 - 4 hours and go home. His code was beautiful, well-structured and well-commented. Most of that went unnoticed by the top brass despite many attempts to bring this to their attention.

It’s available in Lotus now, as an icon.

Interesting that they’ve changed. Might be because this is most useful in the manger/employee situation, and IBM Lotus notes is mainly used at big companies.

But I haven’t worked at a company that uses Lotus for many years.

The system doesn’t change your password unilaterally. You mistyped it. Yes, all 5 times. No, it doesn’t lock you out because it’s an asshole but for security. No, I can’t set your password to password. Yes, everyone has to have numbers and capitals in their password. No, sharing your password with your coworker is not 21 CFR compliant. Not even if he promises to keep it secret. headdesk headdesk headdesk
I hate the phone.

So there’s a mass exodus happening:

One is leaving because he couldn’t get a FT position (his background in some ways reminds me of Mister Rik). He’s embroiled in an awful family situation which will screw him financially if he doesn’t garner a higher pay rate. He got the job and didn’t bother giving a week’s notice.

Another is leaving because she simply can no longer physically do the work. I can’t blame her. She’s in her early 60s and shouldn’t be doing heavy lifting, especially after a shoulder injury which sidelined her for a good portion of last year.

One of the young’uns is leaving because she no longer “feels important” and doesn’t take to the idea that everybody should be able to do everything. She was taken out of a visible position because there were too many complaints about her work. She refuses to believe this. The young’un who took her place is quickly following in the same footsteps.

So basically that leaves my manager, his assistant, and me to run the place. This isn’t unusual in this line of work. We’ll all end up working 6 days/week, maybe 7 as the holidays draw closer. You’d think from the very vocal, very loud complaints this is the end of the world. Really, guys, you’re MANAGEMENT, so STFU and suck it up. Gah.

Yesterday overheard one coworker telling another how she got a great price on a second-hand purse because she “Jewed him down.”

And just now another coworker (male, older, supervisor) greeted another (younger, female, subordinate) with the words, “Good lord, you look rode hard and put away wet!” He said this loudly, for the whole world to hear, no shame.

I am choosing to believe both of these people simply don’t know better. That they do not know that what they said was so offensive. Because I really like both of them, darn it! (Or at least I used to…we shall see, I guess.)

(“Jewed them down” lady is older, already in semi-retirement, which must be her excuse…it’s a generational thing. And I think “rode hard” guy simply does not know what that expression means…because it really doesn’t fit his personality as I know it to say something like that.)

Makes me think of my boss, who is always telling people that so-and-so “has a hard-on” for such and such project, etc. This is a older, devoutly Christian, somewhat prudish guy. It’s so out of character it makes me laugh every time.

I must not know either. As far as I know to be ridden hard and put away wet simply means to be improperly cared for and someone who looks it is someone who needs a shower and a hairbrush and maybe a glass of wine.

I’m with Inner Stickler on that one. “Rode hard and put away wet” has always referred to horseback riding where I live. As in taken out for vigorous exercise and then put back in the stall without being sponged or toweled off and brushed down. Basically he was saying was that she looked like she had just come from the gym without hitting the showers first. Or that she had just had a real rough day.

What did you think he meant?

eta: WiseGeek seems to agree.

Well, I’m honestly relieved to hear there are other interpretations out there! Like I said, it didn’t fit the image I had of this guy.

I’ve only ever heard it used in a sexual context, as in the girl is so worthless you “ride her” hard and then don’t bother with her again. But googling it I see the horseback riding context is far more prevalent.

That’s my ignorance fought, thank you!

The “ridden hard and put away wet” saying has crossed with the the “riding = sex” euphemism. So if a man says that about a woman, it’s likely that people think he’s implying she’s been “ridden” (i.e., had sex). Not that she just got out of a hot yoga class.

Well I guess that’s my ignorance fought as well then.

I guess the default interpretation would be more of a generational thing. Based on the age of the speaker.

Management is trying to work out the “incentive” structure for my program. Sales are not actually “sales” because “we,” an insurance company, are simply trying to move existing “customers,” medical facilities, from receiving payments from patient claims via paper checks to direct deposit into their bank accounts. Responses range from, “Doctor likes seeing and feeling checks,” to, “Thank God! I wish all of my payers would do that.” Heavy on the latter; I called one woman just when she had a stack of fifty checks from us in front of her that she had to post manually.

Sales (S) can be broken roughly into two groups: S[sub]1[/sub] is my primary goal, where I walk the person through the basic registration process. Very simple, takes four minutes without monkey wrenches, two if they type quickly and don’t need hand holding. S[sub]2[/sub] is actually three subsets, but they all sum up to me sending an email or fax with a link, with hopes that they follow up. Management doesn’t want us concentrating only on the S[sub]1[/sub] sales and ignoring the lesser ones. I disagree, seeing an S[sub]2[/sub] as both a success for the program and the default for when I fail to make an S[sub]1[/sub], both being positives, just not all that positive. But I’m a big-picture guy, and they are trying to make something that works for the S[sub]1[/sub]=GOOD, S[sub]2[/sub]=BAD crowd you would encourage if there were only a commission on an S[sub]1[/sub]. The result is a system where our weekly pay is our base plus an additional amount hourly (ranging from $0 to $3.00), based on our sales-per-hour (S/T) AND the ratio between S[sub]1[/sub] sales and total sales (S[sub]1[/sub]/S). To reach the top rate we need S/T=3.75 or better AND S[sub]1[/sub]/S=40%. For instance:

T = 38.75 (our scheduled weekly hours)
S = S[sub]1[/sub] + S[sub]2[/sub] = 150
S[sub]1[/sub] = 60

which gives:

S/T = 3.87 (greater than 3.75)
S[sub]1[/sub]/S = 40%

We are not allowed pens or paper for security reasons, and we can only track our own performance through that moment on that day, using a computer app that can be notional. At first management would show us all a paper showing everybody’s performance to date, but that lasted three days. Now we have to gripe to get the numbers from the previous week, and without that the only way we usually know how well we did is by our paychecks. This is unsatisfactory.

One will also note that T * $3 = $116.25, while if I got a lousy $2 commission on each S[sub]1[/sub] and zip on each S[sub]2[/sub] my commission would total $120, without need for tracking anything else, as S[sub]2[/sub]'s are nearly automatic–outright refusals for me average around five paper fetishists* a day.

And what if I spend my week walking people through the S[sub]1[/sub] process, which can take twenty minutes? My S[sub]1[/sub] rate goes up while S/T goes down because I am devoting less time to overall sales; I’ve watched the snapshot change when my S[sub]1[/sub] rate approaches 50%, where I’m being more successful but my sales-per-hour drops below the threshold of me making maximum money. This doesn’t seem fair, somehow, and I’d like to make a chart showing the sweet area where S/T is 3.75 or greater and S[sub]1[/sub] is 40% or greater, but I’m out of head meds and wasn’t much good with math, singular or plural, ever, so it’s taken me two hours to suss out this much. :frowning: I’ll get back to it later when I’m better medicated and get out of my head the suspicion that the chart will need to be 3D and I have a proper spreadsheet (you can’t do shit with Excel Starter 2010).

Mostly, my complaint is that the system is too complex and disincentivises the preferred type of success (maximum S[sub]1[/sub]) to create an artificial incentive for a secondary target (S[sub]2[/sub]) in order to raise sales per hour because that’s the overall metric by which everybody here is judged, whether they are doing what I do or selling magazines.

    • Yes, I know their reasons make sense, for them, and that’s why we aren’t forcing them to go electronic, yet. But it is where things are going and other payers are already more insistent. Sometime in the next couple years they won’t be able to get checks from any insurance companies and will have to go cash-only. Some already have, but with the ACA they are going to be limiting their patients to illegal immigrants soon. I think some do, already.

Yeah I would have read that 100% of the time as the non sexual context, unless the speaker had a history or in the telling alluded to another meaning.

I once got to hear a Navy chaplain tell me that about a house he wanted to buy.

I really wish I had had the presence of mind to tell him “Mazel tov” (or at least “Shalom”) when I got up from the table.

I am so stealing that.

One of my dear co-workers has gone on some kind of “cleansing” diet that is causing him to produce epic craps. He just finished describing one to the department’s manager in graphic detail.

Godammitsomuch.

Fuck you Corporate IT and the software updates you rode in on.

I had 31 fucking updates just a couple of days ago. Today I get in, my computer is slow and sometimes non-responsive and I can’t get anything done. Why? Because an hour into my fucking day, it’s installing ANOTHER 18 updates and then suddenly tells me it’s going to reboot RIGHT FUCKING NOW. No warning, no option to cancel or delay it so I can save stuff, just “Restarting”.

If I was an executive and my computer did this, I’d wander down to the people in charge of this, ask who was responsible and fire their ass on the spot as a warning to the rest of the team that this shit is not acceptable.

So, sneak into the CEO’s office and swap computers with him while he isn’t looking…

And… an hour and a half later it suddenly gave me another countdown to rebooting to install more shit. No option to not do it. Good thing that meeting got cancelled, or it would have done it while I was trying to give a presentation.

Fucking Brilliant.