We are out of coffee at work. We are also out of salt. I bring my fancy pants coffee from home and I don’t use salt on my already over salted frozen lunches. I’m not going to replace either of those. Shredder guy can just whine, he’s the only other person there.
Serious work rant now. I am not allowed to leave the warehouse unattended, but shredder guy can’t do such things as write down messages. Don’t answer the phone, you idiot, just let it go to voicemail. It really makes me want to do the headdesk thing when shredder guy tells me that someone called and he doesn’t remember who it was or what department. STOP anwering the phone!!!
Now I have to stay at my desk for lunch. Getting out of the warehouse for half an hour was the only thing that has kept me from killing shredder guy.
When you folks read about someone getting shoved into an industrial shredder feet first, please don’t tell them about this post.
Completely off-topic, but I bought those shoes this weekend because of this post. Thank you for encouraging me to contribute to the capitalist economy.
Half of us in the office are shuffling zombies because of the powerful thunderstorms that rolled through here about 2 am. I can barely see or think, so I have absolutely no love for the one dumbcunt who said “What storms?” What storms, indeed. You missed that racket? You … missed that everything was soaking wet this morning?
I am so fucking jealous of people who can sleep right through loud booms, pouring rain, and bright strobe light effects. What the fuck is your secret, Dumbcunt? Ambien? Booze? (I’m afraid of the former and no stranger to the latter.)
I just figured out that my boss is taking family members out for dinner when he’s in town and charging it to the company (I have access to his calender and I compared the receipt to his calendar entry for that night). I know he’s been doing it for a while since he often goes out for $140 dinners ‘alone’, but now I have proof.
But, there isn’t really anything I can do about it. This is something that I can’t really tattle on him for. Ugh, my boss is such a dick. He hates this company and I know he tries to get everything he can out of them, yet he complains when he’s asked to reduce his expenses.
I can’t wait to get out of this place. I’m still waiting to hear back from a job interview I had last week but I kind of lost a bit of hope when they didn’t call by Friday.
The president of this division, who is one of his bosses. And it’s not just him that’s been asked, it’s everyone (they want travel expenses reduced by 15% for 2011, if possible). The president has spoken to him directly about his high expenses, but he does nothing about it. He doesn’t live here (even though that was contingent on his hiring - once he was in, he decided not to move here) so has to fly in a couple of times a month - yeah, having an absent boss is AWESOME - and when he’s here, his vehicle rental is a luxury and he stays in the best hotels and eats at the nicest restaurants. I do his expenses and he spends thousands on travel a month. When it comes to meetings that he has in his home city, he charges his parking and meals, and takes people out for lunch and dinner ALL THE TIME (yet has never taken me out - nice).
Seriously, this guy is the worst boss in the history of bosses. I have so many bad things to say about him and zero good things to say. I am still unsure about why he hasn’t been fired yet.
Whenever my boss would take me out to lunch, he’d submit it for reimbursement. He wouldn’t even spend fifteen dollars of his own money to take his assistant out to lunch. It’s not like we were talking about business, either.
I had to run an errand twice that was a 20-something round trip in my car. Hey, boss would submit the mileage for reimbursement, so why can’t I?
He got so mad that I submitted my mileage for reimbursement that he made me take his company car the second time I had to run this errand.
I’d kick that upstairs to the accountant who approves his expenses. No way would I process that - I’d reject is as a personal expense. His monkeying around with expenses in his home city, too - I’d be going over them with a fine-toothed comb. I used to love doing expense reports - being anal retentive is a plus in that job.
**Some Admin: **Do you plan on cleaning up the deck for this meeting on Thursday?
**Me: **I haven’t even looked at what’s going around yet
(I check with the person who sent the latest version and see that it was addressed to Different Admin.)
**Me: **I checked, and Different Admin is pulling the deck together and proofing it. Some Admin: Okay, good, then I won’t worry about the formatting
Really, bitch? You’re going to dump work from your consultant onto another admin just because you found out she’s going to be doing a final pass? Wow.
This brain trust also waited until today to schedule the hotel, and possibly flights, for her consultant who’s coming in for the meeting. Shockingly, everything we usually suggest is booked up. Fabulously, she keeps asking me about other options. I gave you the relevant addresses, bitch: fucking search based on them and pick something close by.
But - but, you’ve already proven yourself capable of averting disasters brought about by other people’s poor planning (and allowing those poor planners to accept credit for everything coming together according to the initial vision). Don’t you feel like being a team player any more?
Oh, I know what it is. You’re just havin’ a case of the Mondays, aren’t ya?
Hey, we was all playing Cripple Mr Onion at the time. As long as you agree to allow access to the shredder for the next person to incur a poster’s wrath.
And it’s always a nice touch to feed the idjit into the shredder feet first.
** sniffs thread, pokes with stick ** Still fresh?
Since y’all have been so entertained by the exploits of our technologically-challenged temp, I’m sharing one more from today. Office convo turned to, professionally enough, YouTube, and the chatter was along the lines of “So what’s your favorite video?”
She said:
I’ve only seen one YouTube video in my entire life.
I just don’t know quite what to think: what does that say about her? How many people do you think can make that claim these days?
