Oh, and yes, yes they do expect that.
The only people who have really gotten past me are the guys who use the ‘breezy first name to imply familiarity’ trick. (I was sure it was our VP of Tech Ops - it sounded just like him!)
I was offered a promotion (read: more work, same pay) and turned it down (gracefully). They hired a guy for the job who had worked 2 weeks for us last year, in a lesser position, and walked out without any notice. WTF? Anyway, he is making my life a living hell. I can do his job and my job with one hand tied behind my back, and this annoys him for some reason. I thought managers were supposed to treat their workhorse with respect and occasional praise? Apparently not. May he rot in hell or better yet, decide to leave again.
I hear you. I just had to come in on my day off for the second time this week because half my coworkers didn’t show up. When the hell did showing up for work become a résumé-worthy skill? How did these people make it through primary school without grasping that basic concept?
I loved having a boss whose name had a non-standard pronunciation:
“Yeah, uh, put me through to Jan.”
“Can I tell him who’s calling?”
**“Ahh, it’s George. Personal friend. You can just put me through.”
**“Can I tell him who you’re with?”
**“I’m not WITH anyone. I’m an old friend. Look, Jan told me to call him back right away.”
**“Okay, George. I’ll ask YON if he remembers you.”
Pause. “Click.”
My first name is unusual, and it has a weird pronunciation, so back in the bad old days before the DNC list, I could tell right away that it was a telemarketer. The people who know me well enough to ask for me by my first name know how to pronounce it…and they generally know that I prefer to be called Lynn. Anyone who mangled my name was someone I didn’t want to talk to.
Yep! My boss has an unusual first name (I’ve only ever heard it before are a surname, and not a very common one at that,) and an “ethnic” last name. Technically, my job is not to screen calls, but I do it when it’s obvious that the person on the other end of the line is a sleazy salesperson doing a cold call. The conversation usually goes like this:
Sleazy salesperson: “Hi! Can you put me through to G’s office?”
Me: “One moment, let me check whether anyone’s in there… May I say who’s calling?”
Sleazy salesperson: “This is Joe. I’m just an old friend in town for the day, and I thought I’d stop in and see him.”
Me: “Oh, I just peeked, and it looks like he’s not in right now. May I take a message?”
SS: “No, maybe I’ll catch him next time.”
Yeah, G is a woman.
I understand that strategy was very effective in the '70s and '80s for the staff of Lynn Stalmaster, the famous casting director responsible for hiring actors for dozens of TV shows and Oscar-winning movies. Aspiring actors would call and claim to be friends of Lynn and that she would be eager to cast them. Mr. Stalmaster, of course, had never heard of them.
One of the Sales Guys at my work has developed a really annoying habit. He’ll call for Big Boss and, when told that Big Boss is already taking one call which (most likely) will take half of forever, replies “I’ll just hold.”
“Do you want me to send you to his voicemail?” I ask, desperately hoping this time he’ll say yes.
“No, I’ll hold,” he replies.
This man has spent literally fifteen minutes on hold waiting for Big Boss to finish his call. This guy has known Big Boss for years. He **knows **that Big Boss is obsessive about checking and responding to his voicemails. Yet he apparently has so little to do that he can spend decades on the phone listening to the hold music while I have to keep pushing the hold button so the main line won’t ring while **I’m **taking a call. I wish I was a little bit higher up the totem pole so I could drop a bug in She Who Must Be Obeyed’s ear about this annoying little habit. Dude, you know Big Boss. LEAVE A FUCKING VOICEMAIL AND GET OFF THE MAIN LINE THAT NEEDS TO BE OPEN FOR GUESTS TO CALL IN.
I had some guy call in today and just started talking to me like I knew who the hell he was. “Hey, Carol, how are you? Hey, is bossman there?” (BTW, guys? Why don’t you identify yourselves on the phone? I can’t recall any woman ever doing this.) We had this whole conversation about my boss not being there, when would he be back, I listen while Unidentified Caller talks himself through his options (“Well, maybe I’ll try him later, no I’ll call his cell phone, wait can I leave a voicemail, no forget it I’ll try him on his cell phone.”)
He never once told me who he was.
“Thanks, Carol! Hey, have a great weekend!”
::Scooby Doo: Wrrrrrrrmf?? ::Scooby Doo::
GRRR… I’m ready to smack the guy down in shipping.
His job is to post into our system everything that goes out and comes in. He’s a clerk, simple as that. So why can’t he post what actually comes in?
Ok, there’s been change to the system (two and a half months ago) and I know you are new to the clerk job (three+ months ago) but you’ve been trained by people who know what the fuck they are doing and despite the extra change to the system your job is still the same thing… Post what comes in and goes out so the system keeps track. It’s a service order which is done a little differently than physical goods, but it’s still a purchase order and you still have to post exactly what comes in!
EXACTLY being the key word. I know it’s a hard concept to understand but if you look at the piece of paper that says what we owe it tells you EXACTLY what you need to post and EXACTLY what we need to pay.
So don’t be posting the whole amount of the order, which just so happens to be the amount for the whole year! This isn’t the first time, but you just made more work for me, and at least two others, not to mention yourself to hunt it down and proceed to fix it. So how about doing it right the first time?
I called my temp agency to tell them I’m available and looking again (the damage done to my right shoulder, elbow, and wrist from my last assignment has mostly healed up) - no call back since Monday. Time to get in touch with another agency who will be glad to make money from a gold-star temp like me. 
Smoking Lady: the goddamn bathroom is not an appropriate place to have a private cell phone conversation. I really, really don’t want my peeing to be heard by whoever you’re talking to about your family’s latest financial disaster.
Office Partner: you really, really need to buy a Neti pot or some other means of sinus wash. I’ve been listening to sniffa-sniffa-sniffa-sniffa-SNIIIIIFFF-sniffa-sniffa-sniffa-sniffa-SNIFFSNIFF-sniffa-sniffa-sniffa-sniffa for well over a month now…it doesn’t sound very healthy, and I’m pretty sure it’s loud enough that people can hear it over the phone.
Well, my agency finally returned my call - can I update my resume with the last assignment (that was through them) so they can send my resume on to a completely inappropriate job? Sure, why not? :rolleyes:
Dear boss, you’re really not that awful of a boss, I’ve worked for far worse. But why oh why does every single piece of paper I give you come back to me with food on it?! I could understand the occasional coffee cup ring, I’m guilty of that myself sometimes. But grease stains, salsa splatters, pickle juice, chocolate smears, and some stuff I don’t even want to guess what it is! Ick… And I have to mail some of this stuff out! I’ve gotten smart and made copies of some of the stuff that it’s more critical that it look decent.
This post in combination with your username has me picturing the Monarch slouched on his throne, looking over some invoice or other while munching on a jelly donut. 
I’m posting right now because I’m shadowing the citrix session of an implementer who is running a cutover test. My job is to record what they’re doing so we can see what in the very clear step by step instructions they’re screwing up.
Oh how can you count the ways. They’ve gone back and forth about 20 times trying to bring up a customer record by putting one field of information in to 5 different fields. There are only 6 options and they have NEVER chosen the correct one. It’s really not that hard to figure out that the phone number goes in the phone number field is it? And even if it is, the documentation is REALLY REALLY clear.
When I called the coordinator (because apparently giving me contact information for the person I am shadowing would be too direct for them) I find out that not only am I going through this once, we’re also apparently doing another store on the west coast. So the 9pm - 11pm I was told to expect to work is more like 9pm -3am. Fuckers. Time sheet deadline for the week was 5pm today and I have a 9am meeting that I need to be at the office for. I am going to be one short on sleep bitch all day tomorrow. Heads will roll.
Right…so I’m home now. My vacation includes tomorrow. I’m still on vacation, so why should bosslady expect me to look at the notes that have been duct taped to my door and respond? I didn’t answer the phone calls, I didn’t answer the emails, except for a general “I’ll take care of it when I get back”.
I work to live, I don’t live to work.
(PS, for anyone how is interested, I had fun in Houston. Hot and humid, but lots of fun stuff to do. I still haven’t had wild. swing from the rafters sex with a cowboy, but things look hopeful)
I pit myself for being a fucking moron. I missed a flight by 2 fucking minutes. 2 minutes.
$800 flight. 2 minutes. FUCK. This day is going to suck ass.
Ah, busybody, you attempt to subvert me once again. I really need to get out of here. Too bad the market is dry.
A few weeks ago, busybody was informed that she’s lower on the totem pole than I and my counterpart on another product. So she’s looking for little ways to get her revenge. Her most recent is a doozy. I must admire her verve. You see, for some reason, she’s responsible for the floor planning in our department. Due to lack of space, our call center is going to traditional call-center-style cubes - completely open at the back, with the only desk space being that which the computer rests on. Unfortunately, she has put me and my counterpart on the floor in the call center while she has assigned herself a large conference-room-style cube, complete with a big desk and table for meetings. Needless to say, I am pissed, as is my counterpart.
I do media interviews. Frequently. They can sometimes be disturbing to others, which is why, when possible, I seek out an empty office. However, when I can’t find one, my current larger cube serves as an ok alternative. But a call center cube? Not likely.
My counterpart also manages people. Meaning she needs file cabinet space, which she would not have at a call center cube. I also need cabinet space to keep legislation, which I am required to read to perform my function. So, I’m to read this shit on my lap??
What ticks me off more is that my boss didn’t catch this and has yet to “officially” announce it. So I and my counterpart have to wait until he does to discuss it with him. In the meantime, I feel like I’m in the game of chess, gathering information to present to him when the time comes. This sucks. I’m done fighting this woman. She’s an underhanded, bitter, shriveled bitch of a woman who chooses to go around me instead of confronting me directly. When I attempted to discuss any issues she has with me, she insisted everything is hunky dory. However, given that this latest development is so close on the heels of her getting a smackdown, I don’t believe that for a second.
Oh, busybody, how I hate you.
Yuck. My boss does this. Jesus, what is your weird phobic aversion to blowing your nose? Disgusting to have to listen to.