Fair enough. 
Office forks must go to the same time warp zone as that one missing sock. We have spoons, and we have knives. No problem. The problem? We have two (2) forks, in an office of 8 or more (some are usually remote/offsite). Grandboss finally just bought a box of plastic forks at the dollar store. Best problem-solving I’ve witnessed from her in a while.
Silverware likes to take sudden vacations, disappearing whenever it’s grown tired of the same old same old and returning refreshed and ready for another trip through the dishwasher.
My vote is for “accidentally throw away.” We have a set of cheap dishes and utensils for everyone in the office to use, and somehow now a few years down the line we’ve ended up with way fewer forks than anything else. This is a very small office with all awesome people in it, so nobody’s taking them home or hoarding them; that leaves absentminded trash disposal.
I don’t want to go to work. Is that griping enough? 
NO! Amuse us with a work-related story or join the hamsters in the forum-power wheels!
I have no amusing work-related stories, unfortunately. My coworkers are all rather bland, there’s no Shredder Guy style amusements.
Shredder guy has set the bar a little high, most of us don’t have coworkers that amusing.
I can’t multi-quote myself on this board worth a shit, so there’s no point compiling how many times I’ve said this already, but:
Another Monday morning. Another Dr. Pepper assploded all over the freezer, the front of the refrigerator, and even onto the breakroom floor. :smack:
And your co-worker who keeps doing this doesn’t have a Dr. Pepper can-shaped dent in her forehead why…?
Probably because she does clean it up right away. Jesus, I can’t even imagine the fire and shit Grandboss would rain down on her head if she didn’t, but she does.
I’ve suggested using an Outlook reminder to her at least a half-dozen times. I used to even, occasionally, remind her myself if I noticed a can was in there. Now? Nah. More entertaining this way! 
I just got into an argument about product pricing with our call center. They’re insisting we can’t charge $X for a product. “Okay,” I said, “Could you provide me with the number of people who refused to buy the product due to price and the percentage of overall prospects? I’ll take it to my director and see what we can do.”
So I get the numbers. A whopping 1% of people who didn’t buy our product chose not to do so because of price. So I make this observation. The response? “Well, I know you’re only interested in numbers. But I know. I know no one will pay $X for the product because I just know.” What the fuck kind of argument is that? And in what universe do you expect me to take that to my boss and my boss’s boss?
You clearly don’t know. If you did, your numbers would demonstrate otherwise.
I am backup for someone whose vacation started today. Already I’ve had one issue that’s been sitting since June 16th without resolution escalated and one change that’s urgent and terribly important get cancelled since it didn’t have the proper approvals. It’s going to be a long week isn’t it?
Thankfully Friday is a holiday. I love you Canada with your well timed day.
As a 44 year old, I’m struggling with memory issues all the time, and someone who refuses to use memory aids is making me irritated. Oh yeah, I’m struggling with hormone issues, too. 
Moonlitherial can I borrow you to be my backup when you’re done cleaning up those messes? I’ll even tell you where I keep the candy stash… I have no backup at all and I’m getting ready to go on vacation next week. I used to have someone who could fill in fairly well, but she got fired last year for unrelated issues. Then I spent three months training someone who had already told the boss she wasn’t gonna come back after she had her baby. That was in January and I haven’t had any backup since. There is someone who can do about 1/4 of my job when she feels like it, but I can’t really count on that. So I’m gonna come back to a big ol’ mess.
After 4 years of no merit raises and no cost of living increases, we just learned that we are going to get a 2% raise in January. HURRAY!
Today, we got an email telling us that the PTB are shifting our retirement deductions so that we are paying even more, effective July 1. I did the math, my paycheck will be 6% less. Not to mention that they are taking vision care away. Texas is looking better all the time.
A lack of vision care will do that.
Do you live somewhere warm? (now doesn’t count, December is what’s important) I’ll do a lot for a relocation to a warm climate and the location of the candy stash.
At this point, I would just start obsessively checking the freezer, and any time I found a soda there, I’d move it to the fridge. Don’t try to talk to her about it; don’t tell her you’ve done it; just move the soda, every time you find it there. I think this is one of those situations where passive aggression is absolutely justified.
One made by someone asking for a mouth full of teeth.
Get the fuuuuuuuuuuuck out of there.
Why, Guns, I have to say, I’m a little bit surprised at you, my dear. Feeling extra charitable this morning?
Nope, sorry… Indiana. Definately not warm in December. Sometimes not warm in June either. :rolleyes: