Will Vinnie work for barter? Like kittens? And maybe big freezer bags full of paperclips, clamps an binders? Oh, wait, we are paying Vinny so that rockle gets that sort of thing:smack:
Dr. Girlfriend, that sucks. I honestly have no other words for how you must have felt. It must have been horrible. offers tissues and chocolate
Secret from the staff at the office, perhaps? Including the document destruction contractors, whom the man may feel are untrustworthy? Or perhaps, because it is [may be] personal documents, rather than company documents, he is reluctant to place unauthorized paperwork into the document destruction bins. Perhaps it is secrets he is attempting to prevent being discovered by his soon-to-be ex-wife’s legal team.
Dear workplace:
In order to do the work you’re paying me to do, I need authorization to open the documents related to that work. I realize this is difficult to comprehend, but please, it’s taken 5 weeks to get me access to the system where those documents are stored, will it take 5 more until I have access to actually read documents in it?
Gotta love it when IT Security becomes IT Shackles. Same initials anyway, right?
Thanks flatlined, chocolate always helps. This has been the week from hell, and it’s only Wednesday. At least no members have died today… yet. ::looks for real wood to knock on::
I’m about to have a deathmatch battle with the teller if she doesn’t quit with her stupid disappearing acts. How many times do you really have to go to the mailbox? The mail isn’t here yet honey, see that little red flag that’s sticking up? And funny, it’s always when there’s someone coming in that she doesn’t like.
She’s shorter and heavier than I am, but also 10 years younger, so it’ll probably be a short fight, but if I can just get one good swing in… I do have the red-headed temper thing going for me. Yeah I’ll sell tickets, someone bring the popcorn. 
I’m tired and cranky and PMS-ing. Boyfriend had a business trip that kept him out until 3am. Wake me when it’s 5pm, OK? Thanks…
I mentioned it in the July minirants thread. Basically, I put 2 and 2 together and came up with divorce. The coworker hasn’t said anything to me about it, and AFAIK (obviously I can’t ask around) they haven’t said anything to anyone else here, either. I don’t know how far along they are in the process or if their spouse knows; I can’t imagine why they’d be having all of the mail from the divorce attorney sent to the office if the spouse knew, though.
1.) Definitely secret from (most or all of) the office. Possibly secret from the spouse.
2.) I think the person might just be extra paranoid about anyone else getting their hands on the documents, so that no one finds anything out by accident (like I did).
3.) Nobody here really has any problem dumping other personal documents into the secure recycling bin.
4.) I doubt this person is shredding anything they don’t want a divorce attorney to see, whether theirs or their spouse’s. They’re not that type of person (as far as I know).
Oh and:
Dude, why are you calling me looking for my coworker? No, you do *not *“have a call with him” at 11 a.m. You know how I know this? Because any of us, including me, can look at his calendar and see that he has client meetings booked all this morning. Yes, you *sent *him an invitation–but he didn’t accept it. Maybe you should check invitee status next time, genius.
-You’re losing millions—no, make that BILLIONS- of dollars.
-I’m on the bottom rung of your organizational ladder (you keep insisting on telling me this)
-You don’t have sales reps.
-I’m not trained for sales.
-You won’t pay me commission for sales and won’t pay extra time for cold calling
-and I’M supposed to save YOUR organization by becoming your salesbot?
I have an annoyingly stupid coworker who makes my job a lot harder than it should be, and she doesn’t work on Mondays. So every single friday at 6pm I say “see you next tuesday!”
Man that’s fun. It just never gets old.
4d3fect, that post makes a lot more sense now.
Two of my work related pet peeves today.
If you leave a message and want me to call back, don’t rattle off the phone number so fast I have to listen to it five times to get your name and the number.
If you are asking about an invoice that needs to be paid (fun stuff with our new invoicing system that is supposed to speed it up, which is a whole rant/aggravation in itself) how about leave the invoice number and your company name so I can investigate and have my answer to what the hell is happening before calling you back? This way you don’t waste time listening to me type and I don’t have to call you back again if I have to dig deep in our system/files/emails?
Flutterby, I usually work in accounting departments, and I wish I could say your rant is unusual, but it seems to be standard for people to leave messages like that; “Hi, it’s Fastgarbledname from Fastgarbledcompany, I need to find out what’s happening with an invoice; please call me back at fastgarbledphonenumber.”
When I leave messages, I leave all the information and talk sloooooowly. You know the people who do this get garbled messages themselves all the time, so they would figure out not to do it to other people, but the world doesn’t seem to work that way.
GodDAMN, administration, can you schedule more motherfucking goat-felching meetings on the week before classes begin? And make sure that half of the meetings are repeating information that was presented in other meetings?
One meeting for every single employee on campus
One meeting for faculty only
One meeting for faculty in our division
One meeting for faculty in our department
Meetings for each committee
One meeting to rule them all and in the darkness bind them.
Interspersed with other meetings about policy changes, procedural changes, process changes, technological upgrades, state policy directives, and a partridge in a motherfucking pear tree.
If my ass has to sit in any more seats for 1.5 hours at a stretch to be presented with the exact same information over and over again, I swear to Og I will CUT A BITCH.
Okay, I have one:
We are looking at accepting another method of payment (MOP) at work. Being the IT department for a retail company, I get to figure out how this payment method will interface with our registers and back office software.
I explained to the general manager how since the machine that actually processes the MOP is not tied to our system in anyway, then it’ll be fairly straightforward, with a new register key dedicated to the MOP and the MOP being treated as cash at the point of sale.
A couple of minutes later, she and someone who has nothing to do with this part of the process, let’s say Janine, come in to look at the sample register. Janine starts going into this convoluted explanation of how she understands it will work. I stop her and say, “No, the clerk will total the transaction, run it on the stand-alone machine, then tender it on the register, just like they’d been handed cash.”
“No! It’s like if they get a gift card or phone card!”
“No, those are purchases, not payments. If paying with a gift card, it too processes in the system like cash.”
“No! That’s not right!”
“Yes, it is. They’ll total, process that MOP on the stand-alone, then tender it for amount on the register. Just like if it were cash, as opposed to tendering first* then processing the MOP like debit/credit do.”
(she was raising her voice and becoming slightly aggressive at this point) “I understand what you’re saying, but you’re wrong! If you tell the clerks to do it like that, they’ll just tender as cash every time!”
“They won’t be able to tender it as cash and we won’t tell them to do it that way, I’m just explaining how the system will process it, since that’s what I was asked.”
“WHATEVER!” and she stormed out.
This wouldn’t be so annoying, except this happens any time there is something that comes up that falls into my technical domain (her job has nothing to do with IT, technical issues, or anything of the like). I will come up with a solution, or explain to someone how/why something is, and she feels like she must interject (usually with wrong information). The clincher is that she gets so mad about it, every single time.
I used to provide IT support for 2 different departments: HR & Payroll. The heads of both were frequently in meetings and hard to reach, so I often left them phone messages. (And I was often not available when they called back, so they left messages.)
The head of Payroll responded by leaving long, detailed phone messages explaining the whole problem, what they wanted changed, how soon they needed it, and who else in her department I could call if I needed more information when she wasn’t available.
The head of HR left a message saying to call her back, nothing more – not even a suggestion as to a good time to call. It often seemed to take 2-3 days before she & I could actually connect. Then HR often complained to my manager that “Payroll problems always seem to get fixed faster than ours”. Well, duh, Payroll tells me what the problems are right away!
“What do you mean I can’t make my voice mail password 222222?”
Because the only way that could be less secure is if I re-recorded your voicemail greeting to include the phrase “Dear caller, for free international calling, press 0.”
Because I don’t feel like getting into months of litigation over why we’d let you choose a stupid password, that’s why.
Wait, I need an explanation on that one. How can easy access into someone’s voice mail translate into unauthorized long-distance (or international) calls on the company’s dime?
Don’t know their system, but a lot of systems will have ways that once you’re on the inside (not leaving a message, but checking messages or mailbox maintenance) that you can also transfer messages or make calls. So, for instance, I call into the system and enter my extension and passcode. I then enter whatever the system’s prompt is to transfer a call or initiate a call and I’m now making calls from within the phone system.
Bingo. And our customers scream blue murder if we suggest turning the forwarding feature off, and scream blue murder if we force them to use non-sequential, non-repetitive passwords of 6 or more digits.
I so do not miss doing phone system support.
In all the talk about me peeing into a trashcan in the hallway, or into someone’s desk pen drawer, I missed this.
I don’t think I’ve ever been called decorative before. Umm … thanks? 