That should read managers, not mangers. Y’all probably knew that. :o
I was going to point it out, but hay.
Jesus, couldn’t you just put the jokes to bed instead of just trying to crib a bit from someone’s misfortune?
And you call yourself a writer! snerk
Morgyn and I would love to work together again some day. I keep trying to get her in where I work now, but they seem to think that non-writing skills are more important for writers to have than writing ones. sigh I should post some of those stories here, but my anger level grows to out-of-control proportions.
I will get you back, m’dear. Oh yes. Some day you will be mine. Again!
God created editors because He couldn’t keep up with all the mistakes writers make.
flatlined, what the hell is it going to take to get this ass fired?
Cracks up. Honestly, when I was getting all upset about waiting for him, I thought about the entertainment value for people here 
He wasn’t ready yesterday. I pounded on his door and he yelled back that he needed a few more minutes, so I said that I needed to get the kittens to the vet and would leave in 3 minutes. SG came running out the door with a bowl of cereal in his hands. That’s fine, I don’t mind when people eat in my car, I use it to transport cats and dogs. I did complain that he wanted to leave his unwashed bowl in my car.
I’m now learning that he’s telling people that I care more about animals then I do about people. Oddly enough, the people who are telling me about it claim they also told him that if I’m nice enough to give him a ride, he has to deal with my schedule. Go figure, right?
The economy has to improve enough for the hiring freeze to lift. SG can’t be replaced at this time. After what he pulled on my boss while I was on vacation, she would allow me to fire him in a heartbeat, but we need the warm body.
SG used to work 5 4-hour days, which worked very well for having a warm body in the warehouse so I could take lunch. A couple of months ago, he asked to work his 20 hours in 3 days so he didn’t have to spend so much gas money to drive to work. My boss, being the softy she is (and not having to actually work with him), agreed that she could cover my lunches on Monday and Friday. She’s really sorry she overruled me about that, but what is done is done.
Today, SG called me and asked what was left in the fridge. One of the things he was very good about is cleaning all the leftovers out of the fridge on Friday’s. When I asked if he was really going to drive 20 miles on his own time to clean the fridge out, he said he was only 5 miles away. The casino is 5 miles away.:smack:
For dinner tonight, SG got wilted carrots and a wrinkled orange from me. Several unidentified take out carriers from the mailroom people and someone’s half drank milkshake.
The right answer here is, “No, **flatlined **cares more about animals than she does about you. Shut up already, you moocher!”
Translation: “I want to spend more time and money at the casino, and you’re enough of a sap that I can wheedle you into it.”
Moocher in action. Do you suppose he shared the food he scavenges with his wife? (He really has a wife? Who lives with him and everything? Really?)
You do realize of course that when he’s finally fired, it’s going to be because you had it in for him, right?
I can’t help it; it’s like he’s my Muse, or something
Positively Shredder Guy
*You got a lotta nerve
To say you work with me
When you create more
Work than you accomplish
You got a lotta nerve
To show those kittens off
You just want to be seen
As my accomplice
You say I let you down
When I don’t bring coffee in
If you need it
Why don’t you bring your own in
You say you’re just too po’
But that’s not where it’s at
You just drop all your cash
In the casino
I know the things you say
When you talk behind my back
I’m friends with all the people
That you talk to
Do you take me for such a fool
To think I’d not contact
The people that you’re tryin’
To trash me out to
You hear me at your door
You always act surprised
I told you just what time
I’d be arrivin’
You know as well as me
You’re takin’ me out of my way
Why can’t you just be grateful
That I’m drivin’
No, I do not feel that good
When I see you steal my lunch
If more folks worked here
Perhaps you’d rob them
And now I know you’re dissatisfied
With your position and your place
Don’t you understand
It’s not my problem
I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment
I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time
You could stand inside my shoes
You’d know what a drag it is
To see you*
Didn’t have to change those last three stanzas a bit. 
But please don’t take it personally that I implied the possibility of you standing in his shoes.
Oh, bravo, kaylasdad99. I’m giggling like mad.
My company has never had a hiring freeze in the 10+ years I’ve worked there, so I have no idea if that’s how it actually works–a company could hire a completely clueless and incompetent worker, but if there’s a hiring freeze, you can’t fire that person if their job can’t be performed by the remaining workers? That seems extremely stupid to me.
Or is it just because flatlined works for a public agency?
kaylasdad99, I’m so in agreement with Morgyn. Cracking up so hard now 
While I shudder to think of SG being anyone’s muse, your songs make me think that working with SG isn’t so bad at all. On Tuesday, that will be my mindworm
markdash, the way it works with our hiring freeze is that people can be fired, they can retire and they can quit. We just can’t hire anyone else to fill the position. Back in '07, there were 5 people besides myself working in the warehouse, 2 fulltime people and 3 part timers. It was easy to keep the warehouse open 9 hours a day with that many people.
Now there is just me and SG. If SG is fired, there won’t be enough warm bodies to keep the warehouse open for the required time. Yes, my boss can come and cover me for lunch, but she is responsible for several other departments, all of which are short handed.
It sucks, but it is what it is. SG knows this and is working it like the pro he is.
About the wife question…now that I’m going to SG’s camp trailor in an RV park, I’m thinking that the wife left many years ago. SG doesn’t have one of those nice ones with pullouts and good insulation, SG’s trailor is a 14 foot one that I could pull with my econobox car. While I’m yelling through the door, I can hear everything inside. If there was a wife, I think I would hear her.
For the record, I don’t hate SG. I hate that he uses people’s sympathy to get his way. SG will use his old and po statis to make more work for other people. SG can use one of the unused work stations to look at sports scores and catch up with the latest Rush Limbaugh news, but he can’t figure out how to use it to get his direct deposit statements. SG is the only one in the county who has to have Finance print his paystub out and mail it to him.
And again, for the record, SG isn’t really po. SG retired and is now double dipping. SG also has several small retirement accounts from other jobs. From what I know, SG makes more than me and his living expenses are way lower. He just blows all his money on lottery tickets and the casinos.
Scene: Warehouse, exterior, early morning.
**flatlined **pulls in and parks. She and SG get out of the car.
SG: So since tomorrow’s Friday, do you think I can clear the fridge out tonight? I don’t want to have to drive back 20 miles to do it, 'cause I can’t afford to pay for the gas.
flatlined: The fridge gets cleaned out on Friday, same as always.
SG: But, really, you know, the food has got to be going bad already, it would save so much time for everyone if I just did it today before I went home.
flatlined: The fridge gets cleaned out on Friday, same as always. [looks hard at SG] In the afternoon. After everyone’s done for the day.
SG: But
flatlined, interrupting: Look, you’ve been saying for a long time now that you can’t afford gas and you can’t afford sodas and things. Tell you what. How about we sit down and work out a budget for you.
SG: [gapes]
flatlined, enthused: Yeah. All you have to do is bring in all your income statements, your paycheck, your retirement account payouts, pension, the works. And also bring in your utility statements.
**SG **[stutters]: Bbbutt ..
flatlined, more enthused: I bet we can work things out so you will be able to have gas and grocery money and even money left over for snacks and sodas. Wouldn’t that be GREAT?
**SG **[stutters more]: Bu-bu-bubbbbtt!
**flatlined **[grins evilly but speaking in a syrupy sweet way]: Won’t it be *nice *for you when you can bring coffee in for everyone? Why, I’ll bet you’ve just been all *ashamed *inside because you haven’t been able to put in your fair share on that. I just *know *that your mamma didn’t raise you to never help out.
=+=+=+=+=
OK, so I’m a hack at dialogue. It’s still fun to imagine.
This reminds me of a good one, not a workplace story but a really good “lets make everything all about me” story
About 5 years ago, a good friend of mine was diagnosed with a devasting terminal illness…a you’ve got 3-6 months to live situation.
So, in his better moments, he decides to work on the “bucket list”. One of the items is a hot air ballon ride. He and his wife find a place and pick a tentative date…then they decide to invite a another couple to join them…when he told me this I was screaming NO NO NO inside because I know this woman and don’t really think wild horses could drag her into a balloon basket.
But they claim to want to go, but the time isn’t good for them. My well-meaning friends postpone the trip and pick another date. The other date comes and then cancel again… but insist that my friends NOT GO WITHOUT THEM because they REALLY WANT TO GO.
So as the third date approaches they get another call. This time it’s…we really want to share this experience with you but Beth is afraid of heights do you think we can all do something else???
At this point, thank the Lord, my friends went anyway.
Not so much a gripe about a specific coworker (well, maybe the high-level manager on the other end of the phone line) as a curious conversation overheard at work about strange situations. This is from a company with more engineers per square meter than your average engineering school.
“…and since he’s autistic we/”
…
“well, yeah, he’s an engineer. He’s also autistic, but/”
…
“engineer is a profession, autism is an illness. It’s not incompatible. It’s like being an administrative assistant and having bad breath, the two can happen at the same time. He’s an engineer and he is autistic.”
…
“because he’s an engineer and he’s a good engineer, so long as you make sure to work with and not against his quirks.”
…
“that would be ille- actually, fuck the law, it would be stupid since he happens to be a good engineer. He’s our best man for simulations!”
…
“well, he’s got his quirks but he’s not half as complicated to work with as half the project managers. Seriously. Can we go back to what we were talking about before I mentioned it?”
The “I just know that your mamma didn’t raise you to never help out” bit is a fatal shot, there. SG will claim that a fire done burned down all his records (if he admits to keeping records at all) though.
He’s probably asked if he can get rides for this week, too. Now is the time to say “Kick in some gas money” or else “I gave you a ride six times last week. You were late/not ready to leave X number of times. I don’t want to give you rides any more, because you do not respect my time (and also you don’t even offer gas money or anything else in the way of thanks).”
Do NOT answer your phone tonight or tomorrow. Let it go to voicemail/answering machine. If it’s SG, don’t return the call. You’ve done more than enough for him, let him find his own damned rides from now on. Do NOT give him any more rides.
I wonder if everyone else also thinks his wife is still with him … and where she is if she’s not but everyone thinks she is.
And then I think of SG’s scavenging habits.
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
And then I want to go give people like Stephen King and Thomas Harris good, swift kicks in the rear. 
Whoever was on your end of the conversation (the person you overheard) should be lauded for their consideration of your autistic coworker and his defense of that employee. It sounds like he let it slip by accident that your engineer coworker has some special issues, which to me is a good sign that the autistic coworker is a positive enough employee that the benefit of having him on the team outweighs any possible negatives the autism brings.
I have more than a few coworkers who have quirks, but in this business (broadcast tv) it’s often an additive, even if you have to work around a few rough edges.
Anyway, your story made me feel good. Thanks for sharing.
He does live in a camp trailor, and has said that he couldn’t afford to make the payments for his storage and so lost everything. Of course, about every 6 months, he brings in pictures from his “glory days”. 4 years in the Army. He was a jeep driver in Germany. Kinda sad that’s the best he can come up with.
I had already agreed to give him rides this week. Its not really that big a thing as long as he’s on time, Lynn. Plus, there is the entertainment value. Today, one of my friends needed to borrow my car. Tony really is dirt poor, and he is one of the best foster homes I have for kittens.
I stopped to get gas on the way home last night and SG questioned it because I still had half a tank. I did it because I know that Tony will fill my tank before he brings my car back. SG wasn’t very happy that Tony was riding shotgun, and was totally outraged that I’d let Tony have my car for the day. I casually mentioned that Tony would bring me lunch today and would also be on time to pick us up and that the gas tank would be full. SG is so clueless, that all he noticed was that I’d let a stranger borrow my car and I wouldn’t let him. It really made me laugh.
:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
Now I’m thinking I should have Tony come with me to pick SG up all the time!!!