She didn’t even get that. They were conceived with donor sperm and egg. She carried them, though.
Well, it’s one thing to say that the kids shouldn’t have been born which comes off as a bit creepy. But I think it’s valid to say that you shouldn’t have kids past a certain point. Just because there are kids who have parents who are old, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
No, I agree with mswas on this one. I see a lot of–forgive me–stupid judgmentalism in this thread. Many people’s parents die too soon; we don’t suggest that people are entitled to families because things might not turn out the way they expect. My stepbrothers lost their father when they were in there teens when ther dad was killed in a car accident on his way into work.
To suggest that someone needs to give up the desire to start a family because the circumstances are less than perfect strikes me as heartless and uninformed.
“Less than perfect”? She was 10 or more years past menopause, a physiological landmark that was circumvented by expensive medical treatments administered by medical professionals who should have been doing way more rigorous screening of their patient.
We all have to give up desires all the time, due to the fact that reality is in conflict with those desires. I find the sense of entitlement – “I want a kid, so I have the right to do that however selfish or misguided it is” – as distressing as you find our judgmentalness.
There is a difference between “less than perfect” and “not terribly sustainable.” Maybe I’m judgmental about this - but I think that I have some responsibilities to my kids. Yeah, I can’t control them - I could die tomorrow in a car accident - but I can lower the risk. One of my responsibilities is that I live to see them reach adulthood. As I said, can’t promise it - but I can keep my risks low. One is that I can provide some financial stability - can’t promise it, but I can keep the risks low.
She gets to have kids - I get to look at that situation and call it not responsible. Maybe I’m heartless - maybe she is.
As I said upthread, we don’t expect my brother in law to live to see his kids reach adulthood. After the youngest was born, my sister was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer. Not only would the loss of both their parents be tragic for my nephews (and of course, my entire family) - its unfair to me and to my kids to suddenly have two extra kids - I’d do it, of course. But its not the life I planned for - I don’t have college savings for four, I don’t have room in my house for four. I hope whomever ends up with her kids wants them as much as she did.
Yeah, but it’s one thing for a parent to die due to unforseable circumstances. If you know you’re probably going to die before your kids come of age, why would you have a kid? Because you want to?
And would you ever draw the line? Is someone who’s eighty with early onset dementia a good candidate for adoption just because it’s heartless to deprive them of what they want?
The difference, and I’m rather surprised you’ve missed it, is about the foreseeable consequences of giving birth in your mid-60s. People lose their parents young due to accidents and diseases sometimes. This is different because a simple glance at an actuarial table would have made it clear this woman had maybe a 50-50 chance of living to see her children go to college, and that’s if she remained in perfect health. That’s not considering any other physical infirmities associated with aging and the fact that you simply have less energy in your 60s than you do if you have children when you are one-third to one-half that age, as most people do. It’s just not comparable to someone dying in a car accident. Having children at 40 might be “less than perfect,” having them at 66 is flat-out selfish. As evidenced by the fact that this woman had to shave a decade off her age just to get a lab to cooperate.
Did the article in the link change? I could swear that the first time I clicked the link the article was shorter and included a quote from her saying that she was looking for someone younger to help her raise them. The current article mentions a godfather. There is no mention of a husband. So she wasn’t just a 66 year old mother, she was a 66 year old single mother.