Before I knew they were AA slogans, I always thought “easy does it” and “one day at a time” were biker sayings, because they were always stuck to such shitty cars (at least in the late 70’s).
How about “My kid tattoed your honor student”, put out here by a local tattoo parlor.
Or in another vein like (heart) and (spade), I once saw "I (club) my baby seal.
Truly sick shit.
Gore/Lieberman
Haha! “Bandtastic!” That’s the funniest word ever.
I got a close look at one of the “big fish eating the little Darwin fish” stickers the other day. The letters on the big fish said “TRUTH.”
Made me want to ralph.
I used to have some that pictured a screw to put over the heart.
One of the bible-thumping churches around here puts out bumper stickers that say Speak Up For Decency. When they showed up several years ago, it took about a week before one of the other churches in town put out their own that say Speak Up For Liberty. Believe it or not, the Liberty ones outnumber the Decency ones. Give me hope yet.
-“Don’t like my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT” (What # do I call if I don’t like you?)
-“In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned.”
-“Clinton” (with the hammer and sickle for the “C”. I’m not a Clinton fan but the sticker is foolish.)
-“I Brake For ______” any word except for “hallucinations” in the zany font).
How about “Come the Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?”
“Red Meat Isn’t Bad For You. Fuzzy Green Meat Is Bad For You.”
Personally, I like “Born-Again Reincarnationist”
That decal of Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) urinating on a Cheverolet logo. Okay, okay, so it’s not a bumper sticker, but I think something that hideous deserves a special mention.
Totally agree on all the anti-abortion stickers, as well as anything espousing a religious viewpoint. Sheesh, talk about hitting us over the head…
TOP BUMPER STICKERS SEEN AROUND THE WORLD
Constipated People Don’t Give A Shit.
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
If You Don’t Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
If At First You Don’t Succeed… blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken… Watch For Finger.
If You’re Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
I Have The Body Of A God… Buddha
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name
Illiterate? Write For Help
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Cover Me; I’m Changing Lanes
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand basket?
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You’re Doing It Wrong.
Seen upside-down on a jeep: If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over.
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
Seen on a restaurant: Guys: No Shirt, No Service; Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Ax Me About Ebonics
Body By Nautilus, Brain By Mattel
Boldly Going Nowhere
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
Don’t Be Sexist - Broads Hate That
Heart Attacks… God’s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
Money Isn’t Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Saw It… Wanted It… Had A Fit… Got It!
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
Grow Your Own Dope – Plant a Man.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that precious.
I need someone really bad…Are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Clinton is the answer
If Clinton is the answer it was a stupid question.
These aren’t the worst I’ve seen. They’re actually my favorites.
Mean people suck. Nice people swallow.
Born to be queer
(No, it wasn’t on the same car as the first one. :D)
Didn’t your wife tell you? Your honor student is actually my kid
Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs
They can have my penis when they pry it from my cold dead hands. (No joke. I think this is the best bumper sticker EVER.)
Some of these are sayings my friends found and custom-made bumper stickers for. Do those count?
I think it’s really funny a lot of posters on here have such a problem with religious or anti-abortion bumper stickers. Sheesh! Next they’ll get mad that churches foist their religion on use by putting up steeples.
“This truck isn’t worth your life!”
This is the exact opposite of what the owner really believes, of course, if he/she would be willing to kill me over it. 
That one pisses me off (sorry about that) simply because I know that Bill Watterson makes no money off these things. The ONLY approved ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ merchandise are the books. Anyting else is a forgery.
Favorite bumper sticker: “667 - The Neighbor of the Beast”
Least favorite: “My kid beat up your honor student” (probably because I WAS the honor student that was getting beat up - almost everyday)
Of course, I’m not too fond of the regular 'my kid is an honor student at _______'stickers either, as they put kids into the same category as other ‘possessions’ you brag about (my car is better, my PC is faster, blah,blah,blah)
Actually, it is EXACTLY what he really believes. To put it mathematically:
My Truck > Your Life
See? his truck isn’t worth your life. It’s worth MORE! (asshole redneck)
Re: My kid is an honor student, etc.
My favorite variation was “My kid got your honor student pregnant.”
Pungent and to the point
You used to see those on VW Beetles a lot. A funny variation on that was one I saw on the back of a Porsche:[ul]“My other car is a VW”[/ul]
Both of those are slogans for Alcoholics Anonymous. My only guess is that AA members who drive fast haven’t got time to put stickers on their car. My dad (AA from the early '60s until his death) never put bumper stickers on his cars – he believed they made the driver look like an idiot. We did, however, notice those stickers a lot when we went on family vacations. Oddly, I can’t remember ever being passed by a car with those messages. They seemed to only be on cars we were passing.
You may have a point.
~~Baloo
A local family known for it’s public displays of homophobia(they picket funerals, churches, send ugly faxes etc.) have a bumper sticker that says “HATE IS A FAMILY VALUE!”
I’d Rather Be __________! [Surfing, skiing, flying, knitting, etc.]
I wish you were, too. Then you wouldn’t be in my way.
Baby on board
Oh, so that’s why there’s a child seat on the roof.
Free Tibet!
With purchase of two countries of equal or lesser value.
God is my copilot
Great. Tell him he left the f@#king blinker on.
hijack
the funniest bumper sticker I ever saw was one my friend has on his beemer…
I Can’t Even Park Straight!
While the TRUTH fish eating the Darwin fish has already been mentioned, no one has brought up the “DARWIN’S DEAD- AND HE AIN’T COMIN’ BACK!” variant. Funny- if I wore a “JESUS IS DEAD- AND HE AIN’T COMIN’ BACK!” T-shirt, well…
My all-time favorite bad stickers:
Scariest bumper sticker of all time: “Vegetarians taste better.” Mildly risque when on a rusted VW beetle, ominous thundercloud of fascism when on a rusted truck every square inch of which is covered with bumper stickers of the “You’ll take my gun when you take it from my cold, dead hands”, “You’ll take my gun when you take it bullets first” and “it’s open season on liberals” variety (the latter complete with crosshairs.)
As for “my kid beat up your honor student,” what the hell is that? What next- “Your honor student is a fag”? “My kid date-raped your honor student”? If we’re going to take delight in real social problems, how about “My kid is a brutish Neanderthal, and I’m SO FRICKEN PROUD!”
Now here’s an idea: a picture of Calvin, peeing on the words “YOUR KID”. I’m surprised we haven’t seen him peeing on the Darwin fish yet…
You know, come to think of it… how about a cartoon depicting the Marquis de Sade, peeing on a cross? It’s not even necessarily anti-Christian.
-Ben
Actually, I have seen that one… I think it was homemade, though.