Okay, okay, I know, It’s The Thought That Counts. Still, I got some gifts this year that left me shaking my head.
Two members of my close and immediate family (and, really, I love them dearly, and the depth and character of my love is not affected in the least by this) decided this year to Give the Gift of Sausage.
I can’t quite imagine what lead them to this choice. Hmmm, what to send Poddy? . . . She enjoys gourmet and vegetarian cooking. I know! I’ll get her a box of summer sausage and processed American-flavored cheese food! I appreciate that since I’m far across the country from them, it’s quite convenient to order a gift box of food and have it sent, but why sausage, for the love of Mike? I get these catalogs, too, and they have lots of neat stuff. Assorted candies, exotic condiments, lovely dried fruits. . . and what do I get? Salami cheese, spreadable Swiss cheese-like product, and beef stick.
Crimeny, I’ll eat it. I like a nice slab of nitrates on a saltine now and then. I’m not ungrateful. I just don’t understand.
Anybody else get odd or completely innappropriate gifts?
How can my presents be termed? Shit seems quite appropriate. Some money. A book of UL’s purporting to be true. And that’s it. Not really odd or inappropriate. Just mundane.
I got the same gift. Came with summer sausage, smoked cheese, and some other cheese. I liked it, though. Ate it all up that night.
Probably not what you’re looking for. Just thought I’d throw it in. I can’t think of anything I got that I thought was odd or inappropriate. Guess I’ve just been lucky. That or I’m not picky enough.
Have you thought that this might have been responsible for that second week of flu?
Mom almost always gives great gifts, but every once in a while she gives a real head-scratcher. One year she gave me a wood turnip with green leather leaves.
The tackiest gift I ever got was a used cake mixer - it even smelled like cake batter. Granted, I asked for one, but giving a used item is insulting. It wasn’t like these people were too poor to buy something either.
I got a puzzling basket from my father which he had obviously put together himself. It contained a large jar of mustard (stoneground but not fancy or anything), some maple syrup, playing cards, a one-use camera, some dice, a creepy sort of tickle-me-santa doll, and some gross jelly candy. Some of it I could understand, but why in the world would he send mustard???
My mother-in-law gave me a (and I’m going to have to just describe it since I have no clue what to call it)wire thing with a hook on top and a large cowbell hanging from the bottom. She said I could hang it on the deck. I guess it’s supposed to by like windchimes, but who wants to hear a cowbell evertime there’s a breeze?
I’m sure that my dad means well. I grew up in Knoxville, went to the University of Tennessee, and still keep an eye on how the Vols are doing. But the whole of my father’s side of the family are rabid UT fans. So, for Christmas, both my wife and I got horrendous, bright orange UT house shoes that are big and squishy. Albeit I don’t like or wear house shoes. At least he tries.
My cousin’s fiance got me a small Swiss Army knife for my keychain. Now, my old one was the one I’d had for almost 10 years and was starting to come apart, but we drew names on that side of the family. That was the only gift he had to get anyone. I get my (other) cousin’s husband a $25 DVD and I get a $10 (if I’m lucky) knife? Perhaps I’m just being greedy.
