I had never actually heard this Christmas Shoes song until recently. I don’t know that it’s actually THE WORST, but it is, in fact, terrible. What makes it even worse is that there’s a (I’m guessing) craptastic Hallmark movie based on it.
Worst, I can’t say, but it still sticks in the memory after a few years.
There is a restaurant in the U.S. called “Chuck E. Cheese.” It’s pizza, video and arcade games, and robotic stuffed animals performing on a stage - entertainment of its sort for kids under twelve, whose parents (and friends of the family - my role) get whined into taking the young un’s there. The namesake of the food place (low values of ‘food’) is a rat, not a mouse. Well, okay.
This was at Christmas time, and the curious performance was by the cutsie-wootsie animals on stage singing holiday songs. The song was “Can You Hear What I Hear.” On stage, the animal singing the lead was a cutsie-wootsie baby chick. The voice doing the singing was strong, and rich, and that of a quite adult woman.
The first time I heard Baby it’s Cold Outside was in the movie Elf with Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschannel singing. I thought it sounded great and they did a great job.
Then the other night I heard some gal (Kat Edmonson) and Lyle Lovett signing it on Letterman. Lovett made it sound reaaaally creepy in a stalker sort of way.
I had never heard Barbara Streisand’s version of Jingle Bells, so I just looked it up on Youtube. That was … different. Never heard the Christmas Shoes song before, either. Sounds like standard overwrought sappy dreck, from what few seconds I listened to. I think I’ll go with the Streisand version of Jingle Bells as worst.
For me it’s Michael Bolton’s version of White Chistmas. At the end he sounds like he sounds at the end of every song I’ve heard him sing: like his spleen is being torn out. I have been fortunate enough so far to have missed the Jingle Bells everyone is voting for.
But I’m kinda puzzled: Mannheim Steamroller has several albums of Christmas music. They’ve got a very distinct style, and their “Deck the Halls” is quite representative of it; it really doesn’t stand out from the rest in terms of goodness, badness, or Mannheim-ness. So it’s not like this can be the worst version of a Christmas song without being in about a 40-way tie for the, um, honor.
I’ve never had a panic attack, but when I listened to that song for the first time, I got a really good glimpse of how that would feel. That frenetic attack on the melody actually scares the hell out of me. I’m not even really comfortable thinking about it to be honest.
I’ll toss in another vote for Streisand’s “Jingle Bells”. If you’ve never heard it, imagine a Christmas song performed by someone who has never heard a Christmas song, and then imagine a song three times worse. There!
I think that’s too vague. Imagine a Christmas song performed by someone who has never heard a Christmas song and sings as if they have severe mood swings between the verses and the chorus.
I agree totally on the first two and most of the third but only Dylan’s version of Must Be Santa is the only version of that song I can stand. He also does a good “Christmas Blues”.
Anyone besides Wizard who does “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday” should get coal in their stockings.