Emo Phillips.
“Bobcat” Goldthwait.
I can’t watch either of them for more than a minute without wanting to kill them. And neither is funny in the slightest, just pathetic.
IMHO, Leno’s standup when he used to be a guest on Late Night was pretty good, and he and Dave had some excellent repartee afterwards. But I guess that’s ancient history now. sigh
Colin Quinn has to be the worst comedian (if you can call what he does comedy). I’m glad he is no longer doing Weekend Update on SNL.
Louie Anderson
Jackie Marting or Martling, or whatever his name is. I think Howard Stern just supports him to make his own crap seem decent by comparison.
Carrot Top and Gallagher are tied for worst, they both commit the cardinal sin for a comedian, they laugh at their own jokes before they make it. Let us decide it’s funny, dammit.
Louie Anderson isn’t as bad as they are, he’s just annoying.
Keith
Rodney Dangerfield. Not funny.
Gallagher. Not very funny.
I have to agree with all of the above, especially Andy Kaufman. What made this guy a “comedic genius” was beyond me.
Someone who used to be funny, but who has really gone downhill, is George Carlin. I used to laugh my ass off listening to him. He seems to have gotten way too political. I saw him back in February, and the opening comedian was much funnier.
Also sucks: Judy Tenuta, Roseanne, and just about anyone with a ventriloquist act
I have but one word:
SINBAD
Gilbert Gottfried is the least funny person alive…right after Norm MacDonald that is.
Paula Poundstone. She crossed the line from comedian who makes political jokes to a person who wants to talk exclusively about politics and tries to make it remotely funny. There’s a big difference.
This is a timely topic because I saw her the other night on the new “To Tell The Truth”. Not only is this a commentary on the success of her standup career, she went into an attempt at comedy that ended up being such a ramble that the other “celebrities” were sitting there with that pasted on embarrassed grin.
Fred Travalena & Rich Little. A lot of stand ups do pretty good impersonations, but these two just suck.
Hey, wolfman, Jackie MUST be funny! I mean, he’s always laughing at his own jokes.
I agree win cantrip about Leno. He once did a bit about circus people and anthrax spores that so funny, they had to edit it out on the repeat!
Richard Lewis. That whining #$%@&! such-and-such! I have never laughed at him. He sucks!
I still don’t know why Mark Russell keeps on getting prime time on PBS…wait, think I just answered my own question.
Gilbert Gottfried has the voice that would be chosen to torment me every moment if I go to hell.
Jay Leno is an OK guy–my brother has met him at the Rock Store in San Berdoo and the guy’s got a great hog, also he guest-starred on HOMICIDE which is several zillion coolness points–but his show is so watered-down it’s pathetic and unwatchable.
Saw Margaret Cho once, when she was on Broadway, having a late-night coffee with a couple of friends at Eureka Joe’s on 22nd and 5th. Nice enough lady.
Hmmm…I once did see Carrot Top being funny. He held up a street sign that said Crime Watch Neighborhood. He said he stole it to prove a point. Hmmmm…
A lot of these commedians I USED to like, but now I can’t stand them, except for Janine! Don’t make fun of her!
Anyhoo, how could you forget:
Ellen Degeneres. I saw her do Stand Up years ago before the whole TVshow/ComingOut/Anne Heche crap. All she did was talk about crappy airplane service. YAWN!!!
JIm Carrey. I think this one speaks for itself.
Pauly Shore.
Richard Jeni, better known as “Platypus Man”. There really couldn’t be a much better definition of hack. Every conceivable easy target made it into his act. Airline food sucks? Ho ho! Men don’t put the seat down? Ho ho ho!
Let’s all hope people stop paying this man to perform.
You people wouldn’t know unfunny if if knocked you up the ass.
example
"I hate doctors though. I went in to see the doctor yesterday and he asked me for a stool sample and a urine sample. I said, ‘Doc, you should have asked me yesterday, I just sent three pairs of pants to the cleaners!’”
or howabout
“How many Spice Girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, it was five, now it’s four, and I’m sure any day now it’ll be down to three. Uh, huhhhh…”
This gem is from the great anti-comedian, a man so bad, so unfunny, he’s actually humourus.
Ladies and Gentlemen…Neil Hamburger
For a great sample, get his live album from Malaysia. None of the crowd speaks very good english, and about half way through, someone turns on the jukebox.
Tom Green.
Pauly Shore.
Adam Sandler. I read a comment somewhere (maybe on the SDMB) that goes something like this: “The existence of Adam Sandler means we have no business mocking the French about Jerry Lewis.” 'Nuff said.
Going with the hands down Andy Kaufman. But then I detest the “funny” interviews that seem to be the latest shtick where a “dummy” interviewer asks decent people obnoxious questions. I just don’t get what’s funny about putting unsuspecting/good natured peops in awkward (not embarrassing; Candid Camera was funny) situations, which seemed to be Kaufman’s m.o.
Runner up is Jerry Lewis. Maybe it’s the times but that man, and that voice, was just not funny.
Oh I gotta go with Bill Maher. He is not funny on Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. I saw him live a few months ago and neither me nor most of the audience was laughing. He actually used notes during the performance. Plus he did alot of Monica Lewinsky jokes which were quite passe.
Also have to mention Richard Lewis. I’ve seen him live and boy was his humor dead.
…Louie Anderson
I saw this [insert profanity] do a standup at the Met in NY. (I saw it on TV, I was not there). He starts in on the homeless in NY. You thought the thread HERE got a chilly reciption, you should have seen this crowd. They were disgusted, as was I. He was absolutely cruel, not funny. I jumped way across the line of good taste. He is the only performer I’ve ever personally “boycotted” for their bad judgement/act.
Oh, I also hated Sam Kinison. Talk about a walking headache!
Zette