What? WHAT?!
If you feel you should cut out a sexually related word, for what ever stupid reason, then cut it out.
But to REPLACE clitoris with climax, what, um, climax is still dirty but clitoris is DIRTIER?..can only be some sort of twisted misogyny.
Freak you, TV people. Freak all of you.
At last! I can use my list of
Actual English Subtitles Used In Hong Kong Films
I am darn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
Gun wounds again?
Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries.
Darn, I’ll burn you into a BBQ chicken
Take my advice, or I’ll spank you a lot.
Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your toenails and leave them out on the dessert floor for ants to eat.
Quiet or I’ll blow your throat up.
I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!
You daring lousy guy.
Beat him out of recognizable shape!
Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your doctor for a thorough extermination.
I have been scared silly too much lately.
I got knife scars more than the number of your leg’s hair!
Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
How can you use my intestines as a gift?
Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feats on some but of the giant lizard person.
You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken.
Hahahaha! The second one sounds like it’s from Austin Powers (I’m sure it’s not, but it’s the kind of line they’d use), the other two sound like Tarantinoisms!
I had seen Cinderella Liberty in the theater when it first came out; don’t think I ever caught an AMC broadcast of it. Don’t remember why I had seen Cinderella Liberty but missed The Last Detail, although I was in college at the time and it may have been a matter of what my schedule was like when they were showing.
I liked Cinderella Liberty; I’ll have to dig up the author’s name (I’m sure it’s listed at imdb.com) and see if I can find any copies of his books. [sub]Just what I need - more books to add to my slush pile[/sub]
A general dubbing/sub-titleing screw up from English to Japanese is to translate the swear words to completely innocuos japanese words, with “yappari” (loosely, “of course”) being about the most popular.
In Major League, when the old pitcher (Crisco arm) drinks the rum that Cerrano has left out for Jobu, he says “Up your butt, jobu”.
The TV version- “Up your [bucket] Jobu”
Apparently, “butt” is a dirty word now.
The Breakfast Club is a good one too. “I don’t think I need to habg around with you [stinking dummies] anymore” when you can clearly see Bender saying f—ing dildos.
I prefer the one about cameron’s car. foggy memory version: “Yeah, I called your car a piece of …tin. I don’t even have a piece of …tin. I have to bum a ride in your piece of …tin.”
The most annoying I’ve heard is Planes, Trains and Automobiles. “And I really don’t care for the way your company left me in the middle of … nowhere with … keys to a … car that isn’t … there. And I really didn’t care to … walk down a … highway and across a … runway to get back here to have you smile at my … face. I want a … car RIGHT … NOW!”
I for one was traumatized by the American Pie edit. The big payoff for the “This one time, at band camp…” - gone. Nadia nudity - gone. Pie penetration - gone. It made me want the DVD just to get back to the raunch. So I had to do what I do when I want to exercise: lay down until the urge passed.
The one that came to mind when I read the thread title was Quick Change. All the usage of “fucking” was changed to “Viking.” It made for some truly odd epithets.
I’m glad this topic is here. I have a semi-related question.
SUBTITLE EDITING. I watched Das Boot yesterday and it was a few minutes before I realized I needed to change the darn thing to German Language with English Subtitles (the default is English Dubbing). And the dubbing seemed cleaned up. In the opening bar scene, the Lt. reports to the captain that his car was pissed on. The English subtitle says it correctly, but the dubbing notes he was “initiated.” What’s up with that?
As for the topic at hand, I saw Coming to America once on TV, and the barbershop scenes where HILARIOUS! The best one was when Eddie Murphy calls a boxer “One bad Mammer Jammer!”
I also saw Get Shorty on a plane. Dennis Farino’s scenes are a riot. I mean, they are funny to begin with, but he announciates his F words so well that it is clear to EVERYONE but the BLIND what he is really saying.
I think they should just bleep them. THe dubbing makes scenes comical that should not be (like in LA Confidential).
If they aren’t going to bleep them, they should take a page from the Simpsons. In the WTC episode, Homer calls the number to get the boot off his car. There is this nice voice doing the general message, and this gruff voice (Officer Grabowski or something like that) that fills in the information. IF we are to suffer dubbing, I think it should be that guy doing the voiceovers.
Valley Girl: The Elizabeth Daily character (she’s the voice of Rugrats and Babe Pig in the City) has a nude scene with her friend’s ex-boyfriend, Tommy. She tells Tommy if they go any further, she has to be his girlfriend, which makes him get up and leave, saying what a bad friend she was to his old girlfriend.
The cut shows them start to making out in the bedroom, then him leaving the room, suggesting they had sex, when that didn’t happen. It changed the whole outcome of the scene and the interactions the girls had with each other later.
My vote is always for The Breakfast Club – apart from the memorable “Forget you!” theme, there’s the most mysterious dubbing ever: “Eat my shorts” changed to “Eat my socks”. What the bloody blue fudge is that about? Since my first exposure to that wonderful bit of eighties trifle was the edited-for-television version, I naturally assumed that there was something really nasty implied, and “reconstructed” the line into an invitation to copraphagy.
“Eat my shorts.” Gasp!
Why, that young man might be unhygenic enough to have skidmarks, which is too obscene to allow even the possibility of such an inference.
“Your plea has been rejected. You will be charged the standard fine plus a small large lateness penalty. Please wait by your car between the hours of 9:00am and 5:00pm for Traffic Officer Steve Grabowski.”
One of my favorite lines from the episode.
The first time I saw Chinatown was on network TV, back in the days before VCR’s were common. For years, I thought it was a very cool, very stylish, and completely unintelligable film. It wasn’t until many years later, when I saw it on HBO, that I realized that Faye Dunaway explains half the plot in a scene – excised from the broadcast version – during which her nipple plays peek-a-boo with the frame.
The best editing job I’ve ever seen was Amazon Women on the Moon, the mid-80’s sketch comedy film with Arsenio Hall and David Allen Grier as Don “No Soul” Simmons. In one of the major bits, we follow a men’s magazine centerfold through her day in Los Angeles. The joke is that she’s just as naked walking around town as she was in her photo shoot. I saw it on network once, and was pleasantly surprised to see that they had reshot the entire scene with the actress in some skimpy lingerie so they could run an edited version on TV.
–Cliffy
In Singapore, they just screened Carrie on TV. Censored of course. The whole essential scene where she has her first menstruation and gets teased by her classmates was simply cut out. :smack:
Anybody else remember this? IIRC, the network TV broadcast of “The Untouchables” had this head-scratcher:
Original line: “Isn’t that just like a whop? Brings a knife to a gunfight. (Connery chases knife-wielding thug out of his house) Get out of here, you dago bastard!”
Dubbed line: “Isn’t that just like a whop? Brings a knife to a gunfight. (Connery chases knife-wielding thug out of his house) Get out of here, you…bastard!”
So, “whop” and “bastard” are all right but “dago” isn’t? :rolleyes:
For the record, the “One Mean Motorscooter” line is George Clooney’s, in “From Dusk Till Dawn”, and it’s the REAL line. A great one, too, if you ask me. It was part of his character’s quirky humor.
The worst savaging of a movie I ever saw was “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”, on TBS. Not only was all the profanity cut out, but so were all of the drug references, AND the entire abortion sub-plot. And when Damone’s car and locker were sprayed with graffiti? Digitally altered to say “Pig”. Which is even more incomprehensible since they cut out everything that could have possibly made Stacy mad at him.
I found this all to be triply-offensive because the whole abortion plot was an actual morality play, showing kids the trouble they could get into with casual sex. Better censor THAT…
Remember the part where Spicoli smacks himself in the head with his running show, then says to his buddy on the phone, “Hear that? That’s my skull! I am so wasted!”? That was a hilarious bit. In the ‘edited’ version, Spicoli picks up his shoe, and smacks himself in the head with it multiple times. That’s it. Anyone who had never seen the original movie would be going, “What the hell was THAT all about???”
I was on a flight a few years back and they showed the Ben Affleck/Sandra Bullock movie “Forces of Nature”. The setup for the whole movie is that there is some kind of incident on the plane he’s taking to his wedding. Well, you can’t show plane incidents on a movie shown on a plane. A smart airline would just not show the movie at all. This airline just cut a 10 minute section of the plot out of the middle, and jumped from the plane, perfectly normal, to a crowded airport full of disgruntled passengers. I’m still not sure what happened during that crucial gap.
There was some French film in the sixties, wherein the main character goes off on some other guy. His mouth is going a mile a minute, and the subtitle says,
Go away!
SmackFu reminded me of another thing about Get Shorty shown on the plane. Instead of a Plane crash to set up the dry cleaner subplot, they changed it to a train wreck.
Every time I see Blazing Saddles on TV, the n-word is still in there.
Of course, they changed the line “Up yours, n----r!” to “Get lost, n----r!”
That one always cracked me up.