Worst. Lyrics. EVAH!

Thanks to WordMan’s recommendation, I’ve just “discovered” Freddy King, who plays some very, very serious blue guitar. There’s a lot of really great stuff on the “Ultimate Collection” I’m listening to, plus my nomination for the worst song lyrics in the history of American music, Big-Legged Woman (by Leon Russell and Charles Blackwell, who both play on it – as does Carl Radle and Jim Gordon – all of this circa Layla … hmmm…).

Anyway, the song starts off thusly:

*I love the tip, I love the top, I love you better than a hog loves slop
‘Cause you’re a big legged woman, with a short short miniskirt
Promise me darlin’, you’ll never make me feel like dirt *

:rolleyes:

Top that, if you can!

Relentless lust
Of rotting flesh
To thrash the tomb she lies
Heathen whore
Of Satan’s wrath
I spit at your demise
- Slayer, Necrophiliac

It sounds like a Deathtöngue song…

The Smiths.
Some girls are bigger than others.
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls mothers are bigger than
Other girls mothers

Kid Rock’s Cowboy

The whole thing is one big steaming pile of shite (and I like Kid Rock); this just sounds like something a 14 year old would write while wasting time in Algebra class-- and yet it was released on an actual CD from an actual record company.

“I can smell a pig from a mile away”– Crikey, good for you, Bob. A lyric so wretched it makes my skin crawl.

*Big bottom, big bottom
Talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got 'em
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this behind?
*

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Big-Bottom-lyrics-Spinal-Tap/720EED439507704B48256DCE002F4A41

Bon Jovi’s “Wanted, Dead or alive”.

The whole song.

From a band with normally good lyrics:

The Who - Athena

Consumed, there was a beautiful white horse I saw in a dream stage
He had a snake the size of a sewer pipe living in his rib cage
And I felt like a priest who was being flambed
You’ve got me requisitioned, blondie

Respectfully I say to thee I’m aware that you’re cheatin’
But no one makes me feel like you do.

I’ll be there for you - these five words I swear to you!

Yes, previously known for progressive music and lyrics, got in the top 40 with this:

Here is my heart
Waiting for you
Here is my soul
I eat at chez nous

Couldn’t they have thought of a better fourth line? It’s not hard to find a rhyme for “you.” I eat at our kitchen???

“Guilty feet have got no rhythm”

It begins and ends with that.

I’m Serious As Cancer
When I Say Rhythm Is A Dancer
- Snap, Rhythm is a Dancer

Don’t say you’re easy on me
You’re about as easy as a nuclear war
- Duran Duran, Is There Something I Should Know

Horse with No Name: There was dirt and rocks and things. Things! Really, there were things? Who could have guessed there could be things. In a desert no less.

Dumbass.

You do have a point here.

Beach Boys, “Drive-In”

That’s not a deep, thoughtful rock ballad? The hell you say! Next you’ll tell me “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” isn’t a masterful work! (Actually I like both.)

While the relative worth of all lyrics is subjective, I really don’t think it’s fair to quote Spinal Tap as an example of bad lyrics…

oooh. snap!

Neil Diamond:

I am I cried to no one there.
And no one heard at all, not even a chair.

Well, duh. Chairs don’t have ears.

As far as I’m concerned I believe this is the ultimate in bad lyrics. I mean its SO BAD. My boyfriend says it EVERYTIME I ask “are you serious?” I’ve learned to just expect it.

“My Baby Does the Hanky Panky”

Repeat 4 more times.

I know there is another verse, but that is pretty much 75% of the song.

Mind you, I’m not complaining - this is a brilliant example of trash rock. Ranks right up there with “Surfin Bird”. But seeing as it was written by Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich, who cranked out dozens of Brill Building classics you might have figured they could have come up with a second line.