JESUS…H…CHRIST…
WHAT AN AWFUL LINE!
Oh God, that might take the cake for “worst lyric ever written,” right there. Why didn’t somebody else in the band try to veto that one???
It would have taken the cake if someone had not left it out in the rain.
Stop the thread … I have it…
“One is the loneliest number”
How about “I’m Kan, the Louis Vuitton Don / Bought my mom a purse, now she Louis Vuitton Mom.”
Rhyming Louis Vuitton Don with Louis Vuitton Mom. Awesome.
Muskrat, muskrat. Candlelight…
I will continue to submit to threads like this that the song Green Eyed Lady by Sugarloaf is the rock song with the best groove and the most awful lyrics.
I love Zager & Evans but even I have to admit they have some ridiculous lyrics. In this particular case they’re so awful that they’re hilarious:
When he reached the age of nine, he killed a frog with a kitchen knife
He broke the wing of a noble bird with a jagged rock his slingshot hurled
When he reached the age of ten, he stole the neighbor’s Guinea hen
Wrapped its beak in masking tape, it starved to death in 13 days
and
Now Fred was a-comin’ home
Discharged with a broken bone
Climbed aboard his plane at nine
And roared off into the clear blue sky
And that’s where planes always fly
…
Fred found a seat in row number two
Sat himself down and loosened his boots
Along came a problem with long short hair
He said, “hey man, you’re settin’ in my chair”
Fred got up, and hit the poor man
Forgot about the cast he had on his hand
Killed him dead in one clean blow
It didn’t bother Fred too much, though
from Fred
Neil Peart’s lyrics aren’t usually what I’d call “dumb”, but “The Trees” is an exception.
Well, I was “there” in the sense that I was politically conscious in '85 (though in America, not Europe), but yeah, I’d say “Russians” is dumb. A simplistic appeal to emotion on the subject of geopolitics. And does anybody really need to “hope” the Russians love their children? I get the point, but it sounds like a 5th grader’s essay, to me.
“Masters of War” I always think of for the line “when the fast bullets fly”. “Fast” bullets? There must have been a less moronic word that scanned, if he’d have just picked up a dictionary.
The Steve Miller Band, with this awful rhyme:
Abra-abra-cadabra.
I wanna reach out and grab ya.
Abra-abra-cadabra.
Abracadabra.
I also nominate this song for worst riff in rock/pop music. “na na NA… NA na na”.
Yes, but what about how he rhymed “Texas” with “facts is”? Or does that leap right over bad into so-goofy-it-works territory?
[It’s really 7…]
[Shhhh!]
Mmmmmmmm Bop
I rest my case.
You forgot how he also rhymed both of them with “taxes”, which, IMHO, pushes it into so-goofy-it-works.
I have always loved that rhyme in Take The Money And Run and I think it’s a legitimately good rhyme, just a “broken” one.
My blood’s so mad, feels like coagulating (“Eve of Destruction”)
People, people, listen up! Have you not heard “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro? It is laugh-out-loud bad:
She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I’d be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
Made even funnier because it’s actually seven words long
The title is really rendered as “(This Song’s Just) Six Words Long.” But it’s kind of moot, seeing as how there are all of those other words that Yankovic sings during the course of the song.
Someone wrote about Rosecrans Boulevard??? I only know it from, oh, Compton to Buena Park, but pray tell what kind of inspiration is that street?