Also:
Elton John: *“If I was a sculptor, but, then again, no.”
*America: *“There were plants and birds and rocks and things.”
*
I humbly submit the lyrics of my favorite artist of all time, Madonna.
(from a good song, Mother and Father):
So compelling. :rolleyes:
ETA: Oh, and more from my other favorite artist:
Shame on you if you don’t know where that’s from!
Is there gas in the car? Yes, there’s gas in the car.
I guess the members of Toto were clergy because they were blessing the rains down in Africa.
I wish I could take some time to do the things I never have.
Despite this post, I actually like the song :o
What makes you think that?
Ok, nevermind. Sorry I mentioned it.
Surely thre must be a submission from KISS, I would assume!
I didn’t mean it like that. Anyway, even though I didn’t like the singing, the rain sound effects were good.
Another song I’d like to submit: Down Down by BTO. Another song full of stupid lyrics, but I like it anyway.
There was some survey floating around at the time (don’t make me dig up a cite from 25 years ago) showing that a significant proportion of Americans believed that Russians loved their children less than Americans did. So yeah, obviously people *did *need to hope that. I totally got the point of the song… wouldn’t be a huge fan of it, but I definitely wouldn’t put it in the “dumb lyrics” category.
I mean compare it to that Culture Club song that goes War, war is stupid - yeah, stunning insight George :rolleyes:
That’s become a very popular line. When the Dan performs Kid Charlemagne live, they let the audience sing the answer – which it always does. 
The Piano Man’s full of them:
“And he’s talkin’ with Davy who’s still in the navy
And probably will be for life”
What, like a career in the navy is some kind of embarrasment or punishment or something?
Many Happy Returns by ABC
Like the phoenix coming back from the ashes
I know what’s good but I know what trash is
And from the same song:
I know that I must do what’s right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serrrrr-engeti
As promised, more cack from Train:
“Can you imagine no love, pride, deep fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when you know you’re wrong”
Fried chicken is now on a par with love & pride? These dudes will apparently stick anything in a song to make a rhyme.
One that has always bugged me, apart from Billy Corgan’s dead cat’s ass of a whiny voice is the line from " Disarm"
“I used to be a little boy”. When I finally got around to looking up the full lyrics I found out the next part of it is “so old in my shoes” which makes it a little better in context, but the line alone just sounds stupid as all hell. The next line, “What I choose is my choice” is unforgivable, though.
Add me to the (short) list of people who love the song “Russians”, though I think if the music wasn’t so evocative the lyrics would be kind of silly.
There are, of course, countless horrible lyrics in obscure rock and pop songs. If we stick to hits, then the one I always think of, the one that for me stands out above the crowd, is this couplet from Sonny and Cher’s “Beat Goes On”:
* And men still keep on marching off to war
Electrically they keep a baseball score*
That second line – I guess it’s the combination of the tortured phrasing and the fact that the songwriter is attempting to make a point about the craziness of modern life by citing (a) perhaps the greatest tragedy of human history and (b) electric baseball signs. Pure gold!
If we venture into obscure songs, then I submit this, from “Dandelions” by Friend & Lover. Please imagine it being delivered with great earnestness and a sense of profundity.
* What if a dandelion could talk?
We'd be so careful where we'd walk!
Maybe a dandelion would say
"Please be my friend today."*
Or maybe a dandelion would say, “OW!! SON OF A BITCH!!! PICK UP YOUR GODDAMN FEET, ASSHOLE!!!”
I’ll trot out the same stanza I always do for these threads, from “Athena” by The Who:
Consumed, there was a beautiful white horse I saw in a dream stage
He had a snake the size of a sewer pipe living in his rib cage
And I felt like a pickled priest that was being flambed
You got me requisitioned, blondie
WTF, Pete?
I always read that as a swipe against the leaders of America and Britain demonizing the Russians, as opposed to a simplistic appeal to our basic humanity. In fact, the message I took away from that song was that the Russians weren’t the “bad guys” of the cold war, the politicians were (on both sides). I didn’t think it was dumb at all.
When I read this thread title, Alanis Morisette immediately sprang to mind, but after reading through I’ve decided there’s far, far worse!
How about the following from “In the Year 2525”:
Now it’s been ten thousand years
Man has cried a billion tears
Actually, if you think about it, Man probably cries a billion tears every two or three weeks.
I always get a giggle out of The Warrior, by Scandal:
You talk, talk, you talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically
Ewww. Not to mention shootin’ at the walls of heartache, bang bang!
Whoa, whoa! You win the thread, okay? Let’s just…stop right there.