If you’re in a hurry, both baked potatoes and pizza can survive the microwave and still taste good.
Provided you pop them in the toaster oven afterward. I think I’m even beginning to prefer the “microwave-first” baked potatoes–you can zap them until they are real sweet.
You’re supposed to turn them over half-way between cooking.
Anything with pastry (eg: quiche, pot-pies, etc) definitely have an ass-like taste.
It was 11pm. I was bored. I’d never seen pork rinds before. Take my advice. DO NOT buy these. I’d rather not talk about them anymore. The memories are quite painful.
About a month ago, I was deadly sick. I begged my mom to make me a grilled cheese sandwich, but she was tired, and just wanted to go to bed. “Just put the damn thing in the microwave, I don’t even care!” I was kidding, she took me seriously. plopped 2 pieces of bread in the toaster, stuck some cheese in the middle, and shoved it in the microwave. That was the worst grilled cheese sandwich I’ve ever had in my entire life…
Ever tried microwaving the leftovers from one of those “breaded onion with dipping sauce” concoctions you can get at Chilis, Outback Steakhouse? etc.
Wretched. Simply wretched.
Leftover deep-fried, breaded okra. I will speak of it no more.
Paul Lukas, the witty writer of Inconspicuous Consumption, also his zine Beer Frame writes about microwave pork rinds.
On the package, it says “You’ll hear them sizzlin all the way to your bowl.”
He says he tried them and believes its a typo.
It should read You’ll hear them sizzlin all the way to your bowel.
Ahh yes the microwave pork rinds. Packets of those appeared in the vending machine at my old job – the guy who stocked it looked like Jerry Springer, what can I say. Out of morbid curiosity, someone tried to cook them. After about a minute, the bag caught on fire.
“Ah,” said one of my managers, who incidentally eats regular pork rinds with cheese-in-a-can, “you people just don’t know how to use the microwave. Let me show you.” One minute later, a microwave and staff room full of smoke.
So, um, yeah. I think that counts as not reheating well. 
Meat is nasty in a microwave, be it thawed, cooked or reheated.
“Baked” potatoes are nasty in the microwave.
They are excellent for popcorn, making tea and steaming vegetables.
This may not be a typo: …all the way to your [toilet] bowl.
What the hell’s up with microwaveable pork rinds? I’ve never even heard of such a thing. You guys are talking about the pork rinds you get in a bag that are hard and crunchy, kinda like trailer trash potato chips, right? Who in God’s name decided they needed to be heated up? Have the yokels finally taken over our culture? Where will it end? Are they going to start marketing Crisco as a meal?
Cal, your “Ore-Ida Shredded Ass” idea seems less like fiction with every passing post.
Woodstockbirdybird:
You’ve got me wondering – where the heck do you live? I just wanted to know where “tastes like ass” is a regionalism. I’ve never stumbled across it before.
– CalMeacham, who’s married to Pepper Mill, and likes re-microwaved pizza.
I once tried the horror that is Microshake. Now, I guess it’s delicious if you like slightly melted, freezer burned, cheap ice-cream. For those of us without a sophisticated enough palate to enjoy this flavor combinaition, though, it is an abomination.
I think that WSBB lives somewhere in California.
Also, my friends and I used " (tastes/smells/looks etc.) like ass" quite a bit growing up in Pittsburgh.
I’m afraid so. “Crisco On A Stick”.
yum.
A few years ago, a friend and myself decided to make some KD. Now, in those lazy hazy days of summer, stirring boiling water over the stove does not seem like a good idea, and so, we resorted to the microwave directions.
BAD IDEA.
It turned out like…GUM. That’s right…Kraft Dinner gum! Who was at fault (the microwave, us, the directions) I do not know, but what was obvious was that I would never again eat that sticky, congealed, orange mess. (or at least for a really long time)
BLLLEGHHHHHHH!!!
Hey Cal, I live in Oakland, CA, although I first heard the term used when I was in the army from some guy from NYC. And he said “It smells like ass”, which I thought was funny, so I appropriated it and applied it to other situations (tastes like ass, etc.). So maybe it’s just a regionalism in that my friends and I use it. Thank you for expressing an interest in Woodstockbirdybird’s Pathetic Life, Inc. (a subsidiary of the Time-Warner Corp.).