“Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
I didn’t mean it! Stop throwing things at me! Don’t make me get the brute squad!
Titanic, when they realize the ship has sprung a leak: “This is bad.”
Well, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
And these immortal words from the truly unbearable Tough Guys Don’t Dance: “Oh God…oh man…Oh God…oh man…oh God…oh man…oh God…oh man…oh God!”
Reminds me of the movie Species. The alien hunting crew walks into a room where someone has been ripped to pieces and Forrest Whittaker says, “Something bad happened here” as he looks over the gore. The drunk chick in the row behind me summed it up perfectly, “wow, he’s a Fing genius!”
Just about any “witty” remark uttered by Roger Moore in any of his James Bond movies.
:rolleyes:
Return of the Jedi. The rebels are in that base-thing on Endor, and the Imperial cops come running in pointing guns at them. One of the Imperial cops points his gun at Han and says, “You rebel scum.”
It looks OK written out, but even at age 9, seeing it in the theater, I thought, “Now THERE’S a line that just didn’t come out right…” The guy who said it gave it the most lame, poorly inflected delivery I’ve ever heard.
Two other candidates mentioned already: Andie Macdowell’s “Is it raining? I didn’t notice” and Gloria Stewart’s “Blah blah blah woman’s heart is deep and full of secrets like the ocean blah blah blah.”
Defensible, actually. The Titanic had a compartmentalised hull; there were 16 compartments, and it could lose four of them without sinking. The iceberg collision caused six or seven of them to flood. The point being, the Titanic springing a leak was not necessarily a thing to worry about.
And as Douglas Adams so elegantly noted in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to Galaxy, humans do have a tendency to remark on the painfully obvious.
“It’s dark in here”, anyone?
George Lucas couldn’t write dialogue to save his life (however good the rest of his accomplishments were). A couple of examples from the original Star Wars still bug me:
“We’ve found an abandoned Rebel Base, but we estimate it has been deserted for some time.”
No, no, no – "We estimate it has been deserted for three weeks. Or three days. Or three centons, or whatever. If you estimate you’re actually putting a numerical value on something. Or say “It has been deserted for some time.”
Or:
Uncle Owen:" He’s just a crazy old man. I don’t even think he exists anymore."
No — “I don’t even think he’s alive anymore.” Or if it’s someone you only have hearsay about, you could maybe say “I don’t think he ever existed.” But mixing the two is as bad as estimating that something was deserted for some time.
I so totally agree! My brother and I both think this is one of the corniest lines in movie memory! We had to wonder if he was someone’s relative and was promised that he’d get to be in the movie and this was all they could come up with!
Witness this stirring conversation between the Postman and his sidekick, Ford Lincoln Mercury (I shit you not, those who have not seen it)
FLM: So, how do you become a Postman?
PM: Well, you have to be made one by another Postman.
FLM: Hmmm…so it’s like becoming a vampire, then?
PM: Sort of.
Cripes.
Thing is, if this entire movie had been recast with David Spade as the Postman, and Chris Farley as his sidekick, Ford Lincoln Mercury (I still can’t believe this shit), this might have been the funniest movie ever.
You must have missed the bits in the Star Wars movies where Jedi continue to exist after they die.
You really might be on to something there. Has there ever been a post-apocolyptic movie spoof? I can’t think of any. Could be an area rich with satire possibilites.
Somehow I don’t think that’s what Uncle Owen had in mind – especially when talking to somebody who isn’t supposed to know Ben Kenobi is a Jedi Knight.
In furthering my claim that Kevin Costner speaks the worst lines of dialogue ever,
I offer additional evidence:
from, Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
Robin Hood just jumped up into the belfry of a church, that he’d just robbed, he looks down the trap door at the Sherrif of Nottingham, points his finger at him and says…
“It begins.”
Now, I know that the idea was to have a heroic moment when Robin throws down the gaunlet with just a manly, terse, minimum amount of words but the way he says them just make me cringe. There is no menace at all. He had all the thespian power of a 14 year old forced to act in the school play because he’d get grounded from football if he didn’t participate in other school activities more.
…ummmm… You’re supposed to laugh.
Way too many people take “Starship Troopers” seriously.
At the risk of re-opening an old argument on the SDMB, if it’s in the movie ST it almost certainly isn’t in the book.
Especially the movie’s dialogue.
“A Boy And His Dog”?
Dagger of Kamui. It tried to be a good movie, it really did, but it was so over-the-top that I just couldn’t take it seriously. And it didn’t help that they made no real effort to show Kamui’s transition into a totally alien world (the U.S.). Everyone, including the Native Americans, spoke Japanese. :rolleyes:
The clincher was when Kamui met a stranger who introduced himself in perfect Japanese…
“Watakushi wa Mark Twain desu.” (I am Mark Twain.)
The entire theatre burst out in uncontrollable laughter.
Was Hell comes to Frogtown a spoof, or just very very bad?
In some Brendan Lee movie I was forced to watch - was it The Crow? - Our Hero laments the brutal murder of his father by the villain. The clingy, whiny, annoying Love Interest replies,
“We all have to die sometime.”
…