Worst Program Guide Description of All Time

I usually see descriptions like

Ocean’s Eleven: Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle (2002) Brad Pit, Don Cheadle. Danny comes up with a plan to ste

My cable box always has this to say about the Spider-Man cartoon show

“One minute he is Peter Parker, college student”

And?!
I guess I’ll never know…

Back in high school, I had a summer job where I actually came up with and typed in the movie descriptions for a satellite grid listing company. It was pretty challenging trying to squeeze an entire movie’s plot into a way-too-short space most of the time. Especially if it was an ancient spaghetti western or something similar that I had never heard of. When one of those popped up, I’d grab one of our movie review books (Leo what’s-his-name) and try and gather some info on it. For the more obscure films, the books didn’t have much info at all either.

The newspaper ran a description similar to this for an episode of Dateline NBC a couple of weeks ago:

“Newest threat in global terror; singer Kelly Clarkson”.

Years ago I saw the following summaries in the flyer for a movie theater:

Last Year at Marienbad: Director Alain Resnais depicts the uncertainties of love.
Psycho: Janet Leigh hasn’t taken a shower since making this film.

The Simpsons Homer and Marge raise three kids.

I swear to God, that’s what it said.