Saw the first one of these. It was called Cast A Deadly Spell.
OK, going for movies that tried to be good, failed, and wound up sucking beyond the Cheese Zone:
Universal Soldier 2
Highlander 2
Event Horizon
Star Trek 5 (The only Star Trek movie I haven’t made it all the way through
Star Trek (It’s so very fortunate for the ST franchise that ST2 The Wrath Of Khan was so good)
Robocop 2
If you count it as sci-fi: Superman 4
Sphere
The Hollywood Godzilla
Species 2
Jurassic Park 2
Hmmm. There seems to be a pattern here. Sci-fi sequels seem to do badly (Star Wars and Star Trek are the main exceptions)
I haven’t seen Mission To Mars or Battlefield Earth yet, but the buzz is that both of these movies are terrible.
I remember something that Steve Mcqueen starred in which was a pretty awful monster movie.
and that Sean Connery one where one of the most memorable lines is " the penis spits death!!!" and he goes off flying around in a giant head - most wierd, most crap.
Battle Beyond the Stars was supposed to be The Magnificent 7 in space but was cringingly terrible.
I’m disappointed that no one yet has mentioned “Ice Pirates”. Beyond hideous.
Others that have been neglected: “The Forbidden Zone”. This is the Oingo Boingo movie, mad around 1976 or so. B&W, so bad it’s hilarious. It’s not Plan 9 (it’s got a plot of sorts, and has some highly amusing musical numbers), but it is filled with BAD acting at an amazing level. Features Herve V. of Fantasy Island fame.
“Prince of Space”. Lots of bad Japanese SF from the 50’s and early 60’s is memorable, but this is way up there in cheese. “Your weapons cannot hurt me, for I am Prince of Space!” Best seen as an MST3K episode.
“Angry Red Planet”. A giant rat/bat/spider thing is the villian in this piece. “hey chief! How cum we’re floatin’?” “Why, you fool! There’s no gravity in Outer Space!”
“The 50 foot Bride of Candy Rock”. Lou Costello makes a SF solo picture. He has a vaccuum cleaner that allows him to change time and space. Hilarity ensues, with pathos mixed in.
“The Ghost of Dragstrip Hallow”. OK, it’s not SF. But it’s really bad. Drag racing. Grandma humor with a parrot. Bad musical numbers and really bad monsters.
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*Originally posted by casdave *
**I remember something that Steve Mcqueen starred in which was a pretty awful monster movie.
[QUOTE]
IIRC that would be “The Blob”. Isn’t that a camp classic?
and that Sean Connery one where one of the most memorable lines is " the penis spits death!!!" and he goes off flying around in a giant head - most wierd, most crap
http://www.stomptokyo.com/movies/zardoz.html
That would be Zardoz
Wow, I didn’t get flamed for not hating Independence Day…thanks, guys!
Do we have to stick to movies? There have been enough bad SciFi TV shows to make this topic live forever - I got to watch one of them this moring on the SciFi Channel - “Otherworld” - pure, festering, poorly executed, stiffly acted, laughably written, CRAP!!! It lasted about half a season in the mid-eighties. Anyone remember that one?
And, by the way, does “Mega-Force” count as SciFi? It certainly counts as “bad beyond description”…
I’m sorry but I thought ** The Matrix ** sucked. The plot was not original or interesting, nor were its special effects (“Eww watch this where they speed up the film; oooh now they’ve slowed it down;Alright! A 30 second shot of empty bullet casings hitting the ground;Hey is this a movie or a Gap ad?”). The acting was also horrible from Reeves’ complete lack thereof, to Fishburne’s overacting. My favorite is when he’s offering Reeves the pills. Every time he says something ominous lightning stikes behind him. That’s just poor. And exactly how many time does Larry have to take off or put on his sunglasses before we realize a) that they clip to his nose and b) they’re RayBans. “Oooh and whatever happens NEO (erk) don’t die cuz you’re the one (Christ refrerence; erp-hic) and I love you.” (hic-erp WREEEEEEEEEETCH)
Battle Beyond the Stars
I thought that ship looked like a uterus with the fallopian tubes and ovaries attached.
How about Frakenstein with Ken Brannaugh and Robert Dinero?
The endless scens of the Ken trying to pick up Bob who is naked and covered with aminotic fluid is really disturbing and could very well be the cause of some of my darkest nightmares.
Nightflyers, I believe it’s called. Based on a book by George R.R. Martin that I’ve never read. I have to read it now, because the movie made no sense at all.
And while I’m at it, I know that a lot of people seem to think that Sandkings from Outer Limits is great. I’d like to know WHY. It’s got a good set-up, but it wallows in possible endings and variations of no great originality or sense. I think this was based on a Martin story, too.
It is, and it’s one of the creepiest stories I’ve ever read; wonderfully moody and chilling.
Close the polls. The worst science-fiction (and I use the term extremely loosely) movie ever is:
<drum roll>
Nightfall (1988)
Bad, bad, bad.
Bad sets.
Bad customes.
BAd acting.
Bad script.
Bad plot.
Bad adaptation of a classic short story (original short story by Isaac Asimov. In my opnion, possibly the most inept adaptation of a story ever.
Bad hair.
Bad lighting.
Bad editing.
Paul Mayersberg. How does a man go from The Man Who Fell to Earth to this crap?
David Birney.
That traitor dude from Battlestar Galactica.
Bad science.
Bad religion.
Bad company (sorry, couldn’t resist, but whoever released this puppy deserves to go under).
It’s just plain painful. Probably the only reason it was never done by MST3K is because it’s so damnably boring.
But why take my word for it? Check out the Washington Post review:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/nightfallpg13harrington_a0aa86.htm
Avoid at all costs!
Which I watched the other night on one of the local channels. I was lucky enough to have a history teacher in high school who used movies to illustrate historical periods, and he used that for the late 70s / early 80s. I had completely forgotten that Joe Morton was the Brother.
Thank you, Dr. Aiello, for introducing me to John Sayles movies.
Logan’s Run. The worst ever.
We start with some pretty good source material. Yes, there are many better sf novels out there, but this one’s not bad at all. We add an excellent cast – Michael York, Jenny Agutter, Roscoe Lee Browne, Richard Jordan, and Peter Ustinov. We’re not talking big name talent here, but we are talking about big talent. Five very talented actors who worked their butts off with this drivel they were given. (No, I’m not forgetting Farrah Fawcett. I wish I could, though.) I can’t imagine what the producers or director thought they were doing with that material. The best I could figure was they were dumping all the social material and trying to replace it with an action movie. It failed on that level, too.
Independence Day wasn’t any good, but I did have fun identifying the source material everytime they ripped off some other sf movie.
Ok, I hate to bring this one up but…
“Moontrap” or, as I like to think of it, “Commander Chekhov and Briscoe County Jr Go To The Moon.”
Ok, two happy-go-lucky astronauts on a moon mission discover a vast alien complex - and a gorgeous, naked woman. Turns out the alien complex is a chop-shop and the beautiful, but now no longer naked, girl was intended as spare parts and has been hibernating for thousands of years. Then Bruce Campbell gets caught and chopped up and turned into an evil Transformer, apparently mistaking his buddy Walter Koenig for Optimus Prime. Then Koenig gets the gorgeous girl naked again and boinks her. In the end, Chekhov and the Babe knock off Cyber-Campbell and go back to Earth where she seamlessly integrates herself into his suburban existance as the ultimate trophy wife.
ARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!
Someone in my town had the bright idea to open a movie ‘theatre’ (which in previous incarnations was the site of three failed dinner shows - should have been the warning sign) to show Lost in Space every night.
…in 3D.
This was well after the movie was out on video. I never saw more than 8 cars in the parking lot at any one time, and most of these were probably employees. And the $10 admission fee was probably a turn-off, too. :rolleyes: It hung on for about 4 months and finally closed. The billboards came down about 2 months later.
I remember that, screech. It was on the West side of Kissimmee, on Vine Street (or is it Irlo Bronson Highway?), half-way to Disney World, in the theatre that once was the home of American Gladiators. Someone came up with a computer program that could turn ordinary “flat” movies into 3D. If they could have gotten the rights to transform a more popular* movie like Titanic into 3D, it might have succeeded.
*Note that I did not say, “better,” I said, “more popular.”
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jab1, you are correct - the Millenium Theatre! (formerly, a medieval dinner theatre that never got past the planning stages, then empty, then something else, then a game show based on Robin Hood, then ‘American Gladiators’ dinner show (closed twice for lack of worker’s comp insurance), and in its latest use, the filming site for the “Rollerjam” tv extravaganza. You think someone would check out the feng shui :rolleyes: before moving in! And you’re right, perhaps another more popular movie would have been more profitable.
And yes, Rte. 192 = Space Coast Parkway = Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway = Vine Street = 13th Street = (some other member of the powerful Bronson clan) Street, all the way from Rte. 27 all the way out to the Atlantic Ocean.
(BTW, remember King Henry’s Feast, Wild Bill’s Dinner Show and Blazing Pianos? Belly-up, out of business. But ‘Splendid China’ and ‘Titanic: The Exhibition’ are still hanging on, somehow.)
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‘Blair Witch Project’ was fairly good when seen in the context of an intimate theatre (the artsy Enzian Theatre, during the Florida Film Festival), but lost a lot when it went to the big screen and video.
Charleton Heston usually walks a fine line between acting and emoting. Sometimes this works (Planet of the Apes and The Ten Commandments stand out in my mind), but in Soylent Green he didn’t just cross the line, he kicked it, spit on it, shot it, gave it the Stone-Cold Stunner, gutted it, threw it over his shoulder, and took it home and mounted it in his bathroom. Throw in an apocalyptic theme about overpopulation, “food riots” that were filmed on a back lot with about twenty extras, and a fashionably pessimistic ending, and it’s hard to beat this one. I won’t say it’s the worst ever (Highlander II was really bad), but it’s at least in the top ten.