No, they don’t, they just like to pretend they do. Owning a pet is a relatively minor, temporary obligation, it doesn’t compare with the lifelong responsibility that being a parent or child does: if a dog lasts 15 years it had a good innings and you can buy another one; if a child dies at 15 years, it’s a tragedy, an irreplaceable loss. It’s insulting for someone to compare the sentiment they feel for what is essentially an chattel to genuine human love.
I think you’re being insensitive. (Yeah, that’s coming from ME :rolleyes:) Under the right conditions one can love an animal as much as a human. To some people, pets ARE their children. Just because you feel some way doesn’t mean everyone does.
Yes, but unless you are really oblivious or really old, you expect your dog or cat to die before you do. Cats sometimes live be 20 years old, but it’s not that common. You do not expect your children to die before you. We’ve had quite a number of dogs and cats die, and we were extraordinarily sad about it. I’m still sad when I think of the ones who died entirely too young. This does not in the slightest compare to how I would feel if one of my children or my grandchild died. I honestly don’t know if I could remain sane at that point.
Cheerful yellow is a great color. HowEVER, as someone who painted my kitchen and laundry room no fewer than three times each, getting the RIGHT yellow is very difficult. What I thought looked lemon/sunshiny yellow in Lowe’s ended up looking like Hot Dog toppings in my little laundry room. The kitchen? It took me something like four re-mixes of my paint to get just the right pretty creamy colored yellow.
Never again.
Whether I’m spouting about being unemployed or getting a girlfriend or both, twice I got: You should get a pet.
WTF?? Let’s see. I’ve never had a pet, nor wanted one, but committing to a new expense of food and vet visits will help me get a job and a girlfriend??
You don’t know a person’s mind or heart. And…you’re comparing apples to oranges. It doesn’t matter if the dog had “good innings” or not. It’s what its human feels. Human beings are complex creatures, many of whom are quite capable of feeling as strongly toward a pet as others would feel toward a child or parent. We’re not talking about whether the responsibility is as great, or if the pet is interchangeable with any other pet by virtue of their short lifespan or whatever. Obviously it requires a lot more responsibility to care for a child. There are those who, for whatever reason, can’t bond with other people the way they can with a pet, well… it doesn’t mean that the way they feel isn’t just as strong to them as a typical person’s love is for a family member. It’s insensitive of you to insist that everyone whose heart doesn’t match the way yours works is stupid or “pretending”.
Whether or not someone can feel the same amount of love for a pet as for a human, to state to someone who just lost a parent that the losses are equivalent is a tone-deaf move that indicates a serious lack of understanding of social interaction and human relationships.
Even the craziest pet owner should be able to maintain an awareness, on some level, that not all people accept pet relationships on the same level as human relationships, and should be able to recognize that it’s possible that the person who just lost a human parent might not be comforted by the comparison.
Which often comes up when people are uncomfortable talking about death to someone who’s just lost a loved one. It’s NOT ABOUT YOU. It’s about the person who suffered the loss, and not about how uncomfortable you are at engaging in social interaction.
Affection for an animal is a simulacrum for the love of a human being because it carries no risk. Loving a person is a fraught, tricky endeavour with the constant risk of failure, hurt and betrayal; it is complicated and dangerous. “Loving” a pet, on the other hand, means feeding them a couple of times a day and taking them for the odd walk; it is a safe indulgence. Comparing the two mocks the depth and intricacy of human love and commitment.
Yes “He” stop treating me back in 2003, said he couldn’t help me after 8 years.
…and that’s why I will never do that again. I would kill to have a cat(s) right now, but I can’t.
Never the less it was an inconsiderate thing to say.
I’m liking the sideshow on the pet/human passing on topic. Someone start a debate before I get drunk and do it. 
A coworker, upon being told that I’ve suffered from chronic depression my entire adult life: “Oh, cheer up. You might win the lottery tomorrow.”
A nurse practitioner, upon being told that I have uncontrollable late-night binges, and eat more than I should have eaten all day: “Have you tried sucking on pieces of ice?”
While playing visa bait is obviously flawed, going to Africa is a great way to get a man and I know lots of very happy marriages that started basically like this. There is a growing class of educated men who are interested in educated, modern, confident women- which can be in short supply locally. Added to that, I think there is just a wider appreciation of feminine beauty. If you are white, people don’t have a ton of ideas about white people are “supposed” to look like, and plain women can find men who sincerely find them the most enchanting creature they’ve ever seen. It’s the same alchemy by which an American guy in China finds himself surrounded by exotic beauties where a Chinese guy would see dark-skinned, wide-lipped farm girls. Finally, African cultures can be very focused on marriage and kids. A guy isn’t going to make you wait for a ring or jerk you around for years before deciding he’s “not ready.” If a man is dating you and it is going well, marriage will be on the table pretty quickly.
So maybe it is bad advice for you, but tere is some truth behind it.
Yeah, there is a reason there are so many “Need help with my boyfriend/daughter/father/sister/aunt threads”, and a corresponding lack of ones about “How can I tell if my dog doesn’t like me?”. Affection for a pet is attractive because it’s uncomplicated; it’s easy to tell yourself you have a deep, rich and abiding love for your cat or dog, but, it can’t compare to human love because there is nothing truly real at stake, there is nothing important at stake. It dies, you get a new one. It runs off, ditto. Deep down pet owners know it won’t do any of the hard things people do that can make being with them so fraught. That’s why declarations that caring for a pet is a strong as love for a child or parent are empty and shallow, because caring for an animal carries no risk.
I had a stroke last year & became legally blind. my sister-in-law asked if there was a physical therapy I could take for it.
(I envisioned blind ppl all over the world doing jumping jacks…)
not sure my post “took” so will do it again…
I had a stroke last year & became legally blind. my sister-in-law asked if there was a physical therapy I could take for it. :smack:
I envisioned blind ppl all over the world furiously doing jumping jacks…
Weighing risk has nothing to do with love. The former is a cold calculation. The latter is based entirely on how you feel. There are definitely people I love more than my pets, but there are quite that I love less. Pets at least beat casual friendship, hands down. How do I know? Because I know how sad I am when my casual friend exits my life versus how sad I am when my pets leave my life. Weighing the risks had nothing to do with it.
no. misstee’s post is entirely correct. animals are not people.
Someone on the Dope (I’ve forgotten who) strongly suggested I not joing the Peace Corps. They said I lacked the emotional maturity and predicted I would crash and burn. They basically said it was the worst idea I could have come up with.
Four years of service, three languages, two continents, nine countries, half a masters in International Development, hundreds of students, dozens of friendships and one quickly rising career later, I can safely say that was bad advice.
I had been stagnating and depressed because I couldn’t see the path between my life (minimum wage, old college town, “useless” degree, unambitious friends, failing relationship) and the life I dreamed of. Peace Corps put me on a career path, introduced me to ambitious successful people I would have never met in my old hometown, made my dreams of travel a reality, massively broadend my horizons, got me away from distractions and gave me a chance to finally make use of my sense of purpose. Best thing I could have done. I havn’t been depressed, broke or stuck since- and I did it without having “the maturity” to accept a life in a cubicle relegating my dreams to a two-week vacation.
No, I didn’t say that we calculate the risk, but we do accept its presence, that loving a person carries the chance of it ending badly in the way that caring for an animal doesn’t.