Worst Table Manners You've Witnessed?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Apricot’s thread made me curious about how bad it could get. No matter the setting - McDonald’s or family holiday or Fancy Restaurant, what’s the worst you’ve seen from Someone Who Should Know Better? I don’t know that it’s really fair to include little tiny kids stuffing peas up their nose and things like that - unless the parents are blithely letting them do something especially disgusting with no protest.

Once I saw a guy at a seafood restaurant who either did not notice or did not care that his chin was all coated with shiny drawn butter. That’s the worst I can think of right now.

2

Fast food restaurant, dude sitting in one of the can’t-move-them-chairs, leaning on the wall with his feet up on the next chair. His cell rings, he takes it, starts talking loudly (while still taking occasional bites of his sub); this makes one of the girls at the counter notice him and move in his direction. As she prepares to descend upon him like a very polite bat out of hell

he proceeds to pick between his toes. Still on the phone and eating.

She forgot about the polite part completely, pushed his feet off the chair simultaneously with yanking the phone off his hand and dressed him down in a style that would have made any mother proud.

3

The worst I’ve seen was from my ex-boyfriend. He loved spagetti, ate it almost every day. He would firmly grasp the fork in his right fist and shovel, face inches from the plate. Now, I didn’t mind this at home, I eat like a pig when no one’s watching. Although, I do tend to mind when, we’re out to eat at a nice, quiet little italian restaraunt, and he proceeds to shovel/slurp a whole plate full of pasta into his face in two minutes flat. I was hoping nobody noticed. :o

4

Dunno if this is “table manners” but the worst thing I’ve seen is a young couple who decided to change their baby’s diaper on the table at an upscale fast food place.

Mr. Athena and I pretty much just gaped at them. Changing a diaper? Where people eat?!? :eek:

5

[slight hijack]

Not worst manners, because it was not intentional, nor habitual, but it was a Most Embarrasing Moment.

Wife and I went to a famous Aussie themed steakhouse chain, and I ordered a beer to drink while mulling over the menu. I drank most of it with great gusto. The waitress came back to get the order, and when I opened my mouth, out came an unprompted (lacking the usual gastric discomfort cues) belch that registered as a seismic event. :eek:

I nearly crawled under the table.

[/slight hijack]

6

It was a very formal event at a very upscale restaurant, celebrating a 75th Birthday. A very uncouth, dirty pig started using a fork to clean under his fingernails.

7

My grandmother. She would eat with her mouth open, and talk, and food would fall out, and she would reach over and pick food up from your plate, and deposit food from her plate onto yours. My sister and I would fight over who got to sit next to her at dinner–she was so pleased, never knowing that if we sat next to her we wouldn’t have to look at her!

8

My ex-husband, completely lacking in any civility, would lick his plate clean. At home, this wasn’t too annoying, but he would do it in a restaurant if it was just the two of us. At home, he would fart at the dinner table. WTF? Who farts at the dinner table? Cretin.

One thing I see at restaurants all the time that I think is rude is that guy that always has to blow a huge wad of snot into a napkin or handkerchief at his table. Really. You couldn’t get off your ass and go to the restroom to do that?

9

That’s funny. I assume that this was when you were kids. Three of us 30-somethings at my office have the same problem in our cafeteria. When we eat together, we generally sit at a table for 4, with 2 of us on one side and 1 on the other side. Everyone wants to be the one sitting alone in case Paul happens to see us and wants to sit with us. You do NOT want to see Paul eat…

A simple sandwich turns into a condiment mess. Pieces of lettuce and tomato get caught in his beard. Mustard and mayo appear in his mustache. He somehow manages to get mustard on his forehead. One time he was eating wings and the sauce somehow got behind his ear. Plus, he eats while he talks and spits out the occasional piece of bread or meat. He drools, he coughs and sneezes. He makes all kinds of weird noises, hacking, gurgling, throat clearing, the works. When we’re done, he gets up and what looks like half the sandwich is in his lap.

But afterwards, he cleans up, goes back to his office to manage his team of 10, and no one besides us knows what a slob he is.

10

The most annoying display of “bad table manners” I’ve seen was while dining out at a fairly upscale restaurant. The table behind my ex-boyfriend’s chair was occupied by a family - dad, older daughter who was about 12 years old, son who was close behind at 11, and the youngster, a girl of 8 or so.

The father of the family loudly berated the older girl the entire time about her poor table manners. “Put your napkin on your lap.” “You’re holding your fork wrong; do you need me to take it from you?” And so on.

I tried to ignore him. What better way to teach his child to eat properly than taking her out for real world experience?

I noticed something then: every time the father would issue a command to the oldest child, the younger two would do the opposite. I couldn’t tell if they were egging on their sister, or if they were just being jackasses.

I could see their dad getting more worked up as the minutes flew by. Finally, he’d had enough. He grabbed the oldest girl by the arm to take her outside and give her a lecture. On his way from the table, he told the others to go ahead and order dessert, but sis wouldn’t be having any. WTF? Are you blind? Whip the young ones into shape and you’ll see that the oldest has been nothing but polite for the last hour.

I stepped outside for a smoke at that point. Sure enough, the father and daughter were in the front seat of his vehicle. Father was leaning toward her, yelling in her face, while she sat stoically. This continued while I finished smoking. The lecture wasn’t finished by the time I returned to our table.

The other two were in the middle of a pretend boxing match. Dessert was half spilled on the table. The young girl would get up and run around their table, smacking her brother on her way past. I really wanted to go say something to the heathens, but I was afraid of their father by that point.

Finally, finally, their father returned. “Get your stuff; your sister’s done eating. Let’s go.” I was still a bit perplexed. I really wanted to say something to him, but I couldn’t define what line he, as a parent, had crossed. Ooh, yeah, I’m a coward like that.

So, moral of the story: manners are not something that ought to be enforced, suddenly, to one of three children, at the tender age of 12 (or so). Life long habits, people. There’s nothing wrong with teaching these things to young children. I, as a non-parent, always appreciate seeing well-behaved children while dining out. And, for gad’s sake, stop lecturing at the table. It kills my appetite, and I have nothing to do with your family.

11

We ate dinner at a friend’s house once. It was fried chicken and there were no napkins. They all chewed with their mouths open, licked their fingers and wiped them on their clothes.

12

That’s a really strange situation, Bratti. I wonder what was behind it all?

My story is similar to theunfounddoor’s. My sister used to date this boy that I charitably said was raised by wolves. Actually, I think his mother was a drug addict or alcoholic or something. He pretty much raised himself. The result was, he was just loose in the world, no direction, no nothing. He did whatever seemed right and he liked at the time, and the result was that he was tattoo’d within an inch of his life, pierced so much he practically leaked and seemed ignorant of even the most elemental of social graces. He was sweet, though–just lost.

Anyway, at the dinner table, he seemed to think The Shovel It In Method was an accepted way to consume food. At a restaurant, I watched while he hunched over his hamburger, lowered his face to the plate and bit into it, while minimally raising it. He was one step away from Dog Bowl. I don’t know where he is today, poor thing. I think my sister pretty much mothered him the whole time they were together. All those tattoos made for a lot of interesting photographs, though. (She’s a photographer.)

Juggernaut I laughed out loud while reading about Paul. What a maroon! :stuck_out_tongue:

13

Many years ago I went on a business trip with my then-boss (a lengendary slob who would pick his nose in your presence and flick the boogers into the garbage can. “Ping!”) We ate dinned at a Spaghetti Warehouse, and I was amazed and impressed when after finishing his meal he picked up his plate and licked it clean.

My son’s best friend is a real sweet kid, but he apparently has no concept of chewing with his mouth closed, or not talking when his mouth is full. We used to invite him to join us for meals when he was over. It seemed as though he would intentionally wait until he had stuffed his mouth full before launching into some story. We told our son that his friend was always welcome in our home, but that we just couldn’t bear to have him share meals with us. I cannot imagine how his parents stand it.

14

I mentioned this in a previous thread discussing the urban vs rural eating habits of a particular country/region but, in short, I had a co-worker I ate with once… and never again.

He would lean over his plate to the point where his head was barely above his food and, using his hands instead of the utensils within reach, would lift each object to his mouth, be it beans or chicken, and ravish the everlovin’ crap out of it. Inbetween ingestions, he’d loudly smack his lips and fingers, seemingly trying to audibly suck out the last gluttonous bit of yummy from every inhalation.

I wasn’t prepared for this display, otherwise I wouldn’t have brought him to the company cafeteria. After we were done, I was tempted to ask him to walk through a carwash.

15

One of the worst was a couple of summers ago, when the guy who sat at the table next to ours CLIPPED HIS TOENAILS AT THE TABLE. My eyes threw up.

Also, when I was waitressing I was witness to many horrible, horrible things. I worked at a sports bar for a time, and there was one fellow who would come in and eat chicken wings by the dozen with a group of his slobbiest friends. He would attack each wing with abandon, sauce and chicken bits all over his face. He’d bark at me for more beer/wings with his mouth full of half-chewed food, flecks of chicken spraying out of his mouth toward me. He also unselfconsciously belched loudly at every opportunity, and, to cap it all off…

when he was finished with each wing, he would throw the slobbery bones onto the FLOOR.

Of course, inasmuch as I’m the lowly waitress, I would be forced to go around picking them up, followed by about 10 minutes straight of scrubbing my hands in the hottest water possible.

16

That other thread mentioned that asparagus is a finger food. Never heard of that, but I’m pretty sure that steamed broccoli is NOT a finger food.

Yesterday I witnessed a guy eat broccoli with his fingers. Unbelievable.

17

Everything else you mentioned can be described as bad table manners. The actions in the quote are complete disrespect for a fellow human. He should’ve been seized by a bouncer and tossed out.

18

I wondered who that stranger was at our dinner table!

I blame my wife and kids for the fingerization of certain veggies in the Dinsdale household. When ragging at my kids to eat their veggies (“Look! They are little trees!”) I considered ingestion sufficient success to not worry about the means of transport.

Concerning broccoli, would you eat raw broccoli with your fingers? If so, what about the act of steaming changes things?

19

Good lord. I agree. Slobbery bones. Shudder.

Slight highjack: the ads are for Ruth’s Chris Steak House. I’ve seen these restaurants. What on earth does “Ruth’s Chris” mean? It’s hard to say. Who is Ruth? Who is Chris? And why is he Ruth’s?

20

Not quite table manners, but I will never ever forget the time we went to a very expensive, nice French restaurant - there were 12 of us - and my ex-boyfriend stuck two straws up his nose.
That, my friends, was the beginning of the end. And on my list of “acceptable traits in a guy” was added - “knows how to act in a fine restaurant”.
Thankfully, my current SO can be very sophisticated and dignified when needed.