Worst Table Manners You've Witnessed?

[Pushkin]

A cow-orker eats like a crab, head down and knife and fork flicking food up like the little feelers a crab has :rolleyes:

[Hypno-Toad]

@Pushkin

A cow-orker eats like a crab, head down and knife and fork flicking food up like the little feelers a crab has :rolleyes:

Reminds me of an event involving three of my college friends. Friend 1 takes the other two home for a weekend. This is on the Eastern Shore of Maryland where crabs are a big thing. So they go out to a locally famous seafood restaurant and friend 1 orders crabs for the other two. Friend 2 has no trouble with the unfamiliar creature, sitting whole on his plate. Friend 3, however, is less adept. From amongst the equally unfamiliar array of tools around his plate he grabs the mallet.

And proceeds to repeatedly smash the huge dead crab like it was a rabid sewer rat that had just jumped on the plate.

Friend 1 had brought her family too. Every one of them was now wearing small particles of smashed crab and a stunned expresion. Watching someone destroy an expensive meal was what really stunned them rather than the violence of the act itself.

[Eve]

@jellyblue

Jellychick and I were at a fairly nice restaurant a few weeks ago and the woman beside us finished her scallops, pulled a box of floss out of her purse and went. to. town. Hands in the mouth, wild contortions, bits flying everywhere - this was a flossjob that would make any hygeinist proud. I just don’t know why I had to see it. In a restaurant. At the table. Ew.

I had a boss at one of my magazines who would floss his teeth during editorial meetings–then he would roll up the tooth-yuck in his fingers and flick it.

[Pushkin]

@Hypno-Toad

Friend 1 had brought her family too. Every one of them was now wearing small particles of smashed crab and a stunned expresion. Watching someone destroy an expensive meal was what really stunned them rather than the violence of the act itself.

That’s what I like, the stories that leave me hardly able to stop smiling when I read them. Ironic that cow-crab-worker sits opposite me and asks why I smile from time to time at nothing

[InappropriateHumor]

@Palikia

I work in a retirement home with a lovely dining room. One of the old men regularly removed his upper and lower plates half way through his meal, dropped them in hs water glass then reinserted them in his mouth. No one would sit at his table.

My father in-law would do this, but only after having licked the dentures as clean as he could. This was always the finale of a meal spent listening as he chewed with his mouth open, slurping, chomping, and spraying, all the while breathing like an asthmatic Pekingese. Gotta hand it to him, the man loved his vittles.