No one wants to nominate one of those girly-games, where the entire object is to change Barbie’s outfit? I don’t think even girls liked those…
I’ve never really been into console games, so I can’t attest to their quality. I do play PC games, however, and one of the worst I’ve run into (i.e., one that I’ve actually played - I know there are a great many very bad games, such as those lame hunting / fishing games, but I don’t bother with them) was one of the old SSI Forgotten Realms RPGs (I forget which one exatcly, I think it was the 3rd or 4th in the series). The game itself wasn’t too bad. However, it was unstable (i.e., it crashed frequently). That in itself was annoying, but what damned the game was the fact that it left any saved files open when they were loaded. So, when it crashed, it took the saved games out with it. Which, of course, meant that you had to start completely over if you wanted to play again.
I never played another SSI game after that.
More great links. Thanks Trion.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III for Gameboy…Goddamnit, I cannot beat that fucking game!!! Why the hell do they make it so hard to beat???I was 12 when I got it, for Chrissakes!!! GRRR!!!
Sorry, I got a little carried away there. I got up to Shredder, but the game is IMPOSSIBLE.
Damn.
I guess it’s because the first one was soooooo easy…I beat it in 5 minutes.
Damn!
I can’t believe no one has mentioned not only the worst game (series) ever, but also the most evil, I don’t even want to write the name, for even that beings about evil. But, here goes:
…Pokemon! God, it’s so awful! Is there any redemming qualities about this god-awful game? No! Bad! Evil! The creators (and anyone who plays it) should die painful deaths as described in that other thread and rot in Hell!
The main page is http://www.seanbaby.com and is also funny as hell.
No one’s mentioned E.T. for the Atari 2600 yet? Forget everything else, this game is the worst: Almost impossible to figure out what the hell you’re doing, no fun even if you know what you’re doing, and it was programmed in only six weeks as a cheap attempt to cash in on the movie’s success. Not only that, but it’s one of the games that helped instigate the crash of '82 by flooding bargain bins with unwanted cartridges. This came close to killing the video game industry for good before Nintendo showed up with the NES.
For all that, E.T. deserves to be declared the worst by a long shot.
Damn. Someone beat me on the link to Seanbaby’s page. The really sad thing is I had almost half of his worst ever list, and I had very few games . . .
As far as computers go, no question. Phantsmagoria II. Ok, this game had (in FMV and normal play) nudity, normal sex, bondage, and a domanatrix being backdoored in the restroom of an S&M club, and it STILL managed to be boring. And the “puzzles” were not just couterintuitive, they were insane. You get a wallet under a sofa by getting your pet rat to go fetch it, and then tempting him back with a granola bar. Every puzzle was like this, for the entire game, periodically interspaced with watching the “actors” sit around, bitch at each other, and explain pop psycology to each other.
Roberta Williams, who designed Phantasmagoria II as well as several actually good adventure games is frequently heard to complain about how stupid current gamers are, in that they don’t like adventure games any more. Right back at-cha, baby. Maybe they all played PII and swore off them.
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“I’d expect more of a potty mouth from a naked chick chained to a wall.”
What about Pokemon Snap? Not only does it involve those annoying little blobs of rodentia-esque critters, but the whole premise of the game is you run around looking… just LOOKING… at these poorly rendered hunks of shit!.
Bah.
Anyway, I remember one game review a few years ago for a game called M.O.D.E. This game got a 10% (oout of 100%) in PCGamer, I believe. This how the description went (paraphrased):
Good: The ESC key quickly takes you out of the game.
Bad: (Lots and lots of things)
Overall: Takes up three CDs that would be better used for John Tesh music.
And the graphics for this game were supposedly superb… which just goes to show ya that graphics aren’t everything.
[hijack]
If you do go to seanbaby.com, you absolutely must read the “Fat Chics in Party Hats” section. If you have heart problems, or loose bowels, you may not want to read it as you may die or shit yourself from laughing so hard.
Or, if you’re a fat person who is not secure and happy with who they are, you may not want to read it because you may get offended.
Read at your own risk, but it is great. I have read it like 26 times, and every time I laugh till I cry.
Check it out.
[/hijack]
http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/basedoncrap08.htm
Taboo: a Nintendo game based on the mysterious power of the Tarot.
Now, I’ve played some seriously bad games. Secret of Evermore; Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest; Legend of Mana; Final Fantasy VIII; Deadly Towers; Bird Week; Crash Dummies; Booby Kids; A Boy and His Blob; Noah’s Ark; Tecmo: Secret of the Stars and even that one game with Mario traveling through time, but this one probably tops them all in terms of… ick… bleh… well, you can download the ROM* and see for yourself.
Just don’t blame me if its awesome satanic predictive power propels you into the final circle of hell.
*I do not endorse or condone such naughty, illegal things! Heavens, no!
Apparantly none of you have ever played Rygar. Utter crap. It wasn’t too bad, except for the music. And the story line. And the gameplay. And the fact that the end boss was invulnerable. And its seemingly unendingness. And the fact that it was horrible.
All the sports games seem a waste to me, and I don’t allow the kids to buy them, although they have some as presents.
The logic ones are the best.
After that, the Sim___ series.
There is too little choice of style these days, though.
Kickboxing, target practice, and vehicle chases are all identically mindless.
Just about any game made by Acclaim is crap-tacular.
Others include :
Yoshi’s Story - the worst sequal to one of the best action/adventure games ever made.
Secret of Evermore - this is the game that made me swear off SquareSoft games for good. It’s absolutely unplayable.
A selection of some of the worst PC games of all time (and I’ve played almost all of them since 1984 or so.)
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Strike Commander was Origin’s attempt to make an F-16 flight sim that was just like the “Wing Commander” sci-fi series. It was about as real as Wing Commander, too. Missions were linear and strung together with a series of horrifyingly dumb cutscenes. The flight sim itself felt about as much like flying as banging your head against a wall until you get dizzy; it was inarguably the worst flight sim in PC history. The graphics were atrocious; it was like flying in a giant glass of milk. If you tried to play more than two missions in one sitting, you went insane.
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Patroit was 360’s land-war version of their popular “Harpoon” series. The game had an interface so awful and confusing that there is probably not a single human being on Earth capable of deciphering it. Even if you could do anything with it, the only scenarios included were a select number of Desert Storm battles, all of which were hopelessly one-sided, and you weren’t allowed to change a lot of the American forces’ orders. The game was such a flop that 360 went Chapter 11.
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Universal Military Simulator II was probably the worst video game in the history of the Milky Way. This abomination was billed as a strategic-level wargame that could accomodate any type of warfare, and included a number of scenarios. It was in black and white, and was in fact that last major-release black and white game in PC gaming history. The interface was horrible and the game was so badly programmed that even on today’s machines the AI took hours to make a move. Unfortunately, when it was completed its move, it simply moved all its units in random directions. Opposing units would frequently forget to fight each other when brought into contact. The game invariably crashed when scenario editing features were used.
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Ultima Online was so rife with bugs and lag and playability issues that it was basically unplayable, and earned one magazine’s award for “Coaster of the Year.” The programmers neglected to include any barrier against player-killing, as a result of which all new players who joined after the game’s first release were instantly slain by all the beta testers once they left the “towns.” Even the game’s creator, “Lord British,” was killed by a player killer, although he was supposed to be invincible.
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Earl Weaver Baseball II was the sequel to the beloved Earl Weaver Baseball, long considered the best PC baseball game ever. Version II was evidently programmed by people who had never played baseball. The game’s graphics were dreadful enough, but what was even more interesting was the statistical replay; virtually every game ended 1-0, and most starting pitchers would throw 5-10 no-hitters per year.
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SimAnt, a SimCity-style game where the player takes control of an ant colony, shipped with two thirds of the manual missing in the first release. It didn’t matter, as it turned out, because the player’s actions did not have any impact on the game’s outcome.
It’s ironic Metal Gear for NES gets so much flak here. Most gaming experts consider Metal Gear SOLID one of the best Playstation games- EVER.
My experience is mostly with bad Playstation titles. A few:
Contender
WCW Thunder
Nascar '98
Kurt Warner Arena Football
Sega Genesis:
Beavis and Butthead
My girlfriend once tried to rent me Quake from the video store. The clerk must have grabbed the wrong box, because she came home with Pokemon Snap! instead. Just out of sheer stubborness, I sat down and played that stupid game all of the way through. Took all of about 45 minutes. what in the hell was the point of it? You cruised around and took pictures of pokemon and then got insulted by some guy about your images. “Oh! A [insert pokemon name here]! It would have been better if it was in the middle though. This picture is disappointing”. Bite me, old man. You know a game sucks when the best thing to do with it is to ‘abuse’ the negative features. Like beaning the pokemon with the fruit you’re supposed to be luring them with because watching them fall over is infinately more amusing than taking their damn picture.
Trion, you beat me to it. What a weird, stupid game! Avoid arrows and go fuck the Indian princess.
Although, the 2600 rendition of Custer’s wiener is a sight to behold.
[comic book guy]
Worst Game EVER!
[/comic book guy]
My little brother has this WWF game on his Nintendo64, and it is just SO BAD! The characters are created by texturing large blocks, and they have no realistic human shape at all to them. It amazed me that a game could get away with creating such shoddy characters, when so many others out there are halfway decent.
Hey! I LIKED Rygar! The end guy was too vulnerable . . . and you have a giant deadly yo-yo. How cool is that?
Loved Metal Gear, as well. Hey, a STEALTH game, circa 1985. Coool.
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“Uh Oh, the truck am starting to move!”