What’s her curfew? Since she’s never asked to go anywhere just “out”, she doesn’t technically HAVE a curfew. On school nights, she gets sent to bed around 9:30, but she rarely goes to sleep before 10:00. Sleepovers, there’s no bedtime, and they’re usually still giggling and talking 'til the wee smalls.
Can she kiss her boyfriend? (Not that she sounds terribly interested in doing that)
Well, he has kissed her, in front of me even, but it’s been a little buss on the cheek deal. Since they only really see each other at school, and the school issues detentions for public displays of affection, and she hasn’t gotten one. they’re PROBABLY not cramming their tongues down one another’s throats with any regularity, anyway.
Is she allowed computer time by herself, without supervision? She was until I happened to wander past her one evening when she said she was up to her ears in biogenesis research and I busted her surfing for photos of Jhonen Vasquez. I don’t have a problem with her surfing for photos of Jhonen Vasquez, but hey, don’t BS me and tell me you’re up to your ears in biology which is why you can’t work on your algebra, and then get caught playing.
**Can she lock her bedroom door? **She keeps it closed, and we knock and we don’t intrude, but she has been called on the carpet for the fact that it’s a disaster. I don’t mind the taped-up photos of Jhonen Vasquez, but the food on the floor shit is ridiculous. I had a painter here to do an estimate and I had to show him her room. It was embarrassing to say the least, but because school is the issue these days, I didn’t say anything other than, “You might consider cleaning that pigsty every now and then.”
Can she see R-rated movies? She prefers scary movies, many of which are rated R. This is a roll-eyes issue for me - I don’t get the appeal of scaring the shit out of oneself, but if she wants to and she doesn’t end up in MY bed afterward (which she doesn’t usually, the sole exception being after she say The Grudge, and I let her) I don’t care. She hasn’t shown any interest in seeing “sexy” films yet.
Is she learning to drive? Not yet, but we are signing her up for private driver’s ed next fall. Her birthday falls in February, which somehow precludes her taking the class in school until her junior year (she’ll be 16 in February of her sophomore year.)
Does she have a job? Can she have a job? What about volunteer work? She’ll be working Sundays this summer for the band, as I mentioned. I’d prefer that she NOT take a “real” job while her grades are already in the toilet, but to be honest, the question hasn’t yet come up. She has done some volunteer work - a six-week stint as a “Volunteen” at the local library, and her best friend volunteers one evening a month at the soup kitchen, and she usually goes to help too.
Has she ever failed, or do you keep rescuing her? Not in school so far. I can’t THINK of an instance where I rescued her from anything.
When you’re at Renn Faires each weekend, is it strictly mother-daughter, or does she run off with her friends? She’s been attending the faire with me since she was about six, and she knows the place like a second home. Additionally, I don’t worry about her much there because just about everybody knows her, too, and knows me well enough that if something WERE to happen, someone would be able to find me pretty quick. So yes, she goes off, on her own or with friends, pretty regularly.
Does she dress up? Does she put a lot of time and energy into Fairing? Or her other hobbies, like choir? She does dress up, and has asked me to make her some new garb, which I am doing. I wouldn’t say she puts a lot of energy into much of anything, but she does spend time cartooning (she’s quite good at that anime style stuff) and writing stories (which she shares, and there’s nothing overtly “weird” about them that would send up flags, other than most of them seem to be vaguely about vampires.) She participates in choir concerts and has tried out for a play - and she didn’t seem too upset about not getting a part.
Is she generally social? (Sounds like she is, with both you and her friends) I’d say yes, excepting that general anti-social teenagery stuff (again, vampires and underground comic stuff.)
On preview: bluecanary - I see where you’re getting that. Let me 'splain. She’ll say, for instance, she wants to go see The Grudge with her boyfriend. The movie starts at 3:00, can I drop her off? Sure thing. What time does she want me to pick her up? She’ll say, “well, it’s over at 5:30 and (the boyfriend)'s dad is picking him up.” I just go back to pick her up around then. It’s actually fairly coincidental that I see her come out of the theater. I HAVE offered to take them to McDonald’s or wherever after, but she hasn’t taken me up on it. And keeping track of the dating - well, I find it kind of weird that she’s going out with a boy who doesn’t generally ask to take her on dates and who basically only sees her at school, so knowing the number of dates is more related to the fact that there have been so few.
