After the recent Lute Skywatcher meltdown, I was sitting here, shaking my head, thinking how its such a shame these things keep happening – someone hits up the Dope for money, questions are asked, OP gets defensive, a Pit thread is opened, OP issues fake apology then storms off in a righteous huff.
The thing is, there’s been several people who’ve come and asked for help, gotten help, and all was well. Unfortunately, I think *because *of those successes, others got it into their heads ‘Hey, I don’t want to spend MY money on this. Why not get the Dopers to spend THEIR money instead? It worked for so-and-so.’ And we keep getting people holding out their hands, telling us crazier and crazier sob stories. It’s sad because I think a lot of Dopers are now very suspicious of such threads and now won’t donate to a worthy cause because of them.
I made up my mind a long time ago that I would not send any Doper money. A little while back someone posted about not being able to accord cat food, and I PMed them offering to purchase a bag of their cat’s food and mail it to them. They never responded. I will donate and volunteer at worthy charities. But I’ve seen it go bad so many times on here, I just won’t do it.
I can’t imagine ever giving money to a stranger over the Internet. Perhaps if I got to know someone and they had a true catastrophe, I might. I doubt that happening though.
There was a doper with the username of Monkey something (not Monkey with a Gun) that I wuld have been willing to give to. She had a bad boyfriend who absconded with the money, but what got me was, she wasn’t asking for the money. She was asking how to make X food stretch X days, and she was terribly apologetic.
Other than that, no. I don’t mind sending an extra gift in the christmas exchanges, or an extra card, but not money.
I’m sure if I could figure out PayPal I might help someone truly in need out, but not someone with a broken furnace. Not until the rest of you pay to have my roof re-shingled at least.
Yes, I have. But it was more a personal favor than blantant begging.
Also, I should state, that my fellow Dopers financed my trip to one of the NYC-Dopes – completely unsolicited by me – so I know first hand how generous Dopers are.
I did it once or twice when somebody seemed to have a sincere need that struck close to home for me. Definitely not for “Well, the rabbits might get hot when the air conditioner goes”, though.
Not on the Dope, but I recently contributed to an internet plea for one of my daughter’s friends who has been a generous friend to my daughter in the past. She is somehow on the hook for $8000.00 in back rent for someplace she hasn’t lived in for about two years. She says her name was on the lease so she is stuck with the bill. She’s also selling personal items and has taken a second job to help get it paid off.
I have donated to causes related to Doper issues before (a Doper helped raised money for a memorial plaque after a different Doper lost her husband), and I believe I donated to a charity fund related to a Doper whose daughter was having health issues. I can’t think of an occasion where I’ve just transferred money over to someone who just mentioned they could use some cash. I would certainly consider it if there was real, verified (to the extent that verification can be done for a stranger over the internet) need, but I’d be less likely.
My husband and I were talking about this last night, inspired, obviously, by the plight of bunnies living without temperature control.
I don’t think I could give cash to a stranger online due to the ease with which I could be lied to. I would at least consider someone who I knew through another known Doper or real-world friend, hoping my personal vetting system would identify the scammers.
I’ve done it, and would do it again if I felt the urge. With the small amounts I’ve got to spare, it’s no big deal. It’s worth it to me for that sense of community.
Be very careful about sending charity money to people you don’t know. I knwof two cases of people who were scamming for “charity” money on forums that I read. In one case, a speaker manufacturer was holding raffles for speakers and keeping most of the money from the tickets for himself. He was indicted for defrauding people of more than $180,000 and eventually plead guilty. AV123 Mark Schifter Indicted by Grand Jury on Five Counts | Audioholics
In another case, someone on a music forum was supposedly setting up a charity for musicians that had fallen on hard times. I think he only collected a few thousand in that case. Eventually people figured out he wasn’t doing anything with the money, and he was banned from the forum but I don’t think he was prosecuted.
I gave a little money to a well-respected Doper who held views that I considered loopy, to say the least, but he was regarded kindly around these parts (if I asked you to name a well-regarded Doper, he’d probably draw about 30% or more of the vote) and he seemed hard-up. I don’t exactly regret it, but he didn’t exactly thank me in the way I’d hoped he would: to credit me with being a good guy somewhere deep down inside. This had a chance to be feel-good story, about two guys who disagreed on serious issues but who got along just fine personally–instead, he’s been the same small-minded, difficult, ungenerous, self-righteous Doper I’d always found him to be, the general perception notwithstanding.
I have given a little money, twice I think. Once a Doper needed a carseat for their kid. They didn’t ask for anything, were just venting about life, but I offered by PM.